Why are guys reluctant to talk about marriage?

Question

What's so bad about it that you ignore questions when it comes up or refuse to downright talk about it? Especially if you've been with your girlfriend for nearly a year or more.

And especially if you've already brought it up drunk and sober that you want to marry the girl and asked for her ring size sober.

Still-alive · Accepted Answer

Have you ever gotten his general views on marriage before? If not maybe instead of asking how he thinks of marriage with you just ask him generally what they are.

the thing about marriage for a lot of guys is its just a very frightening aspect spending the rest of your life with someone else. Try to not take it too personally but we need to feel more than 100% sure you are the right choice for them. he's been with you this long so you got that going but he may need much more time to not just think about but feel it too.

for me personally im one of those that thinks the longer you live together not married the easier it will be to take that extra step and make it official. Cause lets say 2-3 years passes and you’re still together and happy. At that point getting married seems like a no brainer.

anyways id say for now try to get his general attitude on marriage. He at least know you’re thinking about it so if you just allow him the space to bring it up to you himself later i think that would go better. Because otherwise he likely feels a little pressured. Hope this helps

lightbulb27 · Accepted Answer

It involves commitment and loss of control, which echos into ones self worth. If training was bad, it shuts down the system. ever ctrl-alt-del your computer?

It's really an issue in self worth, hopes, dreams... controlled by training, fear, trauma, and oaths. What you are running into in his psyche is emotional damage which with patience, can be navigated. my wife was able to get through with me. Every other woman was a bug hitting my windshield.

Static_In_The_Attic · Answer

As for me when it come to marriage I have never been married & if truth be told I don’t want to get married & nowadays I’m not stupid enough to get married either.

Marriage is like a hurricane there is a lot of blowing in the beginning & when it’s all said & done your house is gone. Like a ticking time bomb the second you say I DO say goodbye to half of your shit down the road & if truth be told I rather say yes to a firing squad than say yes to marriage nowadays.

To me there are no benefits to getting married & from what I have seen & from what I have heard from other people the bond is much stronger when you are just in a relationship without marriage.

Divorce Lawyers Love When People Get Married!

CalmUntilAbused · Answer

So... "Nearly a year or more"? Up until 3 years, all talk about marriage is pure recklessness. The hormone-induced infatuation lasts for about 3 years, so a decision to get married that's made during these 3 years is a highly irresponsible one, as it's impossible to actually evaluate Your future partner rationally while under the influence of said infatuation.

Next up... What kind of "marriage" are we talking about? If it's about the state-sanctioned parody of a marriage, it's basically a prolonged suicide for the man getting married, so only an insane or already suicidal man would actually consider it. He might have gotten a bit out of line while having a really good time with You and thus he might have mentioned "marriage", but that only means he was high on dopamine and/or endorphines at that moment. If it's about the true, traditional, purely Catholic (or otherwise religious) marriage, he might have intended to assess Your own opinion on the matter and collect these data about Your ring size far in advance. While the true, traditional, purely Catholic marriage is beneficial for both parties involved, making such a decision during these first 3 years is still irresponsible, so I wouldn't expect Him to mention the topic until this "demo mode" ends.

Mr_twoface · Answer

Marriage is a commitment and that may be the reason for some men. It may relate to concerns about losing personal freedom, fear of the responsibilities that come with marriage, or anxiety about being able to fulfil the role of a husband. In some part of the world, it expected the men to bare most of the cost. Whilst in others its shared equally. That may be a reason many men are reluctant to talk about the subject. Concerns about being financially stable enough to support a family or the economic responsibilities that come with marriage can make some hesitant to discuss it. Sometimes if a man has witnessed difficult divorces or unhappy marriages, either personally or through family and friends, it might make him more cautious about entering such a commitment. Other times, it may be due to different priorities at a certain stage in his life, like focusing on a career, personal development, or other personal goals that he feels might be compromised by marriage.

