Why do men hold onto a woman for 4 years without commitment and continue to use them?

Question

like its not relationship and this not my experience just my friends and im tired of hearinf about it lol just trying to help her open her eyes

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

Because they enjoy using them , they like the convenience of her , they truly don’t value her or appreciate her , they only like what they can receive from her , Sex. Your friend is allowing herself to be used , she doesn’t value herself worth and probably has insecurities and low self esteem about herself, she allows a guy or guys’ to take advantage of her , sadly giving her a reputation that she is easy. Sadly the only way she will be able to put a stop to it , is if she decides she deserves better than the way she is being treated , and realizes she deserves better than the way she is treated , but sadly she can only be the one that decides this , As a friend you can give her advice but your advice sadly doesn’t mean shit , if she chooses not to listen to you. Some people just don’t have any common sense and make stupid decisions constantly , they will never learn until they finally realize they are only doing and allowing this to happen to themselves , She sounds very vulnerable and it sounds like she will keep being taken for granted if she doesn’t put her foot down to these guys’ or guy, that is taking advantage of her. If she enjoys being used she will keep continuing being used, because she is allowing it to occur. If you don’t like her choices in life , you have every right to walk away from her and realize she is a complete moron. Sadly people make their own decisions in life and they will continue experiencing what they are choosing until they realize in themselves that they are the problem not anyone else. She is just as wrong as these guys’ are that are taken her for granted , using her for sex and nothing more. Have a sit down talk with her and tell her your true feelings that you think she is a moron by allowing herself to be used , if she doesn’t like hearing the truth and your honesty , then end that friendship with her and let her face her consequences on her own terms , it’s no longer your problem, it’s hers.

236color · Accepted Answer

Let's be honest here, this word "commitment", marriage, that's what you mean right? "Why won't he marry me?" That's what you're asking, isn't it? Well let's look at this from his viewpoint. I supposed to pledge all of my financial assets that I currently have or everwill have, to someone that can at any point take half of them, walk away, and still require me to support her and any children we may have. Those children, which I may not have had any say in having, can be taken from me without my choice and kept from me regardless of what the court says because fathers are less important than mothers. Lastly I'm supposed to do all this for a vague promise of regular sex, which evidence shows will be decreasing rapidly after marriage. Listen, you've got to pull that off in a very short window of time, 27-31 years old. Any younger and he has no hope of affording it, any older and his testosterone level falls enough for him too see what a minefield this is. I love my wife and I'm sticking to her, but if I'm ever single again, I'll stay that way.

PeachyPie93 · Accepted Answer

They think one day he is gonna love them but seriously he been using her for 4 years it isn't ever gonna happen. He uses her because she let's him use her. He doesn't need to commit because she doesn't cut him off and lets him sleep with her when he wants to. So why would he commit when he can sleep with whoever and do whatever he wants but he can always go back to her no strings attached.

Dinklex3 · Accepted Answer

Probably because the girl makes it easy.

Chances are, she’s an adult. She’s going to make her own decisions, regardless if you approve or not. As a friend just be there for her. You don’t have to agree with everything she does, she’ll learn.

lightbulb27 · Answer

They have emotional developmental issues preventing them from being the man. Thats one reason Wonder if we have the same friend hahaha!! Yep its endless drama.

coachTanthony · Answer

why don't women leave before they waste 4 years and get used? Are these women tied up in the basement somewhere? lol

Peter_Penetrator · Answer

Marriage is a big decision to make. I did it wrong, twice, by getting married only after a year of dating.

The first marriage lasted 1 year, and the second lasted 18 years.

The second marriage was an emotional roller coaster. I stayed committed to her mostly because of me being bipolar, having a codependent personality as well as separation anxiety. I explained to my ex before we married that l was like this.

It turns out that narcissistic wives will take advantage of bipolar husbands, narcissistic step-kids will take advantage of step-dads and narcissistic in-laws will take advantage of brother-in-laws/son-in-laws.

When you marry into a narcissistic family, and are bipolar, your problems interfere with their way of life. To them, if you were raised differently, that difference is alien to them and resented.

You better give a potential spouse time for their “real” personalities to manifest.

It wasn’t even a year into my second marriage to realize the mistake l had made. By then, l was too financially committed to just leave. Had l left, my blood relatives would have had to have bury me. Parents should never outlive their kids. Luckily l found the meds necessary to survive and finally become strong enough to leave.

