Why would he not bring up his girlfriend?

[Anonymous]

Backstory: This guy and I have had a flirty connection for a few years but never were able to explore the feelings due to timing and change of address. The past few years have been rocky with him and we have unfollowed and followed each other multiple times. Fast forward to today, I noticed him looking through my stories, but he still doesn't follow me. I reached out and we had a conversation expressing feelings and ultimately saying to continue talking and see where things head. This was great for a few days and we re-added each other on socials but then he went ghost. He still likes all my ig stories. I'm obviously confussed, so I went snooping and found out he had a girlfriend for a few months already. Why wouldn't he tell me this?

[DizzyDesii]

A lot of men and women don’t admit it when they are still on the “grass is greener” hunt. I remember my longest college crush and I always ran into eachother at the most random times throughout several years. We kept ending up at the same schools in the same classes. We even kept running into eachother outside of school and he’d serenade me with his horrible Pitch Perfect singing. We were overly flirty and he was all over me. But we never went out and he preferred communication over email which i didn't think much of at the time. But yea the whole time he was hiding that he had a girlfriend. One day she shows up attending our school (she transferred over) and ends up in my class. she's like “hi your names desi right? My boyfriend talks about you all the time. Im sorry did i say boyfriend? I meant fiance.” I was in shock. He was apparently with her all the 3-5 years we flirted and he was steady hugging all over me and stuff. He was even very territorial around other men. The fact she knew seemed weird to me like she was some cuck or maybe she just wasn't threatened because she had the ring. She shouldve felt threatened since he never told me about her in return. I don't know. Anyways i started ignoring him from then on out and he got more and more jealous when other guys were around me. See, i found out she was making him wait til marriage for sex. Im sure he knew that i was practicing celibacy too so I don't know if he thought he could get sex out of me sooner or what. I feel like he and i had more in common too but im no ones side piece. Anyways, he kept trying to run off all the guys who approached me. His fiance eventually cheated on him and slept with some random and got knocked up. So ig they both struggled with waiting. He then left her and started doing drugs. He was in pretty bad shape last i saw of him

[_Maya_]

Sounds like maybe you two even tho you have had a connection over the years it wasn't that serious or personal. If it was always just flirting and nothing personal was ever said then that might be why he didn't tell you that. Plus if you just added each other back recently and there hasn't been any flirting he might just not want to share his personal information about his life. I can actually understand that. If I have a very loose connection and with someone on the internet I am really careful about what I share until I feel very comfortable with them. Doesn't sound like you are at that level yet maybe. I wouldn't worry about it unless the flirting starts again. Then it can be a problem.

[Oliverlogan263]

That's messed up he didn't mention having a girlfriend. If I was talking to a girl and catching feelings again, I'd definitely tell her if I was with someone else.

Maybe he's not that into his girlfriend and was enjoying the attention from you again. Or he wanted to keep you as a backup option in case things didn't work out with her. Either way, not cool of him to lead you on without being honest.

I'd confront him about finding out and seeing what he says. Could be he was hoping you wouldn't find out. If he acts sorry, you'll have to decide if you can trust him now or not. Personally I wouldn't mess with a guy who hid something like that. You deserve better than being someone's secret. His loss if he wasn't straight with you from the start.

[spartan55]

Why would he, that would ruin things with you then...

[Anonymous]

This is another unnecessary social media fail. A disease of the modern world.

[laly520]

simple, he is playing around