I have been used many times by men. Men will say what they think you want to hear and use you up for all they can get. Then you have the judgmental types that will base your character off the clothes you wear or the way you act. I face that scenario all the damn time.
I'd much rather be used for bill paying, hair and nails for an arrogant, selfish woman and the lucky guys she's spending quality time with, and being her 'date maid' after the giy leaves the next day.
this is a self worth problem. Guys are responsible for being corrupt and poorly trained.
But you are the one picking them, believing them and permitting it. The woman holds the keys. If you hand them to the other person, then you are the source of the solution.
So you don't want guys to just use you for sex but you then post a picture that screams that you do want that? Its a revealing outfit thats part puma print, that signals a certain cheapness to men that you'd want a one night stand or have sex on the first date.
You do you as I don't have a problem with it at all, but I did want to point it out how this is going to come across to men in general. Because you say you feel used, I'm pointing out what can help solve the issue and attract more serious men.
@zeitgeist057 No, I get why you'd make that argument on the "Its your clothes" since thats commonly done in that line to. But in this case its nothing to do with rape culture, it has to do with virtue signaling your preferences. If you wear an outfit most people would wear to signal they want one night stand type sex then people who want such a thing approach you and the serious men don't. If you wear something extremely modest only people who are equally conservative approach you, etc. This is a cultural signal, not people blaming their inability to control themselves on a girls clothes.
I think there are parallels, though. It's the same basic foundation of thought: "What you wear is responsible for how people treat you."
I disagree with this justification of treating someone poorly. But I do agree that people do this. If I wear a suit and expensive clothes, people will treat me different than if I wear old smelly clothes in bad repair. But I think people at their best do not treat someone differently who wears a suit or wears rags, they will be kind and respectful to everyone regardless of the outward appearance.
That's what I am getting at with the "clothes justify treatment" of rape culture mindset. To say "you are asking to be used" is parallel to "you are asking to be raped". (based on clothing).
@zeitgeist057 "I disagree with this justification of treating someone poorly." I disagree with the notion its treating someone poorly. If a girl signals she just wants something casual and wants something casual then being treated casual is a good thing. Which is why those types of outfits exist, it allows you to attract what you want.
The issue here is that there is a mismatch between the clothes and the intent from the wearer, not so much that people who react to the clothes. They are looking for something specific and go for the girls who visually signal they are open to that / want that. So they aren't doing anything wrong here, they are going to a girl that would under normal circumstances consent to that kind of treatment instead of a girl who signals that she is looking for long term commitment.
Good point, I made that assumption that OP felt bad about "being used" by guys, maybe she enjoys that feeling? And if not her, others I know certainly do and have expressed it as something they enjoy.
I would still contend that one can wear whatever one likes and still object to being treated the way others interpret "they must want to be treated". Like a homeless person's clothes for example, I think they can still say "please treat me with respect and dignity, even though I don't have resources to maintain personal hygiene". Or a woman can wear something and say "please treat me with respect and dignity, even though I chose this sexually appealing/revealing outfit because it makes me feel bold and powerful.".
@zeitgeist057 Of course people should treat you how you want to be treated but in this case its about signaling what you wish to attract as far as people approaching you goes.
If you're solely going off online interactions posting pictures on your profile like the one you posted here I can see why you feel that way your a sexy looking young woman and your in reviling clothes it looks like u have a nipple ring out line in ur sports bra. Now I don't believe that makes any of it ok what's so ever and I think u look amazing but without Communication I wouldn't know any better u should just come right out and tell them hay I'm down to play but also want something more not just the sex and see where they stand before ever doing anything serious and then u are both at least on the same page
I hold my hand up and yes there are a load of guys who a repeat offenders at this and I have girl friends that have been through the mill with repeat relationships where they have been used. With them (and not saying this is true across the board), it has been the ‘type’ they have been going for, we have told them at times straight out they are being used and was ignored. There are more guy players than girl ones. I have I think been used twice, once was where a girl wanted out of a relationship and used me as the reason (without me being aware of any of this) and the other was a girl who was using me as a place to stay, only found out when I had to go away and I said she would have to go back to her place / parents and she told all.
Women enjoy having sex as much as men. Men and women are equal, after all. There is nothing different. You can enjoy casual sex, too. There is no reason to feel ashamed of those experiences. The reason you feel bad about casual sex is because society tells women they are meant to stay a virgin and submit to their husbands and stay at home cooking and cleaning, which is wrong. If it's what you like, then do not feel bad. You do not need to feel embarrassed about your sexual feelings. Just enjoy sex you're a human after all.
I haven't felt used. I was in a relationship having sex. When i wasn't in a relationship, and I chose to have sex... it was because I wanted it. So we used each other lol...
I'm confused by the point of this post. You're asking about being used and then posting that pic that seems completely irrelevant to your question. Help me understand?
I always make my intentions clear with girls from the start, as men we need to be transparent and honest at all times haha.
The amount of girls I've been with who have told me they've been used and appreciate my honesty really was an eye opener... Simple communication in so easy and extinguishes hurt
There seems to be a common theme repeated again and again on this site. Women and girls complaining about guys using them, not being able to find a good guy, etc. It's pretty simple. Don't have sex, or let yourself fall for somebody, or enter a relationship with them until you know they aren't a piece of shit.
Many times they wanna talk about themselves and don’t ask me many questions to get to know me. Been used at night when they felt horny or lonely. Been used when they have crushes to use me as a crutch. Been used by girls who felt sad and wanted to be cheered up…
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