Talking on the phone for 4-5 hours at a time, what is going on (we're both in mid-30s)?

[Anonymous]

I met him on a language exchange app and been talking for about 4 months. He's Japanese and I'm Latina. I help him with English and he helps me with his native language. He is highly intelligent, and I am multilingual. We somehow end up talking for hours and I feel if we had no work we'd talk more. It is never ever flirty, only about experiences, life, history, language, society... He seems to enjoy the talks and we laugh a lot, like hysterically! I started developing a very strong crush... but he had mention that he wasn't interested in having friends and wanted to be alone (he told me he is a-romantic and a-sexual but he said he wasn't entirely sure). The reason for the latter has to do I think with some terrible experiences in his life... but I am struggling! I thought of stopping our talks but I love them and learn a lot. I enjoy his laugh.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like you've developed a deep and meaningful connection with this person through your shared interests and conversations. The extended phone calls suggest a strong bond and mutual enjoyment of each other's company. While it's natural to develop feelings in such a situation, it's important to respect his boundaries and the preferences he's expressed regarding relationships. It's commendable that you're considering his feelings and experiences in this situation. If you're struggling with your feelings, it might be helpful to explore other ways to cope, such as focusing on the friendship and the value it brings to your life, while also seeking support from friends or a therapist to navigate your emotions. Ultimately, only you can decide what's best for you in this situation, but maintaining open and honest communication with him about your feelings and boundaries can also be helpful.

[Asker]

Thank you, this is very kind and realistic...

[Asker]

And of course I respect him very much and his boundaries.

[Iron_Man]

Sounds like you have potential with this guy. Does he live close to you or in Japan

[Asker]

He lives in Japan. What makes you think that though? Even if he said he is asexual/aromantic...

[Iron_Man]

Because you talk so long every day

[Iron_Man]

Besides, people are confused, and they change their mind

[Asker]

Yes, this is true... thank you for your insights!

[Iron_Man]

You’re very welcome

[Avicenna]

Well, if you're enjoying the convos, why stop?

[Asker]

Haha, because I'm getting feelings and I am of course respecting his boundaries. I wish I could turn off the crush.

[Avicenna]

It'll go away eventually. I have one on my boss right now.

[Asker]

Thank you. I needed to read that! I'll be doing my best lmao

[Avicenna]

You're welcome- who knows, maybe he'll become a good friend

[butterly248]

It's cute 💜

[Asker]

Yeah... do you feel based on my message that he might like me? Ahhhh :(

[butterly248]

Possibly :)

[Asker]

Swoon... 😰