My drunk friend said he wants to die?

[Anonymous]

He said he doesn't have a reason and motivation to stay alive. Should I get concerned?

[genericname85]

ok so just cause someone talks about killing themself doesn't mean they are suicidal.

here's questions you should get answers to if you wanna know what you're dealing with:

1: are they talking about killing themself?

2: have they actually informed themself about possible means to kill themself?

3: how often do they actively think about killing themself. are these thoughts persistent and intrusive?

4: do they have a specific plan on how to kill themself?

5: do they have the access to the ressources necessary to follow through with their plan kill themself.

6: have they tried to kill themself in the past

7: are they in a depressive state of mind? like do they sleep enough? are they stressed, emotionally unstable or seem off?

If not all these things are met to a degree, i think you don't really have to worry. here's a quick and dirty question you can ask: why haven't you killed yourself yet? what's keeping you from it? what is it that keeps you going? if he has no answers to any of that, i'd probably inform the rest of their support structure.

[Asker]

He's suffering from depression and he has failed suicide attempts in the past

[genericname85]

ok in that case i would say your top priority should not be to try and keep him from doing it. in that case your top priority should be to do whatever is in your power to reduce the impact on YOU "if" he actually does it. if i was you, only then would i even start thinking about what i can do for them. because at the end of the day everyone is responsible for their own actions. and if he decides to kill himself and you're not prepared, you can get mentally fucked quite badly.

make sure you're mentally prepared for it happened. then from that place of mind, you can actually be effective in helping him. because his life is not in your hands at all. it's in his hands. and you can't necessarily have an influence on his decisions.

[genericname85]

like you have to learn to accept the fact that he may kill himself before you can help.

[genericname85]

may i ask what his suicide attemts were? like you can somewhat gage if they did it for the attention or if they actually did want to end it from their failures.

[Asker]

He swallowed pills when he was 12, cut his wrist when he was 15 and tried to hang himself when he was 19. He was saved when he was 12 and 15 and the rope was ripped while he did it so he failed again

[genericname85]

did he kit his wrist perpendicular to the arm or parallel to the arm?

[genericname85]

cut not kit xD wtf.

[Asker]

I don't know any more detail sorry

[genericname85]

tbh these sound a lot like "cry for help" type deals and not a lot like "i seriously wanna end it" type deals.

[Asker]

If a person says he want to die, it's kinda a call for help

[genericname85]

well it can be. but can you realisticly help? like my approach to suicidal people is somewhat psychopathic. i detach my emotion and treat them as if they already did it. from that place of mind i feel like i can focus on just pointing out to them that their solution for their problems is stupid and help them get a different outlook. maybe i'm wrong. i'm no professional. but that's how i dealt with it in the past and knock on wood, i haven't lost anyone yet.

[NamerOfStars]

Yes- but talking to him about it directly may not be the right way to go. Without knowing the details of his personality and your relationship, I can't say- and frankly, even if I did, I probably couldn't.

If you're unsure of what to do, it's very likely to safe to approach it from the opposite direction- start showing, rather than telling, him that life has its positives. Bake him some cookies, or invite him along to a local volunteering event. Helping someone else makes you feel better about yourself, and that can put you in a better mindset to address your own problems.

[Agape93]

Yeah

Depression is astoundingly dark when you get to the point of suicidal thoughts. You don't see a light at the end of the tunnel. You don't see hope. You feel completely worthless, that its better to die.

[Abbycado]

Yeah, because he is clearly not thinking straight if drunk and who knows what he is capable of. I’d be worried.

[Anonymous]

yes, I have also this feeling sometimes, it would be nice just to end it but you have to think of the hurt you do to those caring for your and near you

[Ms_Facesitter]

Yes that's very concerning. Talk to him about it when he's sober.

[YevBor]

You should be careful with this. Some motivation and support can cause exactly opposite result. Don't overpress him, and let him fay his own way out of depression.

[FlyerMan]

Yes you should be concerned. Does he have family or lives alone?
I would be looking out for him if he feels like this and try ask what is wrong.

[Asker]

We stay in university dorm, and he has roommates. But I know that he doesn't tell his family about his mental problems. He just keeps drinking and I asked why he does it. He said "i drink to disconnect from the real world. Real world is a hell for sensitive hearts, dear"

[FlyerMan]

In that case I would go and tell the university about this. They should have a mental health / student support department. This needs to be followed up on.

[Anonymous]

Yes, do your best to get him some help. You can Google suicide hotlines.

[boggboss]

If u care about him being alive yeah

[ab2shifty]

Yeah I’d be concerned

[Anonymous]

Get a Life insurance policy on him.