I love him w/all my heart!...what do I?
I'M SORRY I KNOW MY STORY IS LONG...I NEED ADVICE, I HAVE NO ONE 2 HELP ME!
My boyfriend of 4 1/2 years broke up w/me today. Were both 22yrs old. We have a 2 year old son. I had been living w/him for the past 2yrs at his parents house. This past year was a pretty bumpy road for us. Always arguing w/each other for the stupidest reasons. He of course would always blame me for the arguing and that everything was my fault...as time went by I noticed he became heartless and just say things to me so bluntly without caring if he made me cry. Well Last week he told me that he had had enough and that he couldn't go on arguing like this..so he had a serious talk w/me and said that he thought it was time we had a "break"...from each other for a while. I agreed, of course crying. I felt like he had kicked me out of his house in a "nice" way...so the whole week went on. He would hardly make conversation w/me if any...he would just text me to see how our son was doing or if he could pick him up for a little bit. We had decided that we were gonna take turns keeping him on the weekends...so this weekend its my turn to keep him...(while he go's out I guess) I have tried to keep it together and to try not to make contact w/him but its really difficult considering that we have a son...All he told me this weekend was that he sees' that I have probably come to the point where I have realized what I've done that has gotten us in this position and he sees me hurting because I want him back. He said he hasn't reached that point yet and to give him time to feel it...He said not to think negative of this " break" because he's not trying to look for someone else...that we just need time apart. So I tried not to text him or bug him but I just couldn't help myself for goodness sake! So today he just told me that he's tired of trying so many times and not making any changes. He's completely done w/arguing and SO over it. He doesn't even want to try anymore, That he loves me and I will always b his only love...and hell never fall in love again. Then he said that why I was making it harder to let go if he was sure that I would find someone better for me because I was pretty and that I deserved better...We were both each others first loves; He also said that "at this moment I don't wanna be w/you"...so I gave him back a promise ring that he had given me when we first started to go out. He wanted me to keep it but I said no because he had broken that "promise to one day marry me"...he got upset. And we left it at that.
I'm really broken hearted and I don't know what to do or what to think. and YES this makes it even more difficult because we have a son which he'll come around and see every other day...SO WHAT DO I DO? FORGET ABOUT HIM? MOVE ON? give him time?...i never thought this would happen to me. I just hate myself because I can't stop crying. its like I have a battle with my inner self and my heart which just won't let go. This just happened day... will he come back? ugh. so numb and broken. PLEASE HELP!
Most Helpful Girl
Your story sounds similar to mine, minus the child and the living together. As much as you don't want to hear this it helped me when some one said this to me, It's time to move on. Trust me I know how hard it is, I've been there myself but eight months later and I am OK. The fact that you have a child together makes it REALLY hard to cut all ties, but by not seeing him or having anything to do with him will make it easier. The more contact the harder it will be. Ask a friend or your mom; someone you trust, to take your child to your "ex-boyfriend" so that you don't have to see him. If you can have that person keep contact with your "ex-boyfriend" so that you don't have to talk to him that would be great, if not then communicate through texting only because it is less personal and it will help you to get de-tached. Another thing to do is to journal and write down past arguments and how you felt at the time, how mad or upset it made you and why. When you start to miss him go to your journal and remember the mean things he said and how distant and heartless he acted towards you. I know you will never stop loving him and he may never stop loving you, but you guys are not "in-love" anymore and the last thing you want is to live another 4 years fighting. Comming from a personal experience you will cry, and it is ok. You will miss him and maybe be mad at him, that's ok too. But ask yourself this, did you know who you were before you met him? It will be one of the hardest thing you will do but hindsight is 20/20
Hope this helps and I wish the best for you and your child.1