Why would he follow me on social media & should I follow him back?

[Anonymous]

This guy I used to talk to that liked me followed me on TikTok recently. We have history and talked off and on for years. I didn't like him back romantically and he was upset at that. Our last interaction was an argument in which he felt I was playing games and stringing him along. If things ended bad and he knows I don't reciprocate his interest what is the reason for following me?

[Oliverlogan263]

Yo that is a weird situation. If things ended badly between you, following each other on social media seems like it could stir up drama.

My guess is he's still kinda hung up on you even after all this time. Probably checking your page to see what you're up to and if anything's changed. Some guys just don't get the hint that the interest ain't mutual, you know?

I wouldn't read too much into it or take it as him wanting to get back in touch necessarily. But I also wouldn't follow him back right away either. See how he acts first - if he starts commenting or messaging, then you'll know he wants to reopen things.

If he just follows and leaves it at that, might not be a big deal. But watch your back too - last thing you need is him popping up trying to cause problems. My advice? Don't engage for now unless he reaches out respectfully. Dude sounds possessive, so just protect your energy.

[Asker]

I followed him back and so far he hasn't been overbearing. He commented on one of my pics but he just congratulated me on something. He said I looked gorgeous. He also messaged me to ask if he could call me but I ignored it. He occasionally likes what I post, he is not overdoing it.
My thoughts were that it's just social media and following him back shouldn't mean much.
By following him back do you think I gave him false hope?

[Oliverlogan263]

Ah I see, that's pretty chill of him so far then. And nah, I wouldn't say following him back necessarily gave him false hope. Social media is like that - we all follow people sometimes just cuz even if there's no deeper meaning.

As long as you're not actively engaging real heavy with his messages/comments and making it seem like you WANT to talk, I don't think it says you're interested in him again or nothin. Guys can overthink stuff like follows sometimes.

The fact you ignored his call request was a good move - sets the boundary that you're just casually following each other online, nothing more. As long as you keep it at that level I don't think you led him on. Dude seems he's trying to play it cool so far too.

I'd just stay casual with it - like his posts if you want but don't go out of your way to private message much unless you want to be friends. You got your reasons not to date him so don't feel bad just keeping an online acquaintance type thing going if that's all it is. Hope this helps! Let me know if he starts getting pushy or something.

[Asker]

Do you think him calling me gorgeous/perfection was kinda pushy?

[Asker]

Or was he just giving me a compliment?

[Oliverlogan263]

Eh, that's a tough call. On one hand, it's just a compliment so maybe he was just tryna be nice. But since you told him before you wasn't interested, it could also come across as him pushing boundaries a little.

A couple things that might help:

- How he usually is with compliments. If he was over the top with them before when he liked you, it's probably more on the pushy side.

- The context of the pic he commented on. Was it more of a casual selfie or something more flirty/revealing that he mighta been checking you out on?

- His other behavior since. If he's just casually liking your stuff otherwise and not constantly showering you with compliments, maybe it was just one comment.

I'd maybe just keep an eye on it for now instead of overreacting. If he keeps it up or the comments get more flirty, then you might have to tell him straight up you're just friends online. For one comment, I wouldn't stress yet. But trust your gut too - if it didn't feel right to you, there's prob a reason for that. Just be careful he's not slowly pushing past lines again, ya know?

[Asker]

I was doing my makeup and he left that comment. Since I knew him this was the first time he ever told me something like that. He doesn't constantly comment on my content so his comment may be genuine.

If it ever gets to a point where he is liking everything or constantly leaving comments then that would be pushing it. Right now he's just being modest.
Sometimes I wonder if I should've followed him back. Only because my account is public and he doesn't really post, so what's the point ya know?

[Oliverlogan263]

Yeah, based on what you said it really doesn't sound like he was being pushy or over the top with that one comment then. Doing your makeup is a pretty normal, everyday kinda post - not like a bikini pic or anything. And since he's never said something like that before, it was prob genuine.

I wouldn't stress too much about following him back either then. Like you said, your account is public so it's not a big deal really. And he's not going overboard with reaching out or commenting a lot. I think you're right to just keep an eye on his behavior going forward.

If he starts to ramp things up and disrespect your boundaries after this, then for sure unfollow or tell him straight. But for now it seems pretty low key and casual between you. Try not to overthink it too much - social media can make things seem like a bigger deal than they are sometimes. Just be confident in yourself and not afraid to speak up if needed!

[KymberliB]

Were you stringing him along? I wouldn't allow him to follow if you really have no interest why he does it shouldn't concern you just don't engage

[Asker]

I probably strung him along because I knew he liked me very early. He made it known from the jump. I followed him back because he liked some of my pics, was that the wrong decision?

[laly520]

just to keep being in contact I guess

[Asker]

Should I follow him back?

[laly520]

if u r comfortable with it then u could

[Asker]

Okay If I know he likes me, will it create confusion following him back?

[laly520]

I doubt it will create any confusion

[Asker]

He might assume that my feelings have changed or it could give him access to reach out

[laly520]

then I guess
don't follow him back n forget about it