Men, why do so many of you put down "bigger"/plus sized women in public & to your friends & then secretly try to mess around with us voluptuous vixen?

[MsBell2018]

[Oliverlogan263]

Say luv, don't even trip about those lame kind of dudes. Sometimes guys act dumb around their boys to look cool, but we all know curves are where it's at!

For real tho - putting down how a girl looks ain't never okay, no matter what. A real one gonna see your beauty inside and out.

As for the secrets - I think dudes like that just scared to admit when a thick girl got em feelin some type of way. But you don't need that on the low kinda action.

Keep flourishing just as you are, f em haters. One day right guy gonna come holler who proud to be all up in them curves out in the open! His loss if he can't handle an real woman.

You do you, love. Any boy give you trouble, you let me know - I got your back! Bigger girls gotta stick together.

[MsBell2018]

Aww, thanks. Back in the day when I was young ( a teen in the 80's) thick was NOT it. Bigger girls like me were shunned. I disarray & have 3 handsome sons. After I gave him kids, he said "your purpose in my life is done. Now your purpose is to raise the kids" Mentally defeated, I stayed until my youngest turned 18 & graduated. 2 weeks after my husband filed for divorce. 27 years. Now I'm in my early 50"s & thick chicks are finally "in" & I'm too old to be desirable to any man. At this point, no man is trying to talk to me. If he did, it's only for sex & not to fi d out who I am as a person & get to k. ow me. I'd rather not open that door. 😞

[Oliverlogan263]

Dang sis, I can't even imagine going through all that. You're so strong to have overcome such a whack situation. Don't ever let anyone make you feel like you're "less than" because of your size or age - you are so much more than that!

For real, fuck that dude for only seeing your worth through what you could give HIM. Raising three kids is no joke all by yourself, you're a real one. His loss!

And don't count yourself out just yet. While you'll definitely find more jerks only after one thing at bars nowadays, don't shut the door on open-minded good dudes.

Putting yourself out there, even just for platonic friendships, could lead to meeting someone who sees your beauty inside and out. Who cares if the package isn't 21 anymore - what really matters is the soul and experiences within!

Keep living your truth and the right people will see your light, whether for friendship or more. I know it's hard being alone, but trust me - you're better off without people who don't appreciate a real one like you deserve. Chin up sis, there's still good times ahead!

[MsBell2018]

Thank you. You're precious. Here's the funny thing, the saying "older women make better lovers" is very true. That's why you see young men & older women. We're established & have our own stuff & $, we've had aaaaaalllllllll those years of sexual experience, we know what we want & are direct about it. After just getting out of a 7 year relationship in 2023, I'm just chilling in 2024. If it happens, it does, but I'm not looking for it.
Blessings to you Brother.

[Oliverlogan263]

Ayy sis you ain't lying! All that experience y'all older ladies got no doubt makes you the best. Plus like you said, you know exactly what you want and ain't afraid to go for it.

These young dudes be missing out not appreciating a real woman like you. Their loss! You do you, have fun and enjoy this next phase of life however YOU want.

Ain't no rush to settle down again - take all the time in the world to chill and do you. The right one will come around when you least expect. Till then, stay dazzling sis! You shine so bright, whole world gonna start to notice.

This youngin right here sees your worth, so never forget that. Keep that beauty and big heart of yours glowing always! Bless up to you too mama, keep killin it 🔥

[Oliverlogan263]

And by the way coming from me, you are very gorgeous 😍😍😍 I would have a shot at you, I wouldn’t in no way dare to miss it

[Oliverlogan263]

And I adore your heavenly smile

[MsBell2018]

Thank you. You're too kind. Shame the age gap.

[Oliverlogan263]

Thank you ma’am, you still got it to me and put most of these women half your age to shame cause I love me some thick women. All respect to you knowing you’re older than I am, you are a beautiful and perfect woman with a fine feature ❤️ you don’t even look your age at all too

[Oliverlogan263]

Also don’t even think like that! Age ain't nothin but a number, you know? So what if there's a little gap, as long as two people genuinely rock with each other that's all that matters.

