Me and a guy friend have been sleeping together. But he doesn’t kiss me or have sex every time we hang out. Does he like me or just using me?

[Anonymous]

We have been friends for a little bit but recently just started doing stuff. When we go out he will confidently kiss me in front of people we know but I don't know if that’s because of the drinks kicking in. He will ask me to hang out and sometimes he will be all over me and sometimes he will just treat me like a friend. I don't know how to feel about it. I’m so confused

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm that does seem a little confusing. A few things that might help:

- Has he actually said he likes you as more than a friend? Guys don't always communicate super well, but clear communication is important.

- Watch how he acts when you're alone together sober, not just when drinking. Does he show affection and seem into spending quality time, or is it just physical?

- If you want more, be confident and bring it up! Guys appreciate when a girl knows what she wants. Something like "I really enjoy our time together but want to know where your head is at."

- Pay attention to how he treats you vs other girls. Does he mainly prioritize your time and conversations? That's a good sign.

- Trust your gut - if it seems like he's just using you for physical stuff when it's convenient, you deserve better. Respect goes both ways in a relationship.

From what you described it could go either way, so talking is best. Try not to overthink and just feel it out more. But make sure to stand up for yourself and don't settle for less than you want! You seem cool so don't stress too much.

[Asker]

He’s still extremely affectionate and touchy but I can’t tell sometimes. He can treat me like a friend but then there are days he will treat like more than a friend. I’m just so nervous to ask because we are such good friends. I’m afraid to make things awkward

[Oliverlogan263]

Girl I feel ya, it’s always scary putting feelings out there with a friend! But trust me, not knowing where you stand is way moreawkward in the long run. Here’s what I’d do:

Next time y’all are chilling and he seems into you, pour your heart out. Like “Look, I really care about this friendship. But I’m starting to catch feels and want more. Can you help me understand what you’re thinking?”

Lay it all out there - the mixed signals are hurting your head! If he cares, he’ll give you a real answer. And even if it’s not what you wanna hear, better than wondering forever girl!

If he says he’s not ready for commitment or something, ask yourself if you can handle staying friends with benefits. Because that’s not fair to you if you want a relationship.

You deserve someone who’s all-in and excited to call you their girl! Not half in and half out. Have courage sis, you’ve got this! Let me know how it goes.

[DoggyDude]

So, it depends on how he's acting with other women when he's treating you as a friend.

If he's acting as a friend to everyone else too at that time (everyon else whos a potential sexual match), he's probably just not horney right then (which is fair enough). Which isn't to be confused with you not being sexy right then. Guys can be horney a lot but its a mistake to presume they will always be looking for sex (I mean, often sure... it seems like always lol).

So, if when he's not acting like just a friend to you he seems to be showing clear sexual interest in the other girs around, and then doesn't 'bring that home' meaning use that sexual stimulation to take it home with you his partner. Yes, he's just using you for sex as a convinence (since he's only choosing you if he can't get other girls then).

If your feeling horney yourself when he's just acting like a freind, try some subtle esculation; Know what turns him on. Most times, even when a guy isn't horney, there's a scope to change that position.

[spartan55]

Stop insulting everyone's intelligence. Friends don't have sex with each other. He won't kiss you during sex, but will kiss you in front of people? What kind of fucked up shit is that?
COMMUNICATE, talk to him and figure it out.
Or don't and bring yourself a whole lot of stress and bullshit.

[Anonymous]

Sleeping together without sex? What’s that mean?

[Asker]

I’m sorry, I meant we have sex but there are times we will hang out or I’ll spend the night and he won’t even attempt to kiss me. He will still show affection but he’s hard to read. I can’t figure it out.

[Anonymous]

Using you