Guy im dating tells me to 'date whoever I want" - what does he mean?

[Eliza12345]

Dating this guy just for a few weeks; we have great chemistry and have hung out quite a bit; have also slept together already a few times and that was amazing too. I'm an attractive woman and get hit on a lot; the two times I told him about it he was very strange. For context, I only told him in conversation of 'how was your day, oh I got hit on haha, im not interested' - however both times he said "hey, date whoever you want, im no one to stop you! go ahead please you can date anyone you want!" I thought this was a bit strange response - and today (V day) he canceled on our date kinda last minute. What are your thoughts on what his "date whoever you want" comments mean? Guys would you say that to a girl you actually like?

[ProbablyClueless]

I would not say that to a woman I was taking seriously as a romantic prospect, no. The next question I have is why you would tell him something like that so early in your relationship with him?

A statement like that has one of two meanings: Either he doesn't want you to date around, but thinks you're testing him by telling him when you get hit on and he doesn't want to seem controlling or jealous. OR He genuinely doesn't care about you dating around because he doesn't see you as a serious longer term partner.

[Eliza12345]

so the context of me telling him this - so far we've had very open communication, we talk about past relationships; we've talked in detail about the work day or what happened in the day - I mentioned being hit on in a way that Im saying "I feel complimented, its nice, but really im not interested in him; it was just nice to hear". I even told him it was a compliment to him, bc Im probably being hit on because im walking around with a smile on my face because I really like this guy that im seeing (him)."

[ProbablyClueless]

Gotcha! Honestly, the complimentary part is you telling him that he makes you smile. The part where other guys are hitting on you because of it just doesn't have the same impact on men that it does women lol

[Drew-1990]

He probably wasn't a fan of it. I'd personally wouldn't be a fan of it. It's also possible. He's like we're not official, Do what you want. Lots of people will date multiple people before they become an official couple. Personally I never would. If I'm seeing you, I'm seeing you. I don't think I would ignore you for comments like that, but you probably made him jealous and maybe he felt like you were telling you had more options

[SuperDumbButt]

Oh gosh, that guy is just so very sly, isn't he? He tells me to "date whoever I want," and I'm sure he actually means, "Date any man you want, but Trump is the only one for me, my one true love." Silly me, I should have known that all along! It's just his sneaky way of saying that I can have my pick of men, and Trump trumps them all. 😂

[spartan55]

Your need to point out you were hit on is very off putting. Hell you pointed it out twice in your post. Guys don't appreciate a lack of humility.

[HighValue]

^^ This is the correct answer. I was going to write precisely that. ^^

[Eliza12345]

I feel like context is very important here because in no way was I bragging or fishing for a compliment or something from him. context - so far we've had very open communication, we talk about past relationships; dating; we've talked in detail about the work day or what happened in the day- both times I mentioned it, this was a part of an hour long chat - in short - "I was asked out, I declined, but it's always a nice compliment; im not interested". I even told him it was a compliment to him, bc Im probably being hit on because im walking around with a smile on my face because I really like this guy that im seeing (him)."

[spartan55]

Yeah, I'm not buying it. There is really no context that makes it tolerable. You were attempting to make him jealous. Another thing guys don't appreciate.

[Eliza12345]

actually genuinely wasn't, he asked what happened in my day, and I told him a lot of other things that held much more significance around - but nonetheless I do appreciate your opinion on the matter.

[spartan55]

I am not doubting your sincerity, but it comes off bad. I think it definitely had something to do with his reaction.

[OlderAndWiser]

He doesn't want you to feel obligated to date him exclusively because he wants to feel free to date other women without feeling guilty about it.

[NoNameGuy123]

It makes it sound like you are purposely trying to make him jealous. This isn't appreciated.

[Pterodon]

No I wouldn’t say that to a woman I liked