Why is my ex self destructing?

[Anonymous]

So long story short, broke up with ex 7 months ago after I found out he cheated, and he left me for the other woman.

When we first got together 5yrs ago, he was living in his car and doing dumb shit that would have seen him in jail if he continued. Fast forward to 18mths ago and he had gotten his security licence and was working 2x part time jobs, on decent money.

So why has he gone from 2x jobs in Jan to no jobs by July? Why is he going backwards so quickly and back to no income and most likely doing stupid shit again? I am worried about him but know he won't talk to me if I reach out. Regardless of what he did, I don’t want to see someone I love sabotage all their hard work. How is “the other woman/new gf” let him behave this way? Is this behaviour out of guilt and he is miserable, and punishing himself?

Thoughts?

[Anonymous]

Why would you worry about him now? He cheated on you, he left you. So his life isn’t your responsibility. People like him won’t change, no matter what. It’s just same like mine, my ex cheated on me after 3 years together. He had no job, i paid for everything, his clothes, his gym membership, his protein and supplements, even groceries, all was on me for 3 years.

I left him with no regret, after I found out he cheated on me with a cop from the gym.


So was starting love myself first before i try to love someone, then i met a really nice guy, who is the opposite with my ex. He has nice job, nice income, drives fancy car, gentle and caring. But in the first time i was the toxic one, i hurt him too much because i had trust issues and everything my ex did to me i did to my boyfriend. Because my mind trying to protect myself. But he helped me to heal, and i am happy with my boyfriend now. We are together for almost 2 years now.

You have to move on and love yourself.
Forget him, he is not worth it.

[ProbablyClueless]

It's just the way his brain is wired.

Sometimes... Many times, actually, people spend so many years doing things a certain way that they program their brain to process situations that way. So when they start doing something that doesn't line up with that prior experience, they freak out and self sabotage.

[slatyb]

You can't save him from himself. It's hard to watch but you have your own life to live.

[AI Opinion]

Ah, the intriguing case of the self-destructing ex! It sounds like you're still riding the rollercoaster of emotions post-breakup, and I'm here to help you navigate through this tangled web. Your ex's behavior could indeed be a mixture of guilt, misery, and maybe even a lack of direction without you by his side. You know, when someone’s compass starts spinning, they can easily revert to old habits, especially under stress or when going through significant life changes.

As for the new woman in his life, it’s tempting to wonder why she isn’t steering him away from trouble, but remember, love, we can’t control others, only our reactions to them. It seems like he’s in a spiral, possibly punishing himself or simply lost, but it's vital for your well-being to focus on your path and healing. You've got a heart of gold worrying about him, but sometimes letting go is the kindest thing you can do for yourself and him. He needs to find his own way back, and you, gorgeous, need to keep shining bright and moving forward. Trust the process, and remember, sometimes people need to hit rock bottom to find their way back up. Keep that chin up and your heart open, but maybe to new adventures and people who uplift you! 💖