Most importantly though I believe most men might find it more challenging to express their feelings and thoughts about such a significant topic, especially if they feel are not yet ready to decide.

I for instance was clear with anyone I dated until I turned 30 that I wasn't ready to marriage and didn't want to talk about the topic in great details. I had a bucklist I wanted to accomplish which included get a degree, own a flat, and have a fulltime job, that no matter how much I expressed I loved someone, I didn't want to settle down.

Miristheiss · Answer

A lot probably don't want to marry. Only the naive men of the west aren't aware of the divorce laws. Women getting automatic sole custody of kids and getting the house instead of 50/50 joint custody and the men have to pay alimony and child support.

Women are already promiscuous and put out easily so they don't have to marry women to get access to sex.

Commitment, vows, honor, loyalty, devotion are outdated concepts and a woman can divorce on any whim. As soon as she "falls out of love" and gets bored after 5 years or so she can just divorce and financially rape the guy because they crossed paths and were together for 5 years out of her 30 years of life or so.

No fault divorce is the norm so even if he catches her cheating red handed she still gets her financial payout from the marriage.

A marriage is a LEGAL CONTRACT with the state and the courts oversee his job, finances, his 401K, his property etc. when she decides to leave and judges tell him how much he is ordered to hand to her and to keep working and paying alimony even after they've gone their separate ways.

Guys, should just keep dating their girls and not sign this idiotic contract. Or have a 100% religious ceremony and make religious vows that does not involve the state or government.

aceleon · Answer

marriage: loss of freedom and private life, unwanted burdens and responsibilities, burden of trusting someone, the demands of commitment, going against our nature to have sex with as many girl as we can for the sake of keeping one.

isn't this enough reason to not liking the idea?

Anonymous · Answer

Marriage has no benefits for guys. They lose everything while getting a girl that's been with other guys before and in the marriage sex goes away and potential for her to divorce whenever she gets bored destroying him and taking his kids away.

ProbablyClueless · Answer

I know that I'm reluctant because I don't want to give the woman I'm talking to the wrong idea.

If I don't have immediate plans to ask for your hand, I don't want to say and do things that would give you the impression that that's what I'm planning to do.

Sameone · Answer

my dear. Mariage is more. Hard for man not like women You will not spending any thing You will life as house wife but he have to work 50h in week or more ... And a lot of responsibility for him

DextroShade · Answer

There are two main reasons:

1. Most modern aren't wife material due to high body counts, sex work, and being indoctrinated with feminist ideology. They won't submit, cook, or clean.

2. Marriage as it currently practiced in the West is a very bad deal for men: a man can marry a woman who cheats on him and gets pregnant with the other guy's kid and the husband will still lose half his stuff and be forced to pay alimony and child support.

msc545 · Answer

Why? Divorce, alimony, child support, loss of our children, unfair treatment in divorce courts, loss of our property, metoo, false accusations - and a lot more. Only suicidal or stupid men get married.

BonzoInBitburg · Answer

There is no advantage for a guy to be married. Anything we can accomplish married, we can accomplish while we are single and not risk losing half through divorce

LazerBean · Answer

Because those particular men aren't interested in marriage at the moment.

Vegasrunner · Answer

Marriage is a terrible proposition for men. Most intelligent guys avoid the subject all together. I mean as a woman what tangible benifit A MAN gets from marriage an you'll get no answer

jamesgoldman · Answer

Seen enough wedding bands on my scales to tell me a lot

RHK36 · Answer

Because I guess those are the guys you surround yourself with 🤷🏻‍♂️

Jennz6 · Answer

I don’t want to be married

eagle1951 · Answer

we don't want to go there till were ready

Alex-Snow · Answer

It depends on their age and their maturity

jahaims · Answer

Nearly all negatives for the male

KrakenAttackin · Answer

Your feminist sisters killed marriage.

NathanDavis · Answer

I never have

Why are guys reluctant to talk about marriage?

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