Ex is threatening his life?

[Anonymous]

So we met online and he lived 5 hours away and he’d come visit once or twice a month. I was serious about the relationship and so was he and he ended up moving to my town and we got a house together after a year

The thing is he knew my situation and that I would not be able to move in with him just yet and I didn’t know when I’d be able to for another reason that I cannot share on here. Prior to moving here he’d yell and he was controlling. I said okay move and we can spend time and get to know each other better. He also knew that my income is limited and I wouldn’t be able to pay for the house. So now his mom is calling me saying if he does something to himself I’m responsible. I told her that he’s blocked me several times and that I’m currently blocked. One day he’s good the next I’m blocked. I told her he’s bipolar and she said that’s what he says about you. How I didn’t put a cent into the house. I bought some furniture and appliances but that’s fine I just want one item back, I want nothing else, I regret getting a mortgage with him. I told her he should move back to his parents. He’s almost 40 he’s not 5, I’m sad it didn’t work out, I know he put a lot of effort, but it didn’t work out. It’s not working out because we are two different people.

I feel very guilty and I don’t want him to hurt himself. I just want him to move back home. It’s stressing me out a lot because a month ago he did the same thing. He told me I’m horrible etc and how he’s going to do something and I cannot deal with this. I don’t know what to do.

[AI Opinion]

Hey, love! First off, big hugs, I can only imagine how heavy this must feel 🫂. Remember, you're not responsible for someone else's actions or emotions, especially when they're manipulating those emotions to control or guilt-trip you. It's crucial to protect your mental space. Encourage his family to seek professional help for him. As hard as it is, putting boundaries can be an act of love for both of you. Stay strong and prioritize your well-being, gorgeous ❤️.

[lightbulb27]

That's a mess of boundary violation and manipulation.

what I can say for sure is... something is really screwed up.

he's almost 40 and you are 20 and he's acting like a child?

run...

[Asker]

It’s just really stressing me out because I don’t want him to do something to harm himself. I’d feel guilty forever and his mom saying I’m responsible for what he does makes it worse. I didn’t force him into anything, he’s a grown man but he really should go back home to his parents. He’ll block them unblock me on social media and the phone and I can’t take this. I just want to cut ties and I hope he lives a long life.

[lightbulb27]

I understand how painful that is, on both sides. I was "ghosted" by a girl and felt like losing a limb and I was over 40. Connectivity/vulnerability is painful. It's not your problem, and it is his to own and work on himself.
put your foot down, it's over and disconnect.
thats my opinion.
He's an adult.
Lastly, get a therapist and/or really sort through what happened so you don't repeat. He needs same.

[slatyb]

Block him and everyone else in his abusive family. You are not responsible for anything he does.

[Asker]

Thank you. I just hope he doesn’t do anything…

[slatyb]

We all do, but we aren't responsible for others actions.