My ex is threatening to kill himself. What do I do?

[emmyvander]

Two months ago, I broke up with my now-ex boyfriend due to some emotional and sexual abuse. We stayed close friends, and I continued to spend time with him, talk to him, and help him through issues he was having. Since then, I have started hanging out with someone new who makes me very happy and builds me up. I want to wait to have a relationship, however, because even though I have no romantic feelings for my ex, I know I need to give myself time to recover and be independent. This new boy asked me to prom (I said yes), and although I wanted to keep it under wraps because my ex is fragile, word got out and he heard about it. He came forward and confessed that he loves me, but I rejected him. Now, he is threatening to kill himself if I don't end things with this new boy. He says that I can choose to continue to see this guy and "force" him to kill himself, or end things with this guy and save his life. I know that the issue isn't me or this boy; it's my ex. I told the school counselor and both of our parents everything, but I don't know how to handle this stress. Of course I value my ex's life over any relationship I have, but I know that I can't let him manipulate me like this. What do I do?

[BlueFire876]

Him threatening to kill himself if you don't do what he wants is just another form of manipulation. You are not responsible for what he decides to do at all. Abusers often threaten to kill themselves as a tactic to make the victim feel guilty so that the victim will do what the abuser wants them to do. He is still trying to control you and keep you from living your life and being happy. The guy is an ass hole. You don't owe him anything.

www.loveisrespect.org/.../#tab-id-2

Here is a web page that lists ways in which people try to emotionally abuse other people. Notice that one of the bullet points lists "threatening to kill themselves." The website also has an amazing, free, confidential chat and a lot of very helpful information. It helped me when I was going through some stuff that sounds similar to what you describe above. I hope you check it out :-)

Good luck. I wish the best for you. Stay strong.

[Account]

I am sorry to hear that, but I truly believe that he is basically being a manipulative cunt. Ignore him and talk to his parents about the threats he's been throwing at you. He obviously needs help.

[1truekhaleesi]

If he is threatening the life of himself or others, you need to call police.

[Alessus]

You don't concern yourself with your ex's life, that's what. He is free to choose death, but you just need to understand that you are not responsible for his actions nor are you forcing him in anyway. And if he is such a pathetic weakling to threaten to kill himself because he can't stand to see you being happy with someone else, he doesn't really love you, he is doing it out of narcissist desire to be the center of your attention and out of posessiveness. Considering that his motivation, then I'd say even his threat is hollow. But even if he does kill himself, the world will be a better place for it.

[sam66270]

YOU DONT KNKW WHAT IT FEELS TO BE THE REASON SOMEONE YOU LOVED DIED. DONT. I've SAVED THE MY BEST FRIEND FROM SUICIDE. HE'LL DIE AND you'll KNOW DEEP DOWN THAT you're THE ONLY PERSON HE REACHED OUT TO AND YOU PUSHED HIM AWAY. IF YOU GET OUT OF HIS LIFE, you're NOT LETTING HIM DO WHAT HE WANTS. you're PUSHING THE TRIGGER OF A GUN POINTED TOWARDS HIM. DONT LET HIM. PLEASE DONT.

[BlueFire876]

Dude, he is probably just manipulating her. She is not responsible if he chooses to end his life.

[sam66270]

What if he's not? Maybe she'll regret listening to the one sentence you wrote rather than listening to me. You dont know how it feels. How it feels when your best friend leaves you for not letting him die and then committing suicide. How it feels to know you're just legal and already dead inside to the point you won't trust again.

[sam66270]

I can't sleep. The last time i can say i slept (means slept properly without waking up every hour) was last August. Me and my bestie were in malaysia and we ended up hugging in our sleep. You have no idea how much i miss that day. I would be ready to be tortured and be healed and be tortured again for a thousand times just to relive those 10 hours. Medicine doesn't work. Nothing helps.

[sam66270]

So my sincere advice is to do whatever the hell that guy wants even if there's a 0.001% chance he'll go through with it. Because it hurts like hell afterwards and nothing helps.

[FakeName123]

Nothing. You are not responsible. If he wants to actually kill himself, he will. With or without your help.

It is more likely though he is just trying to manipulate and guilttrip you. Just cut all contact to a toxic person like him. Get him out of your life. Ignore his messages.

[Anonymous]

see this: www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a35497-exes-they-are-ancient-history-why-even-care-or-bother

Don't concern yourself with him. Whatever he does is on him, not you.

[M2sean]

Stay well clear of this, love. He's unstable and desperate to draw you back in. There's a reason why he's your ex.

[Anonymous]

Call 911 literally every single time he threatens suicide, but DO NOT talk to him. He is trying to manipulate you.

[FelixNagle]

give him a rope and some bleach

[ryanshre]

tell him to do it he an ex for a reason

[damien04]

Fuck me and dont worry

[acronym]

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