Why has this guy suddenly unfriended me on Facebook and removed his likes on my Instagram pictures?

[Truthseeker83]

We flirt through Instagram messages often, ... then we bumped into eachother at an event.

We were drunk and it got very hands on n steamy, when he had to leave he said he'd call me n it was left at that.

When I got home after the event I messaged him just a little flirty message about how hot he got me that night n just thanking him for the drink he brought me too...

Since that encounter, he's read my Instagram message, didn't reply like he normally would... then a few hours later he's proceeded to unfriend me on FB and unlike my most recent Instagram pics that he originally liked 2 weeks ago... so he's gone out his way to do that after reading my message. We're both single fully grown adults, so I can very much diferate between real romantic interest, compared to just sexual tension n harmless flirting... I know he doesn't view me as girlfriend material as he would of persued me in that sense. So I'm struggling to understand his actions towards me now, after years of playful sexual tension n harmless flirting.

I don't know if I did something wrong or if he's just a horrible guy without my rose tinted glasses on. I just really want to understand his actions so I can make peace with myself cus I keep blaming n hating myself... it's knocked my confidence n I just wanna feel good about myself again.

Can anyone please shed some light on his thought process?

[DarkLegacy]

Well you choose to put out, and despite what you might say, it bothers you, otherwise you would not have set up an account on this site just to ask this question and find out. Guess what you will probably never know but it sounds like he was just using you for sex or like you was just drunk and realized he had made a mistake.

I mean how old is he, he must have made a mistake because you are 41. But what does it matter anyway, why do you need to know if you are not going to wait on him and there is nothing there.

Sounds a bit like you are just trying demonize men for something you are complicit in.

[Truthseeker83]

I told you how it bothers me in my last reply to you already... never did I say I wasn't bothered.
N I also confirmed I set up this account to ask this question as I've seen how this site has helped others with their questions...
N I've already agreed I probably won't get closure from him...
Reaching out n looking for alternative thoughts n advice on this matter is not demonizing all men though, thats being a little bit dramatic. Unfortunate in order to get the most useful advice it requires me to explain the situation... if your getting the impression I'm demonizing men because of that, maybe it's more of a case you silently dislike this guy's actions but vocally your prepared to be bias for fellow men, like yourself.
Personally I was just hoping for a bit of friendly advice, support n even constructive criticism... you don't have to be so combative. I'm happy to hear you out if your words help me, not ridicule me.

[Truthseeker83]

Oh yeh sorry I forgot to mention he's my age also.

[spartan55]

Why do women insist on 'understanding' 100% of EVERYTHING they experience? Life just doesn't work that way. He didn't like you after you met up. Maybe you are a bad kisser? Maybe it could be 1,000 other things. Do you really believe you will ever get an honest answer? Come on.

[DarkLegacy]

I have oftened wondered this

[spartan55]

It's just the way the sexes are wired I suppose. I never waste energy or emotion on something that I know is impossible to know.

[Truthseeker83]

All I'm looking for on here is insight, outside thoughts, opinions n any advice to help me in future. I understand I'll probably never get closure here, but I'd like to try n understand why the years of friendship seems to mean nothing either... n suddenly.

[spartan55]

He probably wanted to hook up for a long time and once he finally did... it didn't live up

[Truthseeker83]

We were at an event with a lot of people around so we didn't fuck in the corner or something lol. It was just close contact, a lot of Groping, neck biting/kissing... whispers of what we wanna do to eachother in private... That sort of thing.

[spartan55]

Yeah, the complete shutdown from him seems very odd here. All you can really do is hope he comes to his senses and reaches out.

[Anonymous]

He could be regretting the fact that things got physical, maybe he didn’t intend for things to go that far and he was kinda drunk at the time - so now he’s backtracking. He probably also thinks that you might be expecting something more out of the encounter.

[Truthseeker83]

If that's the case I would respect him a whole lot more if he said that... I'm not a spiteful woman, I don't cause trouble out of jealousy n I don't harbor grudges. I resent being treated like I'm irrelevant though, like I'm nothing. It's like my feelings are completely irrelevant.

[Chazmatazz269]

Only HE can explain his behavior to you. But, as would be true if the roles were reversed, he doesn’t owe you any explanation. If he wants to communicate with you, he’ll reach out. You can wait for him to do that or move on.

[Truthseeker83]

I have no intention of waiting, there's nothing to wait for... there never has been. It was just harmless albeit steamy flirting, but that's never got in the way of our 30 yr friendship before. Now I'm being treated like just some irrelevant random bird he doesn't have any history with n it's really offended n hurt me. I was just hoping for any outside point of views that could help me make peace without closure as such...

[DarkLegacy]

@Truthseeker83 so why does it bother you so much. You appear to have set up this account just to ask this question

[Truthseeker83]

@DarkLegacy oh I have set up this account to ask this question personally, although I have referred to others peoples questions on here in the past for advice... that's how I knew this site existed. So I thought I'd give it a go.
N it's bothering me cus of how long we've been friends, the embarrassment I feel over him unfriending me n the knock to my confidence this has caused. I feel so ugly right now.

[DarkLegacy]

@Truthseeker83 Knew it, im never wrong. I can read people like a book

[Billlewis]

He may be interested in another woman, and he doesn't want her to see it.

[Truthseeker83]

That's a possibility but we've been friends for nearly 30 years, we grew up together.
I'm concerned I gave him the impression I expect more than online playful flirting now, since we got more physical at this event...
If this is due to his interest in another woman though, it's kinda off putting cus he's assuming I'm going to react as immature as he seems to be acting with me now... it's really embarrassing being led on n treated like I'm still a teenager.

[Billlewis]

Yeah, that sounds dumb for someone you've been friends with for such a long time.

[Truthseeker83]

I know it's dumb, n it's weird af for someone in their 40s... I didn't think people that age still acted like that. Im so disappointed he isn't who I thought or imagined he was. In which case... what is with all these damaged single men nowadays? Life sucks sometimes lol.

[Iron_Man]

That’s because you didn’t put out 100% but that’s his problem

[Truthseeker83]

I wanna be as transparent as possible here so I get the best thoughts n advice on this matter as I can...
So, I can most definitely assure you I was game for 100% if he was. But he left early stating had work in the morning. It felt like just an excuse to leave the event but I never took it personally until he unfriended me n removed his likes from my Instagram pics...

[Iron_Man]

Well, you shouldn’t put out. Maybe there’s something else that he saw.

[Truthseeker83]

We were both drunk, n it wasn't like it was me throwing myself at him... it was kinda passionate at the time, like a moment we've both been waiting for. Then he just switched... n it's gone downhill from there.
My confusion comes from years of flirting with eachother to then the physical element at this event to now sudden ghost mode...

[DarkLegacy]

No it is not, it is her problem

[Truthseeker83]

@DarkLegacy That is very apparent, if it was someone else's problem it wouldn't be me asking the question... I get the impression your one of those argumentative types, honestly tho there's no need. You don't have to give any input if you can't or won't be of any assistance. you can happily go about your day n just ignore my question... no one will think any less of you mate.

[In_Trance]

He doesn't like you anymore

[Truthseeker83]

Is it normal for a guy to change his mind like that within a few hours?

[In_Trance]

Either something happened or he never liked you in the first place