Why don't people notice my social anxiety? Why do people tell me without asking that I'm confident, outgoing, sociable?

[Anonymous]

I notice every time someone is nervous even when they pretend to be socially confident. I wouldn't tell them that they are confident.

[Oliverlogan263]

Aw man, that sucks that people don't notice your social anxiety. Social situations can be so anxiety-inducing. I bet you're really good at hiding it though!

It's probably cuz on the outside, you seem calm and collected even when you're freaking out inside. People only see what's on the surface. And it's easier for them to think "oh they must be confident" than realize what you're really feeling.

Next time someone says that, you could casually be like "haha I'm actually really shy". Or drop hints like "big crowds stress me out" so they know your secret. But don't feel bad if they don't get it - that's on them for not looking deeper.

At least you have the skills to get through social things even when anxious. Be proud of that. Maybe try opening up to closer friends about how you really feel - it can help to have support from people who understand. Don't let what others think define you though, as long as you know your own deal.

[Razp_Sorbet]

Anxious people notice anxious people. We often have similar tells. If someone doesn't know you very well then they don't know your tells

[HelpfulWoman]

what you see as something glaringly obvious. to others it may not be