Girls, He stopped the communication and now we’re in no contact. Should I wait or reach him out first?

[hellobeazhh]

I've been so overwhelmed with the guy i met from tinder when im on my vacation in Canada. The first time i met him, he was soooo affectionate and lovely. We had lunch and chit chat for an hours, he paid my lunch, he initiated to held hands when we walked around, but there's nothing sexually happen since i’m not into hookups. But i noticed there is one moment that he tried to kiss me but he's kinda afraid to do that because i seems uninterested with it. Then a week later, we met up again for the last time before im going back to my country. We had lunch, fun chit chat, walk around, holding hands, and he is so lovely. One moment, he took a second try to kiss me, but i denied it because i dont love him yet and its weird for me to kiss a stranger, i mean, its just too quick for me. and suprisingly he is so patience with that. he understands me and not forcing me at all. And he is still lovely. He even told me to promise him to not lose contact when im back to my country and told me we will meet again one day. After the dating ends and im going back to my country, were still in contact. He still updates me, i updates mine. He even told me that he misses me and always thinking about me.

One day, were in no contact for a weeks but he came back. he's sorry that he is so busy. We text again, but not really intense with his late replies. But a couple weeks later, he doesn't seem to initiated to extend our chat. I’m the last one that reply the text, and he's completely silent. He doesn't even ask what im up to, or what I've been doing. I know he's very busy but he just suddenly changed.

Why does this happen? We both have strong chemistry and we’re very much connected even we only met 2-3 times. He even told me that im his soulmate. But now he’s gone. Now its more than a month no contact with him. Should i keep silent or reach him out? He said dont lose contact, and he said i can text him anytime, but i have pride and ego too since he left me on read. What should i do?

[SueShe]

The problem with guys in that age group is that they tend to lose interest very quickly when they realize that the girl they are physically interested in is not willing to fornicate right away.

Now that you are back to your country, wherever that may be, he realizes that he will no longer have that opportunity. Also, he sees no point in continuing a long distance relationship because in most cases, it leads nowhere.

Also, those dating sites are actually nothing more than hooking up sites. You being on there led him to believe that you were into this kind of deviant activity. Somehow, it is as if you lied to him by not wanting to copulate right away.

Your best option is simply to let this failed attempt die out. Do not contact him first as he clearly has lost interest in you.

[hellobeazhh]

Wow, yes ur right. Maybe im just too innocent to understand what dating apps for (i wish to find a lover, not a lusty people and yep i was in a wrong place😅). It kinda shocked me too because the before we meetup, we talked on text very casually like a friend, no flirting on the chat too. And he said nothing about hookup. So at first i thought he won’t do that to me or wouldn’t be too rushy on being intimate.

On the other side, i knew that we can't put high expectation towards the guy we met on dating apps, moreover, if they lives in different country.

The only thing that makes me disappointed is his behavior that showing me that he loves me, he is okay that im not into hookup thing, he telling me that he wants to see me again, he misses me, he wanted to keep in touch, promising me not to lose contact eventhough he knows that he probably still can’t have what he ‘wants’ because i’m strict, but well it ended that he's the one that cut off our connection.

At least i’ve learned something from it. Dont trust man’s sweet talk.

[SueShe]

I am truly sorry for you. Some people are indeed smart talker and know how to take girls by their feelings.

Give it some time and see if he is trying to contact you but always be on your guard. Good luck.

[hellobeazhh]

Thank you!! Yes, i’ll let the time tell and reveal everything. If one day he come back, i’ll let my door open. But if he doesn’t, simply he’s just not mine and not belong to me. Nothing to loose. 💙

[SueShe]

Thanks for the MHO and good luck.

[DeeDeeDeVour]

Don't prolong your agony waiting around.

Take the initiative to get clarification or give your closure.

[hellobeazhh]

I wish i can do that, but since he rejected me, didn't reply and doesn't text me anymore, it made my pride grow so much bigger to be the first one to reach out. I dont wanna show up like im still thinking about him and feel bothered during the no contact by asking the clarity about our relationship out of the blue, because after all of this time he seemed like he’s unbothered with the no contact (and i also wanna mirror his action about being unbothered).

I know its complicated to be me lol i wish i can just be more straightforward. I’m also worried if one day i take courage to reach him out first, then he's actually already in a relationship with someone else. I would be so embarassed.

[Anonymous]

Don't waste your time with men from Tinder. You will soon regret it.