ProbablyClueless · Answer

Usually guys in those situations aren't doing it intentionally; they simply don't have any kind of plan and the woman comes along for the ride. For the more predatory guys; they seem to think using the woman provides some kind of benefit to the guy.

Purpleronnie · Answer

Says so much more about the woman than the man I’m afraid. She is accepting this but then moaning about it to you so she clearly thinks she is being mis-treated or at least strung along yet she does little or nothing to help herself. Seems like she is codependent as she can’t break from him and have nobody so she accepts less than

JacobJordan · Answer

Because she is giving a certain level of treatment without putting her foot down. 4 years guy should know if he plans to marry her. She needs to put her tiny little foot down

Anonymous · Answer

She thinks she can change him. It’s like a subconscious challenge to get him to commit. And she probably thinks it’s all she deserves from a man. Until a decent man shows up and turns her head. She won’t let this one go…just leave her be. She has to figure it out on her own.

Breanna_nonbinary · Answer

Why do women do the same thing? Is because they’re not ready? The question you ask is rooted in stereotypes. The answer is because they’re not ready. If they aren’t willing to commit then really that’s a discussion they need to talk about with each other and not involve a third party. You’re best to just stay out of it and encourage her to just talk to him. That’s it.

Pohjolan · Answer

Use them? If they didn't like being in a friends with benefits arrangement then why get in one?

Look statistically the majority of men seek a long term committed relationship.

Tell them not to complain about having chicken nuggets on their plate when they are the ones who filled it at a buffet.

Anonymous · Answer

Well first you have to put the blame where it belongs. Your friend has a brain and chooses not to use it. That is the real problem.

If it were me I'd tell your friend, "look I care about you, I always will, but I can't be a party to your self destructive behaviour any longer". And then walk away.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Some guys are users and some women want to be used.

Nikki1989 · Answer

Using women is what some men do best. You have to dig a little deeper to find a man that is beyond that.

DreamLife7 · Answer

Because like a dummy u stay for 4 years lol. He just used you because his dream girl wasn't available

sheikalana · Answer

Because the woman is allowing this situation to go on.

FunkyMonkee · Answer

Never heard of that. Why do women SAY they'll commit and then back out shortly after and claim they NEVER said they committed?

dustybiker2 · Answer

Why do woman allow them to? They can end it just as easily, no?

Joshydavid25 · Answer

Well because the women let it go on like that.. Either you let him know you don't want commitment or you take the hard route and get outta there with some dignity..

LiamJHayden · Answer

No complicated. He's a jerk and she allows him to do so.

Squatting_Slav · Answer

Because he's got options and isn't invested into her in the first instance for the long haul

jshm2 · Answer

The same way you can keep an old beater car for 4 years without buying another one.  Why spend your own dime when you have little need?

David94358 · Answer

He either doesn't want to get married or he doesn't want to marry her but the sex is good so he keeps the relationship stagnant

slatyb · Answer

Why do women waste years with men who don't commit?

SolitarySolace · Answer

She can leave whenever she wants to. Why doesn’t she? What does that say about her?

OtterMan68 · Answer

she's put herself in that position. If she wants out, she'd be out

genericname85 · Answer

Simple: cause the woman lets them get away with it.

KrakenAttackin · Answer

Because he is a Chad Thundercock and she is addicted to his schlong.

Sharkstealth · Answer

Maybe domestic partner stuff and not having to deal with prenuptial. Not willing to commit.

PrettyCrumblBb · Answer

Cos they're bad men that want to use women. She tolerates his bad behavior.

Pinay_ako · Answer

Because they can.

LazerBean · Answer

For the easy sex and free housekeeping.

laly520 · Answer

why doesn't she leave

WhitneySnow · Answer

They like the sex?

OddBeMe · Answer

Why do you let us? Supply/demand

jahaims · Answer

Because they are dumb enough to get used

Slim57 · Answer

Why do the women let them?

BarryLiverstone · Answer

He likes what he has

war_daddy · Answer

for the sex

Why do men hold onto a woman for 4 years without commitment and continue to use them?

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Why do men hold on to women they don’t want to be in a relationship with?

Why do men hold onto a woman for 4 years without commitment and continue to use them?

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Why do men hold on to women they don’t want to be in a relationship with?

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