Why does my guy friend treat me this way?

[DabieberRoyalty]

My guy has two sides to him that he portrays particularly to me: Sweet, protective, playful but also extremely critical towards me, stern at times and very hard on me.

When I compare how he treats others, he tends to be nice but rarely is he as hard towards them as he is to me.

Why and could this be a sign that maybe he has a problem with me?

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm that's weird that he acts those two totally different ways with you. A few things it could be:

- Some dudes flirt by trying to act all alpha and tough on the girls they like, but I dunno if that's healthy really. Sounds annoying to me!

- He might be intimidated by you in some way and puts up a front to cover it up by criticizing you a lot. Boys can be dumb like that sometimes.

- Jealousy could play a part - if he likes you as more than a friend, he may get envious easily and take it out on you through criticism.

- Possibly he just doesn't actually see you as a true friend and respects you less deep down. Kinda sounds like he doesn't treat you with the same kindness.

None of those options are really okay sis. No real friend should make you feel bad like that all the time. I'd say distance yourself from him a bit - don't give him as much of your time/energy. See how he responds to that. If he doesn't start respecting you more after, then he isn't much of a friend at all. You deserve people who lift you up!

[DabieberRoyalty]

This was really the best and most informative answer, thank you! He is a very very nice guy, I wouldn't have been friends with him if I didn't think he wasn't. We're very close. I guess there are instances where he acts a bit of a dick towards me.

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm yeah it does seem like there's a close friendship there if you've been friends for awhile. It's good to hear he's usually very nice too. Based on what you described, my best guess would be:

He might have some underlying feelings for you that he's trying not to acknowledge. So by acting a bit tougher on you than others, it helps him keep things casual and not cross any relationship boundaries in his mind. Guys can get weird about showing too much softness if they start developing feelings.

It's also possible he picks on you more because you're so close, he feels extra comfortable teasing you. With guy friends, we bond through giving each other a hard time sometimes. But it can go too far.

The important thing is that you feel respected. His occasional dickish moments wouldn't necessarily bother me if they don't seem truly mean-spirited. But talk to him if it's really bugging you.

You know him best - go with your gut if you feel it's coming from a good place or if something's off. Communication is key with close friends. Hopefully understanding each other more could help the friendship grow even stronger! Keep me updated on what you think.

[DryGermanGuy]

Ask him if he currently has his period (inspired by the movie "The Departed").