Shid, I seen way bigger differences work out just fine when the connection is real. And from where I'm standin, you is real as they come - beautiful inside and out, got ya whole package together.

Any guy would be lucky to have a genuine queen like you rockin with em. So don't never count yaself out cause of no number! You doin ya thing, keep flourishing and the right one will notice, age gap or not.

At the end of the day it's about the soul connection. And from the way you carry yaself, I know you glow from the inside out. Don't sell yaself short, feel me? Keep shinin mama!

[ItsMariusz]

I wouldn't exactly say I "put down" plus sized women... I've been called fatphobic many times because I said I wouldn't date a plus sized female for several reasons.

Also it seems like you're speaking from what you saw, I've never seen a female get put down in public by a man simply because of the looks... It's a very rare thing to happen, so I wouldn't put the word "many" when saying that. But I guess if you saw that happen a few times online, that's what drove you to believe in such a thing.

[MsBell2018]

I speak from personal experience

[ItsMariusz]

Ah, well then it makes sense why you'd develop such a view. But I can definitely tell you, its not all men, not even the majority, its an incredibly small amount.

Also it depends on where you're currently staying, I noticed western countries tend to be more harmful and overall careless about such issues, unlike other places. I've traveled all around, and never actually saw anything like that.

[MsBell2018]

People have a "type" that attracts them. I get that. If you see someone & they don't attract you, quietly move on. There's no need to comment or be rude. Comments in the store like "that fat b@$%# needs to have a cart full of water & salad & nothing else" or trying to have a meal out & comment is made "I can see why she eating alone, she'd never share her food or ate her date"
Why? Why are things like this necessary to say to someone minding their own business & not bothering you? Why even let hateful things like that come out? I'd just stay silent & leave. No sense in trying to defend myself or explain anything. I'm not grossly or morbidly obese, but I carry some weight. I'd like to lose 30 pounds. I've already lost 25, but no one cares about that part. They see a size 18/20 woman & assume she's lazy & doesn't work, doesn't bathe, stinks & eats large quantities of food all day long & THATS why she's "so big & fat".

[ItsMariusz]

I agree, that's just how western society is unfortunately. I also dont understand the insulting part...

My take: The media and entertainment industry play a significant role in shaping cultural attitudes and humor. Comedy in Western societies often pushes boundaries and explores taboo subjects, which can contribute to the perception of a higher tolerance for these kinds of insults, or jokes about horrible things. In addition, cultural attitudes, including humor preferences, can evolve over time. Older and younger generations within a society may have different perspectives on what is considered appropriate or humorous.

It's only going downhill from here, so prepare yourself as different generations continue to be born and influenced.

[MsBell2018]

Yes, I agree. As morality & respect slips further & further away. I'm in the U. S.

[Rei13]

The guys that do that aren’t worth the calories. They’re attracted to you but for whatever reason they don’t want everyone else to know that, or maybe they’re only a little attracted but more attracted to other women. Regardless if someone acts like that you should drop them and move onto the next one. Everyone deserves to be loved and treated with respect

[MsBell2018]

I agree 100%. I just don't get why

[bobalife]

I think anyone who generally put others physical or weight down and/or take action in the opposite direction has internal problems and poor judge of characters. I’d say don’t mind them. You do you and do what makes you feel good in your skin :)

[MsBell2018]

Thank you. Bottom line is we all want to love & be loved. If someone doesn't appeal to you, just be silent & keep it moving. To me, why waste the time & energy to put them down?

[bobalife]

Frfr I feel it… there’s that saying “hurt people hurt people” and another motivational quote by Jay Shetty, “to leave people where they are, accept situations for what they are, and not every action needs a reaction”

[MsBell2018]

Here here, well said.

