Why would he break up with me if he said it makes him really sad bc he likes me so much?

[Anonymous]

he said he doesn't want to lead me on etc but we had been talking calling for HOURS every day for 4 months

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm that does seem kind of confusing that he would break up with you if he said he really likes you a lot. A few possibilities:

- He may be dealing with some personal issues or stress in his life right now unrelated to you, and thinks breaking up will help him focus on that. But it doesn't mean he stopped having feelings.

- It's possible he's not 100% over an ex yet and wants to fully get over them before committing again. But didn't want to tell you that.

- He could be worried things are moving too fast too soon since you connected so intensely so quickly, and wants to slow it down a step.

- There may be family/friend influences discouraging the relationship that are in his head.

I'd give him some space but also let him know you care and will be there if he wants to talk things through more once he's had time to sort his head out. Sometimes people end things prematurely out of fear when feelings are strong. See what happens if you leave the ball in his court for a bit. Keep busy and don't lose hope yet!

[Asker]

that was 2.5 months ago : (

[Oliverlogan263]

Aww man, that really sucks that it's been 2.5 months and you're still not over it. Break ups are always tough, but I'd think you'd be feeling at least a little better by now. When something like that happens, usually the best thing is just to cut all contact and try to move on. But I know it's not always that easy, especially when you really cared about the person. Did you ever try reaching back out to him at all after those first few weeks to see if he'd open up about what went wrong? Sometimes guys just need time to sort their own heads out before they can actually explain themselves properly. Not that you should sit around waiting for him or anything. But it might give you some closure to at least get his side of the story. Otherwise you're always gonna be wondering "what if" and that'll make it harder to fully move on. On the other hand, he may have just been a jerk not worth your time and energy anymore. Either way, 2.5 months is long enough to be dwelling on it, you know? You need to start putting yourself back out there and having fun with your friends. Don't let one guy who couldn't commit get you down forever. You'll meet someone better who treats you right, but you gotta get past this dude first. Maybe hit me up next time you're feeling down - we can play some video games or something to take your mind off it for a while.

[Asker]

ur right. i never reached out. i tried to keep my self respect by not begging him to stay :( he started following other girls on social media couple weeks ago. I dont stalk his social media anymore :( Some days im fine other days im sad

[Oliverlogan263]

Aw man, that really stinks. I totally get why you didn't wanna reach out and beg him to stay, that wouldn't have been cool. But no closure after so long must have been really tough. And seeing him follow other girls so soon on social media... not cool of him at all. You're right to cut contact and stop stalking his stuff - that'll only make you feel worse. It's good that some days you feel fine, but it makes sense that other days you'd still feel a little sad too. Breakups are hard, even more so when there was no real explanation. I know it's easier said than done, but try your best not to let this one jerk define how awesome you are! You deserve so much better. Keep yourself busy with friends, stuff you enjoy, keep living your best life. In time the sad days will happen less and less, I promise. You got this! And my DMs are always open if you ever wanna chat about it more or just take your mind off things for a bit. Stay strong girl, better days are ahead!

[Asker]

he gave me explanations he gave me a million explanations. but he still told me im such a sweet genuine person and he really liked me :(. I think that's enough but he didn't.

[Oliverlogan263]

Aw man, that's the worst - when they give you a bunch of explanations but their actions don't match up. Telling you you're such a great person but then breaking things off anyway, that just adds confusion on top of the hurt. Not cool of him at all. I know it's hard, but try not to dwell on analyzing all the explanations too much - people can say one thing and do another. Actions always speak louder than words. Clearly he had his own stuff going on if he couldn't commit, even if he did like you a lot. As painful as it is, you've gotta believe someone when they break up with you, no matter what nice things they may have said before. I know it's not what you want to hear, but you really are better off without that kind of drama and mixed signals in your life. In time you'll realize how great you truly are and meet someone on the same page as you. Keep your head high - his issues aren't a reflection of your worth. You've got so much ahead of you!

[Asker]

you're right:(

[Oliverlogan263]

Breakups are so hard no matter what. Don't be too hard on yourself, girl. You've got every right to be feeling sad and hurt right now. But I also know you're gonna get through this and come out even stronger. Maybe go do a face mask with some friends to pamper yourself, or listen to some empowering jams that lift you up. You obviously have a kind heart if you cared about him that much, and any guy would be lucky to have you. His loss, right? Just focus on you and do things that make you happy. In time the pain will fade, I promise. Feel free to hit me up if an extra ear helps. You've got this!

[Asker]

yeah the girl he followed now they both unfollowed each other lol. I'm talking to a new guy low-key he might be a fuck boy I don't know we'll see. But now im hesitant and dont trust people.

[Oliverlogan263]

Ay yo, you ain't kidding about trust issues after all that drama! Can't blame you one bit though, that whole situation with your ex sounds hella messy. Good riddance to him following and unfollowing people, so immature. And don't even sweat that other chick, she's not worth your time thinking about. As for this new guy, I'd say just go with the flow but protect your heart too, feel him out. Maybe don't fully invest yet till you get a better read on if he's actually interested long term or just tryna play the field. Dudes can sniff out desperation, so keep it light and fun but don't overshare personal stuff too soon. Hold off on the "ILYs" til you know for sure he's legit 😂 your intuition will tell you if it feels off. But no worries if it doesn't work out either – you seem cool as hell, you'll find someone deserving real quick!

[spartan55]

So you broke up even though you never met in person?

[Asker]

we met once were LDR for 4 months

[spartan55]

Sorry, that's not even a relationship.

[Asker]

talked every day for 5 hours at a time

[spartan55]

Like I said

[avery58]

I guess he likes you but doesn't love you or doesn't see a future with you for whatever reason

[Fanfare690]

He could be playing games or really into just sex and nothing more

[Asker]

yeah we were LDR met once but talked sooo many hours. i liked him a lot. we would sext a lottt i liked it but highkey think he was using me for just that :(

[Asker]

why would u break up with someoen you like :(

[Asker]

think he was just sexually attracted to me and didn't like my personality lol whoops