Should I (40F) break up with my boyfriend (30M) bc he said he wants to move out but still continue in the relationship?

[Anonymous]

4 days ago he flipped out on me for asking if he got a call from the mechanic, my car broke down the night before. I said I’m not going to be talked to like this. We didn’t speak the whole day, the previous fight he told me to leave him alone and I like to resolve problems right away while he needs space and I didn’t give him space previously so I did this time. The next morning he literally was screaming at me bc I wouldn’t talk to him at all. He told me he wants to take a break and move out, but still stay in a relationship together. He left for his sisters and have been there ever since. I didn’t text him once until he texted me last night, fighting continued. Then talked on the phone for over 3 hrs today. He explained why he felt the way he felt. We’ve been dating for almost 2 years, living together for 1 yr. It’s my house he moved into, and he feels it’s not his house and he’s just a roommate, that I don’t appreciate him. I know he needs his space, I get it but moving out shows me he’s walking away and giving up, and if he does it once he’ll do it again every time things get hard. My thinking is if he moves out, I’m done, fully. I’ve been crying for 4 days straight bc of this bc I don’t want to break up but I also won’t wait on the back burner for him either. Am I being unreasonable?

[lightbulb27]

y'all got some serious problems. probably fixable with work.

you need closeness and issues resolved immediately (security), he needs space (introvert... processes emotions over time/later).

Who knows what the arguing is really about.

He doesn't feel secure in the place, isn't feeling respected... why?

The pain is so great he's taking space before he breaks down.

opposites do attract don't they. All of this is primed to expose the deeper emotional wounds and issues, that is what needs worked on. Add to it communication skills with the person, problem resolution, learning to listen and not react, etc.. Lots of work.

I used to fight all the time with my wife, it was awful. Got through it to the other side and rarely do we fight now. It's dooable, but it's hard work eh?

[hahahmm]

The only way to fix this is to sell your house... live in a tiny bedroom at his sister's house with him and trust him 100% to be a good leader, or wait till he figures out how to be one even if it takes 5-10 years. BUT is it worth it? You would be better off finding a guy who is already more mature, confident and so on. For best results look for a guy who already owns property (as you do).

[DaveJord]

Sound like a high level of toxic behavior going on... I would say break up, but get him out first. So no problem when are you moving... then wait until he is out then end it.

[Avicenna]

Sounds like he lacks the maturity needed for an adult relationship

[Anonymous]

'He told me he wants to take a break and move out, but still stay in a relationship together.'

Translation = He wants to keep having sex without dealing with any issues or commitment.

This is toxic so you should seriously be asking yourself why you made this following statement 'I’ve been crying for 4 days straight bc of this bc I don’t want to break up'

I'm betting there is some sunk-cost fallacy involved here.

[BoopBoopBeep]

He sounds like a little bitch. I don't do yelling. If you can't communicate like an adult I'm no longer interested.

[KingOfMe1]

calm down

[BoopBoopBeep]

@KingOfMe1 How am i not calm? I was sitting there with a nice bourbon watching a deer eat berries. You think I'm not calm because I called him a whiny bitch? Well if he stops acting like a whiny bitch I will. I can calmly say that. I already said I don't do yelling.

[InspiringMind]

@BoopBoopBeep everything you said is facts.

[DarkWinterNights]

There are definitely some issues the two of you need to resolve, but if he moves out- that’s kind of it.

[SolSolBunBun]

No You Just Need Buddha To Bring Peace Between The Two Of You.

[Iron_Man]

Fix the problem

[BaoBao1]

It is your decision

[BarryLiverstone]

If you want to