I broke up last month because he was wasting my time with ''one day we'll have a family'', false hopes and giving excuses for extending things. We've been together for 5 years. I didn't want to waste another 5 years of my life for nothing.
Then on Friday, he tried looking for me at home. I was working overtime. He kept trying to reach me. He contacted my sister, whom told him I was at work still. After I'm done with my shift, get out and there he was. All of the sudden, he's all sorry, said he's ready and does it. Maybe in Hollywood movies, the woman accepts it but I wasn't happy by then. I still declined him. I think it shouldn't have to take getting pressured nor his girlfriend leaving for him to suddenly want to commit.
I feel that if I had accepted it, there would be resentment from both sides. I'll forever be bothered that it didn't came naturally from him. It took him me leaving for it to happen. Now tables have flipped suddenly. He's still not giving up, keeps saying he'll make it up to me, he'll wait for me, etc.
Why did it had to take me leaving? I'm not happy anymore. I'll just continue rejecting him.
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If you spent 5 years waiting with no commitment then you wasted too much time.
After my divorce o said I’d never marry again, but found an amazing woman that I wanted to be with and told her I’d never marry again. I was fully committed and didn’t proper for 7 years, but she knew I was committed and one day I would marry her.
And now that he lost me, he proposed and I declined him. He's supposedly trying to win me back, said he ain't giving up, that he loves, is sorry for taking too long but is ready now and will still be there if I change my mind.
Honestly, I don't feel like accepting it by now. I'm no longer excited anymore.
I think you are definitely doing the right thing. The cross-resentment you mentioned is something few consider when getting back together. He will just have to deal with it. He had his shot. Sounds like he had many shots.
Exactly. Lets say I would've accepted it and then proceed with marrying him. How would I be able to tell our future kids and others (friends and family) that it took leaving him for him to commit, that it never came natural for him, that I never had the sweet romantic, surprise... instead it was only done when he lost me and tried winning me back.
He had his change to do that during all the 5 years of our relationship. He had many chances and now is suddenly sorry. According to my friends and family relatives he's sad now and trying to win me back. I don't want him anymore.
Let him be sad. Good luck moving forward.