My ex wants to kill himself..

[Anonymous]

Hes always depressed since we split up, and I'm worried to the point where I'm crying every night worrying about him because he told me he didn't want to be alive. He tells me this consistently, almost every day.

I still love him and he knows it, an he wants me back as well..he says it would make him happy again. For reasons of my own however, I cannot get back with him..it's ripping him apart how lonely he is and I feel terrible.

I know this isn't my fault, but I still want to help him to be happy again. I have considered getting him counseling, but am pretty sure he would only see that as a punishment and he wouldn't even try it.

There are many reasons for his desire to end his life..I won't get into that unless you pm me, but I'm worried beyond belief..I need to know what to tell him..Without giving him a false hope

[TheGodEmperorLeto]

1) Why'd you break up with him if you both still love each other? O.o that confuses me.

2) Sorry to be mean, but he's sounding like a bitch. ya, I've dealt with a lot of depression and loneliness (still do), but you have to be strong and rise above it. I honestly doubt he'll kill himself. He sounds more like he's doing it for attention. It sounds more he's trying to guilt you back into the relationship. Tell him he needs to work on his problems as you work on yours or whatever it is that made you break up. Tell him if he can be stronger and focus on something productive, that will bring him happiness.

I hope this helps :\ I don't like being mean, but I can't stand when someone is being such a bitch. Mostly cause I couldn't stand it in myself when I was younger. Sure I still have problems, but I focus on what I can work on and I work on it. I keep an open mind and an open eye for companionship, but I can't control other people. And I'm certainly not going to take the cowards way out. besides, I have such an interest in seeing how this world will turn out, who knows what death holds. If there is an afterlife where I could watch what goes on, neat. But there might not. I'd rather go with what I know, and I know that while I'm alive I can see how the world unfolds for sure.

[PHILR]

the only thing I could say is that ,tell him you loive him but not as a boyfriend but as a very close friend who you'd do almost anything for?(except get back with him at present?) he's still have you in his life but just not as his girl . one way of getting him over you is another girl . maybe you could accidentally set him up (without his knowledge) with someone you may know that may have shown interest in him in the past or even now. or maybe if (being a girl watch other girls body language when they are around him ) to see if you spot someone that way for him then encourage that girl to approach him.

[MissedConnection10]

Getting back with him is not the answer.

I had an ex who used suicide as a way to get me back. I did and I resent it.

Stay in contact with him, keep telling him you care a/b him, that you can be friends.

Counseling is not punishment; some people are more prone to depression and think suicide is a legitimate answer. He may need to go through a few counselors to find the right one for him.

If he has *many* reasons to end his life, being in a relationship is the last thing he needs. He needs to work on himself and his issues. What is his relationship with his family? Does he have friends? If you think you can, you may need to tell someone else, just one other person, so that you don't have to carry the burden all by yourself. In the extreme, the authorities can be contacted because he is a threat to himself.

I was suicidal after my ex-fiancé and I broke up. It wasn't because I wanted to get back with him even though I thought that would help...it was because I couldn't picture my future...my future had been "planned" and it was gone...or so I thought. So, maybe talking a/b his future and good things he can look forward to.

PM me if you want talk a/b it more and need to bounce ideas off.

[helpingjessie]

TheGodEmperorLeto is right. I've had a suicidal person who was my best friend and no, he didn't die but we're not as close right now. but when he was suicidal my dad noticed me crying about my friend and he told me there are 2 types of "suicidal" people. 1) the ones who really want to die. they most likely will stay silent about it and actually do it unexpectedly. 2) the ones who are depressed and want attention for some comfort but it won't help them.

before anyone thinks that I don't know what I'm talking about when it comes to suicide, years ago I had suicidal thoughts and was one of the quiet ones that just wanted to die to escape the pain, thankfully I snapped out of it and decided it was bad from the start. I agree with my dad to a certain degree but there are also people who will tell you because they want help desperately, they just don't know how to go about it so they end up attempting anyways.

i highly recommend the counceling idea even though he may see it differently. remember that to truly love someone is when you do whatever you need to do for the other person's well-being whether they like you for it or not.

[CrayonBox]

Threatening his own life because you won't get back together with him should fire off some warning signs. That's not a very healthy emotional approach to anything, and the burden you carry makes it worse. The best advice I can give is to contact his family, speak to them and let them know what's going on. God forbid they actually do something ridiculous and try hurting themselves, you won't only feel worse, he'll be hurt and might try it again. Has he ever acted the same way if you guys ever argued? Maybe its this type of behavior that is stopping you from getting back with him.

[BluMac81]

You are right not to date this man, his mental state is not capable of handling a relationship. Perhaps if you mention this to him, tell him that if he gets help for his depression, then maybe, possibly, you would get back together with him. I know at first he will see it as a punishment, but that's typically how most healing in mental health issues start, with the person kicking and screaming. Eventually, though, he'll thank you for making him seek help, and you won't be bound to be in a relationship with him because through therapy, he will grasp new perspectives, one of which will be yours, and if he truly loves you, he'll realize that his constant talk of depression and suicide is hurting you, and will then only want to be with you when he's mentally stable. That's if he actually loves you, if otherwise, either just be friends or cut him out of your life.

[kentpaul]

So... you dump him and he tries to tether you to him by blackmailing you with suicide? Let him die... He doesn't deserve to live.

All right, just joking, but it's really a cheap move on his part and you shouldn't fall for it. You left him for a reason. If you feel guilty, call 911 and tell them that he's threatening to end his life. They'll take him to psychiatric emergency and evaluate him and decide whether he needs to be hospitalized short-term or see a therapist... but you shouldn't have to do anything more than that, especially not get back with him.

[mikenice8]

If I were you this is what I would say:

Killing yourself is not the answer and it won't help but only make things worst. Picture your mom or dad crying over your casket, what good would that be. I still love you just not in a relationship way anymore. I know it hurts but in time things will be better and you'll find someone probably better than me and everything will be ok.

[HunterFromCanada]

Get him to see a counselor! Or talk to one yourself to see what you can do to help him. If it gets worse get someone to talk to him. Break-ups are hard on everyone and people will be upset about them, but talking about suicide is a major red flag that he may need some help.

[prettiestwreck]

Leave him alone ,Let him learn how to live without you .