Would you be mad if your boss sitting next to you told you to pour him coffee (the coffee machine is right next to him)?

[Anonymous]

This happened to me recently and personally I was pretty pissed about this since as an engineer this is not my job, he could have easily done it himself and considering his intellect and skill I don’t accept him as an authority. I think his request displays his machismo and lack of respect for me. Am I overreacting? What do you think of this? He is only 4 years older than me by the way.

You’re right, it’s demeaning

You‘re kinda right but you’re overreacting

No it’s not a big deal

[Alwayreckles93]

Well maybe try owning your ow business. Life is a challenge it's not easy. I had it worst. I was young worked at a grocery store about perhaps 13 years ago this Karen manager her name was Celia. Guess what I now own my own business And make 10 times more miney then Celia now shetry to act as if nothing happen make small talk. Well I reminded her what a bitch she was at that time. She didn't like my anwer butoh well I always tell people the truth in straight at their face. This woman hated me because I was 30 years younger then her. So yeah she made my life a living hell. I will never forgive her.

[sheikalana]

Being four years older than you doesn't change the fact that he's your boss. Does he usually ask you to make his coffee or was this a one time thing? And did he demand you make him coffee or did he ask in a polite manner? I understand what you're trying to say but in the end of the day is just coffee. If it upsets you that much just tell him you do not appreciate him treating you that way. If you don't communicate he won't know you don't like being treated that way.

[Asker]

No it’s not just coffee and even if I was a waitress it’s not my job to serve him when he can do it himself

[sheikalana]

You allowed him to do it in the first place. Should've said something the moment he started with those requests. Now he thinks it's okay and it doesn't bother you.

[Asker]

WHO says I didn’t say something?

[sheikalana]

What did you say then?

[Effably]

I don't mind pouring anyone a coffee. Superior or subordinate. Or a random person I do not directly work with. I, financial consultant, frequently poue coffees for our cleaning staff. We see it as a small nicety to them to offer coffee and a small snack when they show up. We simply pretend that it takes an extra 20 minutes to clean our facilities.

Now to be fair had anyone ordered me to pour them coffee rather than ask? We'd need to chat.
My default assumption will always be that its a friendly request and that they were just tired that time.

[Asker]

Yeah but asking me to do it when he could have easily done it himself is just rude in my opinion. He doesn’t even have much responsibility

[Effably]

Yeah so you and I might seem alike. Had he just nicely asked while you were pouring yourself one or such you'd be fine with it.

If he is ordering you to cater to him when that is not your job, it feels demeaning.

Very understandable. Next time maybe you fix his coffee, he does your excel spreadsheet? Seems fair to me!

[BoopBoopBeep]

Depends how he did it.

Could you pour me some coffee please? Sure thing... here ya go.

Get me a coffee. Eat a dick howboutit?

[Asker]

He was just „pour me some coffee“

[BoopBoopBeep]

then yeah, sounds like a jerk

[OfMiceandMen]

That kind of shit is stone age and should not be in the work place. Guy needs to get his head out of his ass.

[andreasderjuengere]

Being an engineer, and not a waitress - no one could blame you if the hot coffee slips out of your hand and all over his boss costume.
Next time, maybe?

[HelpfulWoman]

-were you making a coffee at the time?
-if you were not, a simple "your arms work too, feel free to pour for yourself" or a less sarcastic answer if you want more peace.

[Asker]

No I was not making coffee

[IslaTheWitch]

I would tell him to do it by himself, lol...

I don't get mad by such treatment but I also don't comply...

[slatyb]

That is way out of bounds. How large is the company?

[Asker]

Around 1600 employees.

[EmmaMary]

I probably would, but then mention that it would be "his" turn next.

[ab2shifty]

I wouldn’t be mad, but I would tell him to do it himself

[Staximus]

You have said "I'm an engineer, not a diner waitress. Pouring coffee is not part of my job duties."

[strateguy632]

3rd,.