We were seeing each other for 4 months and we had communication issues on both our sides. He lives an hour away so we were dependent on texting and seeing each other on weekends and we had a few disagreements via text which would escalate cos he would be quite stubborn when it came to hearing me out and being understanding and I would then get frustrated. We never had any kind of disagreement or argument in person ever. I took the break up pretty bad initially and we spent some days sorting out our differences and what the problems were, we owned up to things although he was seeming distant and standing on his side of the fence. Fast forward to today being 1 week since the breakup happened, I let him know I’ve started to work on myself internally etc. and that I didn’t want it to end it over silly disputes that happened via text which can be improved and he said he said the disagreements we’ve had in a short space of time will always be at the back of his mind.
A few hours later he said he was so overwhelmed with sadness as the breakup has finally hit him hard, he was so shocked I had started to work on myself, he’s in a weird bubble where he doesn’t know what he needs and that he had to really cry it out. (he’s never cried about anything in the past) He said he really loves and misses me so much, doesn’t want me erased out of his life, didn’t want it to end, but he’s made his mind up and says it’s upsetting him that this has broken me and has been saying sorry to me all day. We have such an amazing connection, phenomenal chemistry, so many similarities and spent a lot of time together and also became best friends in all this too, but I will respect his wishes and fully move on. Some of the reasons behind his sadness was confusing.. will ever he regret not giving things another go and losing me later on down the line?
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Awww Polly, that is a super confusing situation. On one hand, it's good that he's finally being real about how much he cares about you and is sad about breaking up. Crying doesn't come easy for most guys.
But it's also kinda messed up that he's still saying the breakup is final even though he's hit with all these emotions now. Part of me thinks he might regret it later if you're both sad now. Distance relationships are tough though, so maybe the text fights really did bother him a lot.
If I were you, I'd give him some space for his feelings to settle. Let him know you're still open to trying again someday if he changes his mind, but for now you need to heal too. Maybe in a few weeks see how he's feeling without any pressure.
Guys can be stubborn, so there's a chance once he's had more time to think it through, he'll regret walking away from something so good. But don't wait around if he stays firm on being done. You deserve someone who's sure they want to be with you. His crying is a sign he cares, but actions matter more. Hopefully he comes around, but you gotta live your life either way.
its normal to cry after breakup
not deep