Ex boyfriend broke up with me because didn't want to commit, now in a relationship? why?

[Anonymous]

My ex boyfriend and I had been in a relationship for 2 years. He broke up with me twice. First time was after a year and 2 months for only 1 week. Second time was definite. Break up didn't end badly I understood his reasons.We still kept in contact and hanged out etc. His reasons for breaking up with me was because he wanted to get his life back on track financially, mentally and etc. Because we both only had one sexual partner (each other) he wanted to gain more experience before settling down and getting into a relationship, in other words f*** around. I'm o.k with that because its a guys calling/intuition. We catch up like 4 times a week and all of a sudden he stop contacting me for a week. Then I find out he just got into a relationship a week after from contacting me? Anyways I don't understand why he told me he didn't want to commit and now his in a relationship. To top it off he still contacts me and wants to hangout. He also wants to do favors for me like servicing my car etc. However I've been ignoring him. Why is he in a relationship and why is he still wanting to get in contact with me?

Updates

+1 y

By the way, his 21 turning 22 and I'm 20.

[thetheme]

Here's the thing that people don't understand about the statement "I don't want to be in a relationship right now". There are a couple of real meanings to that. Meaning number 1. He wants to go out and have fun while he is still young with other people, other girls, with no regrets, no one to answer to, no expectations and no guilt. By the way, it's not F'ing around when you are single, that's living the single life. When women do stuff like this, it's always told to guys that if they really love her they should let her go, or that "she needs space" crap, or the famous "we can still be friends" garbage that many guys fall for. Reason number 2. It's not that he doesn't want to be in a relationship, it's that he doesn't want to be in a relationship with YOU. When 2 people want to be together, that's it. There's nothing in the way, no issues, no cut off, no compatibility problems until there are some things that are done or not done that puts the relationship in danger. He felt that he couldn't have the fun he wanted to have with you there at first, then he found someone that he was more fitting to be with, or the other girl is giving him what he wants. So in your relationship with him, there were things done by you (or not done by you) that made him decide that he wanted to end the relationship and move on to someone else.

[Asker]

Yeah I know, his just not that into me. Its been over a year since we broke up and we still keep in contact. I stopped all contact with him once I found out he was in a relationship, which was only a week into the relationship. Anyways I don't know why he didn't tell me at all the brunches he took me to. I just haven't gone out on the dating scene again, which I should. I just don't know where to start? I think I don't want to start yet because I'm not happy with my physical appearance.

[thetheme]

Don't let anything hold you back as far as getting back out there. It always starts with yourself with wanting to have fun and stay positive. He wasn't going to tell you because he didn't want to lose you being there. There are guys that are always looking for women out there. It's up to you if you want to be found. Just give people a chance and forget about the past.

[Anonymous]

He wants to hook up, friends with benefits or he wants to play the field and still have you or he wants to stay in touch and keep you on the back burner so you don't go and hook up with guys cause its only OK if he does it...

[Simple-Simonette]

I have to disagree with the whole "I don't want to be in a relationship right now" sentiment. If you meet a person you want to be with, most people don't let an opportunity like that pass.

Don't take something like this personal - it isn't you, it's the fact that whatever you guys had together is no longer enough for him to desire an romantic relationship any longer. Obviously, he still cares about you, and is willing to retain the friendship you guys shared.

It's not that he didn't want to commit - he just didn't want to commit to you.

It hurts to hear that, but it's the truth. I honestly don't think it's anything you did or didn't do - whatever you had just wasn't enough for him. It may have been enough for you ...

I'm sorry to have to say that. In time, I think you will realize the same, maybe take a breather from him just to regroup. But don't resent him for following his heart - our hearts don't always follow our heads.

Good luck.

[Kitty1574]

I think he cheated on you. That whole wanting to sleep around with other people is bullsh*t. Especially if he got into a relationship right after you guys broke up. That just screams fishy to me. As to why he still wants to hang with you and stuff, I don't quite know. If he did cheat, maybe he feels guilty? Hope this helps. Good luck :)