[bobalife]

Thank you 😊

[HawkPerception]

I mean... I guess I've just never understood how people can let themselves get so big. Anytime I see myself getting a bit of a belly, I'm like "Nope... Not happening." and take working out seriously until it's gone. It's not hard to live a somewhat active lifestyle or eat less trash food. And is it that hard to say no to sugary desserts which slow down your metabolism?

Also, I've never went for a plus sized girl in my life. It's just something I can't do.

I will say that I would never put someone down to their faces unless they pissed me off in some kind of way.

[MsBell2018]

Unfortunately, not everyone "let's themselves get so big." Sometimes there's other issues going on besides what & how much they eat.
Sadly, it does happen. People really do speak. out & trash talk & body shame complete strangers just because they can. I'm speaking from 1st hand experience. I went to lunch once & was minding my own business having a nice meal. 2 men sitting near by started making elephant trumpet noises & loud crunching noises each time I put the fork in my mouth-i was having a salad. They were laughing loudly, making comments about how the restaurant was going to have to charge me for the chair I was sitting in that was about to break. One man said "i can see why she's eating alone." to which the other man said "she probably wasn't, she probably ate HIM too!" They were laughing so hard & loud & that made others take notice. They made dolphin noises & asked if my meal was a plate of raw fish "because that's what you feed an orca." Everyone was laughing at that point. I never said a word & never looked at them before they started or while they were degrading me. I sat there eating my salad & drinking my water with tears running down my face in embarasssment & hurt. The server came over with this fake sad look on her face & asked if I needed something else. No, just my check. Before the server walked away, the one guy said "Hey, we'd like to buy her dessert, but we both got paid today & our paychecks combined wouldn't be enough to send her home with all the desserts you got!" The server busted out laughing with everyone else & quickly walked away. I gathered my things while she got my check & the men kept on & on with the insults & I ignored them.

[MsBell2018]

The manager came to my table & apologized. He said the server told him what had happened & he's been hearing the men the past 5-10 minutes "cracking jokes" Those weren't jokes, those were insults directed at ME, I'd told him. He said he "knew the 2 guys & there was no way they meant harm" well, they did. He apologized & paid for my salad. When I left I said "God bless you gentlemen. Hope you have a good day." to which they answered "go sideways out the door fatty!"
Was all that necessary? I did nothing to deserve that. Nothing. I'll say, I'm 5'4" & 190lbs a size 16 & curvy. Nasty & mean is all.

[HawkPerception]

I'm sorry you had to go through that. I absolutely agree with you that those guys were way out of line and their parents should've strangled them in the crib while they had the chance. Although I may be a bit extreme when saying this, trash like that does not deserve life in my opinion. Putting others down for no reason is disgusting.

While I may talk to my buddy about my distaste for obesity, it's definitely not my intention to put others down like that.

However, I will say that no matter what your health issues are, I'm sure you're not putting much effort into losing weight. There's not a single starving person in Africa that is obese. If anything they're closer to skeletons. Basically the amount of calories you intake and burn directly affects your weight. Yes, some people's metabolisms are worse than others, but exercising fixes your metabolism. I can probably guess you don't do HIIT exercise for 30 minutes a day, 5 days a week and diet. If you did, I promise you wouldn't be overweight.

[aceleon]

i don't

i am the most upfront guy you will ever met and a huge size king

bigger isalways better as long as it doesn't mean obese.

my point goes for penis too ( i'm not gay or bi, if i was, i would be having sex with guys now instead of writing here since guys are so much easier to seduce)

[MsBell2018]

You're a rarqe breed.
Some women aren't hard to seduce at all. Stimulate & make love to what's between her ears, be a decent stand up respectful guy & what's between her knees will usually come to you.

[aceleon]

rarqe breed? what is that?
also i know how to seduce woman as a straight man, the problem is too much trouble for too little reward, also i don't do respectful or make love, best you can hope from me is decent enough and i slept with enough woman to know that by respect you mean not being creepy like incels or perverts .

