Why didn’t he ask how I was?

[Anonymous]

I asked how he was and he replied with “good” and then just looked at me with an awkward smile as he touched his hands. He didn’t ask how I was but that’s okay. Though does he just not care?

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm, that does seem a bit odd that he didn't ask how you were doing too after you asked about him. Could be a few different things:

- He may have been nervous or awkward in the moment and just didn't think to reciprocate the question. Some guys aren't great at casual conversation.

- It's possible he doesn't actually care that much how you are personally and was just giving a brief, polite response without engaging further.

- On the other hand, some people aren't used to asking follow up questions in a conversation. So he may have taken your asking as the end of the exchange without thinking to carry it on.

I wouldn't automatically assume he doesn't care, but it is a yellow flag that he didn't seem curious to know how you were feeling too in that interaction. If it happens again in other conversations, that would suggest a bigger lack of interest on his part. For now maybe don't read too much into it, but pay attention to other signals he gives about caring what's going on in your life versus just talking about himself. His actions over time will show more than one short, random encounter!

[Asker]

He is very shy. Thank you Oliver means a lot🙏🏻

[Oliverlogan263]

Ah I gotcha, if he's shy then that definitely makes his awkward response make more sense. Shy guys can sometimes suck at conversations cuz they overthink things too much. Don't take it personally at all then. It's cool that you understand his personality. Next time maybe try smiling extra big when you talk to him so he feels comfortable. Or you could even gently tease him about being shy just to lighten the mood. Shy guys really appreciate when a girl makes them feel at ease. Keep taking the initiative to say hi and include him, that'll really help him come out of his shell with you. Seems like you're being patient with where he's at, and that's awesome of you. Hope you guys can become better friends and his shyness won't be such a barrier eventually. You got this!

[Asker]

Thank you!! Yes every time I do come up to him I always make sure to smile and lighten up the mood. Even though he didn’t ask me how I was I could tell he was nervous though afterwards he was smiling over something funny that I had showed him. Thank you for your suggestions and I really hope to too!! Take care!!

[Oliverlogan263]

You're so welcome! I'm glad to help. Aw that's great that you can tell he was just nervous and ended up smiling and laughing with you - that's a really good sign. It means deep down he does feel comfortable around you when he's not in his own head so much. Keep doing what you're doing with the smiling and putting him at ease. It really seems like you're getting through to him little by little.

I can just tell this is going to work out for you guys. Shy guys often turn out to be the most loyal and caring once they open up. Don't be afraid to make the first moves and put in that extra effort, it will so be worth it to see him come out of his shell. You got this! Feel free to hit me up anytime if you want more advice or just to let me know how things are progressing. I'm rooting for you both!

[Asker]

Hey Oliver here’s an update. He sometimes sees me walking a path that I usually walk through and from the distance I can tell that he is staring, though when I come a little closer he quickly starts looking away or simply turns to talk to his friend? And whenever I do talk to him he always seems hesitate to talk even though he is pretty talkative to his friends? I am quite confused from this behavior? And when I approach him he seems quite closed off though he does make conversation? When I talk to him at first it doesn’t seem like he cares though he warms up to me but why does he act like that and why does he look at me if he doesn’t care? Is it just because? Also this is really embarrassing but the last time that I had spoken to him I had a joke and he looked at me in utter confusion (he didn’t quiet understand) and so he probably thinks I’m just so weird😭

[Oliverlogan263]

Ugh, that is confusing behavior for sure. Let me try and make sense of it:

It sounds like he definitely notices you from a distance if he's staring like that. That's usually a good sign - he's probably checking you out! But then when you get closer he acts all shy and looks away. I'd bet money that's because he gets nervous and self-conscious under pressure. Seeing you from far away is safe, but up close makes him anxious.

Him being more open with his friends than you probably doesn't mean he likes you less. Some guys just aren't as comfortable opening up to a girl they find attractive yet. And around his friends he doesn't have to think about impressing anyone.

Even if it seems like he doesn't care at first when you talk, I'm sure that's just his shy defense mechanism. Give him a few minutes to warm up and he relaxes. Don't take it personally!

And dude, don't even worry about that joke going over his head. I'm sure he wasn't thinking you're weird - we've all had cheesy jokes bomb before. He was probably too focused on how cute you are to care!

Keep being friendly and giving him space to get comfortable. Seems clear he thinks you're great from how much he watches you. He'll come around, just gotta be patient with shy guys. Keep doing your thing and I'm sure he'll keep opening up more over time.

[Joker_]

he doesn't care about you

[Asker]

Oh..

[Joker_]

he's literally me

[Asker]

lol okay bud

[Joker_]

he's literally me (doesn't care about you)

[Asker]

Ur giving very much sped so therefore I don’t take any judgement 💗

[spartan55]

Uh... who is he?

[Asker]

Well he’s a friend but we don’t talk much though I really like him

[spartan55]

Maybe he is socially awkward.