[MsBell2018]

Apologies. I meant rare not rarqe

By respectful I meant how he treats her, how he talks to her, the way he talks to her ,* the words he uses when talking to her.

[aceleon]

well as much as i see respect doesn't work like you said since i was a jerk since childhood and never had much problems with getting laid (until this year where i hit 100 plus kg from medicines (like expected) on the other hand i never dated anyone so i guess respect works for relationship in general while for sex itisnot needed.

[MsBell2018]

I truly appreciate your honesty. You made it sound like 100 kg is a lot. I guess it depends on your height utoreso your comfort level in your own skin. Personally, if you're 5 ft 8 in or taller, that's quite nice to me. I like a solid man though. Respect works in all relationships, it's just the level of it.

[aceleon]

i am 5'10
you should have seen me before i get weight, if you want solidity i was a machine, i was 70-75 kg and was ripped as hell, my chest and abs were like iron (i was training like a maniac my training program was in a way unhealthy)

[MsBell2018]

Still, at that height, 220 lbs is a good weight to me. Being muscular/ripped isn't a must have for me.

[aceleon]

well i don't want my previous body back for girls to be honest i want it for myself, being fat sucks for me.

[killergoku999]

Simple, men dont want to stain his reputation between other males. It's always good to date or praise beautiful, curvy, fit and skinny female shapes. But then in secret like the attention of any women.

It's an society problem, since kids and pass over.

[MsBell2018]

It's hurtful & I wish it would be different because a lot of females are changing their outer appearance, getting surgeries & killing themselves over being told they're fat, ugly, unwanted, etc.

[killergoku999]

Yep very true. It's sad, but this work should start this new parents teaching kids about it, making them strong enough to not be embarrassed by liking all body shapes, sizes and forms.

[AaronKrieger]

It's probably for the sake of wanting to be funny or they want to hurt you. As for the other, they do not want to be made fun of or they think they can take advantage of them. It could be a plethora of things for either.

For me, I have never done it and do not find it funny when others do. This is not me trying to be a "white knight," but body image issues are a serious problem for a lot of women. It is one of those things that pains for me to see.

[Nikki1989]

Men are the biggest hypocrites when it comes to body shapes and sizes.

[DextroShade]

If you are a guy and you get with fat chicks, other men know it's likely because you are loser and cannot do better. This is why it is embarrassing for men to be seen with one. Personally I would rather just be alone than have to deal with a woman I am not attracted to but thankfully my wife is fit.

[MsBell2018]

Agreed. I am just trying to get why shame a "fat chick" in public, then turn around & be sleeping with one in secret? Believe me, it happens a lot

[bradley142]

I've never myself put down a bigger woman hel I've dated a larger woman before and tbh she was one of the nicest people I've even meet still to this day we are friends she is married now but not only was she one of the nicest women I've even met but in bed wow wild and amazing but she wanted different thing from life so nothing wrong with a larger or bigger woman

[MsBell2018]

See, you took the time. to find out! My point
Thank you.

[bradley142]

your welcome and you could have just dm to say that but anytime

[MsBell2018]

It says I can't, but thanks.

[bradley142]

you should be able to follow me back

[Billlewis]

I wouldn't dream of speaking unfavorably of a beautiful, plus sized woman, because if she doesn't weigh at least two hundred pounds, I probably won't be interested in her.

[MsBell2018]

Are there any more where you come from? 🤣

[Billlewis]

Oh, I assure you that there are thousands, if not millions of guys who are only interested in a plump sexy beauty ❤️

[MsBell2018]

And single?
None where I live
If there are any, then the men who don't like women like me have them. tied up somewhere telling them "shut up! That's NOT good!" 🤣

[Billlewis]

I just started following you and I'd be honored if you'd like to follow me as well, Goddess ❤️

[MsBell2018]

Woo! Hello!
You following little Ole ME? ( blushing)

[Billlewis]

Yes, ma'am, I most certainly am, because you are absolutely magnificent, and I know I'm not worthy even to kiss your luscious feet ❤️

[MsBell2018]

Aww, please don't day that. That just hurt my heart.😥

[NathanDavis]

that has to be a especial kind of douchebag... lol

[Joshydavid25]

I don't know you'll have to ask the men who actually do it TBH.. Nowadays a lot of men openly like bigger girls, even the obese ones.. If you have true curves meaning wide hips and booty, then I'm sure you have some guys out here slobbering..

[FenixG45]

I NEVER put down plus sized women. I prefer voluptuous ladies!

[Anonymous]

Lol... I don't put them down ever... but I won't "fool around " with them ever either... no double standards here

[XXTruthfulOgrexx]

Sex is sex. Literally.

[MsBell2018]

Agreed but not just talking about sex. What about relationships, love & long. term commitment?

[XXTruthfulOgrexx]

That wasn't the post. But some men will start a relationship just because they may think their options are limited.

Considering the overall majority of men are invisible to the overall majority of women, if someone expresses an interest those men will jump at the opportunity regardless if they feel they are "settling" or not.

If another suddenly appears the men find more attractive or a better match with you get the perfect storm conditions for an affair.

Same thing happens the other way when women feel like they settle, then meet a playboy who they think is better and they monkey branch over only to find that guy is twice as bad as the one they left.

[MsBell2018]

Monkey branch... loved it.
Many people can be fickle & "pass time until something better comes along."
My question was about a man/men body shaming a woman he/they feel is fat/overweight/plus sized around their friends or in public and then turn around & try to get with or have the same type of woman in secret/on the side-his dirty little secret. I just don't get that. Why be ashamed of her? If she's good enough to lay down & have sex with, then she should be good enough for him to claim-even if for sex only.

[sheikalana]

They’re immature and ashamed of their preferences.

[MsBell2018]

Possibly

[KittygosMeoWW]

No one should be anyone’s secret

[MsBell2018]

Agreed, but it happens & it hurts when you find out you are. That'll break you

[KittygosMeoWW]

It happens if you allow it, when I was super fat and pregnant so many men wanted to claim me as their girlfriend. Should I have dated one of them I’d be damned if they kept me a secret.

[MsBell2018]

Thing was. We was together 3-4 days a week & at least every other weekend
Then I found out he had a WHOLE WIFE he was living with still ! Here he was with me while she was @ work. She a traveling nurse, so weird schedule. I was immediately done, but it hurt.

[KittygosMeoWW]

I feel it I’ve been cheated on!

[MsBell2018]

Uh oh! I hope not

[MsBell2018]

Oh no! I hope not!!

[KittygosMeoWW]

I meant in the past lol

[MsBell2018]

Whew!

[jarkitor20]

I praise you voluptuous vixens like you should be

[MsBell2018]

Thank you. There need to be more men like you¡ I've given up after decades of being good enough to lay down with but not good enough to marry or be his dirty little secret that he's willing to fawn over in bed but shuns ,& ignores in public

[Anonymous]

Since when did "voluptuous" start meaning, "fat"?

[MsBell2018]

Depending on the user.

[Opinion Owner]

It's SUPPOSED to mean sexy!

[MsBell2018]

Curvacious, sexually attractive, luxurious and sensually pleasing.
Like most words, it's been changed referring to a larger/bigger woman.

[Opinion Owner]

Right. What part of that says, "fat"?

[MsBell2018]

Absolutely none. However, it's often misconstrued as such.
Like the word "wretched". People say "ratchet" to mean the same thing. No, ratchet is a type of wrench.

[Opinion Owner]

Lots of people don't know the meanings of certain words or even which version of a word to use. They're, there and their. To, too and two, etc..

[MsBell2018]

Correct. People struggle with homophones as well.

[dudeinohio]

Never have put anyone down.

[JohnK123]

What does volumptpus vixen mean