Just being honest?

[Anonymous]

Is how you get them is how you loose them always true.. I mean, me and my partner got together when he was with somebody else. I mean there are afew red flags like one of them is before he moved in with me, he was sending pictures of rentals to her as well.
Me and him did end up moving in together. He leaves his phone unlocked and I have his location on my iPhone (which he is aware of) I asked him and he said that saying it’s not true with us but what if… he wasn’t just cheating with me it was several others not that it justifies anything but that’s what he says that he didn’t actually like her that much. I don’t know maybe I’m scared of universal law aka Karma! I am suspicious of him a lot. Maybe the way we got together has something to do with it. Just wondering if that saying is true most of the time?

Updates

1 y

He says I’ve opened his eyes as in I’ve changed him. 🤷‍♀️

[Finchie40]

If you have doubts and suspicions about him? you are best to trust your gut instincts to a certain extent, You ever hear the saying “ If it looks like a duck , sounds like a duck , it is more than likely a duck? It means your gut instincts are warning you of something that doesn’t really feel right to you. Only you can figure this out , so instead of jumping to conclusions, and assuming the worst case scenario, without actual evidence of his actions , you are best to just observe him , without letting him know you are on to him , because the second a cheater knows you are on to them? They become more sneaky and shady , making it harder for you to bust them. So the best thing for you to do, is to observe his actions towards you , if he isn’t making you his top priority , if he doesn’t include you in a lot of things like going out and spending time with you , That is a Red Flag, if he doesn’t keep you posted on where he is going or what he is up to? that’s a red flag as well. If his friends become more of a priority to him than you do to him? That’s a red flag as well. Someone the truly loves you and cares about you, doesn’t need a lot of space from you , they don’t really need space at all , they will not exclude you from anything , they will always include you before making a decision , because they love and care about you and want to share things with you , this should go for you as well when it comes to making decisions , if you do not include your partner , they will learn not to include you as well , so if your boyfriend is not doing that to you and treating you like a convenience? You are best to start making your plans to walk the other way. Basically by putting one foot out the door, If things aren’t matching up to the things he is telling you? You are best to have a sit down talk with him and express your feelings of concern , if nothing changes after you express your concerns? That’s your answer to end that relationship and walk away. Never be a convenience to anyone , I don’t care how long you been with this person , if they are not compromising with you and making you feel like everything is ok without pointing fingers at you first , by saying things like you are insecure or you are just jealous , That right there is a red flag if they are saying that to you. Because it has nothing to do with insecurities and jealousy, it comes down to respect for each other , if you don’t feel respected in your relationship? You are best to end it with them after you said what you needed to say to them. Do not be a sitting duck to someone that can’t give you back the same in return. You will only be hurting yourself by thinking this guy actually loves and values you , because the truth is , he just likes the convenience of you. Never be a connivence to anyone

[Oliverlogan263]

Sis, that situation does have some red flags that would worry me too. Here's my thoughts -

While people can change, the way you started does raise some questions. Sending pics to his ex while moving on with you suggests he wasn't fully over her. And if he cheated with multiple people, that shows a pattern of disrespect in relationships.

I don't fully believe that "how you get them is how you lose them" is always true. But the foundations of trust have been compromised here. Only time will really tell if he's grown like he says.

I'd keep an eye out for other signs he may stray again - secrecy, less time together, distance from you emotionally or physically. Open communication is also key. Let him know your past makes you cautious, but you're willing to rebuild trust over time if he proves himself consistent.

Ultimately you'll need to decide if this is someone you can truly rely on for the long haul, or if it may be healthier to leave his past behind. Trust your gut feeling most - you know what you're willing to accept. Stay strong and take care of your heart!

[DishLady]

No. “Once a cheater is always a cheater” and “karma is a b*” are true, though….

[Asker]

Yes she is

[Asker]

I got karma tonight I have broken up with him. I messaged her and it went left he ended up siding with her. Although I feel hurt I’m not surprised what did I expect

[Asker]

Wrong post sorry

[Anonymous]

Lol 😂 if he cheated on someone with u , he can cheat on u with someone else

[elaphe]

Why would you want to be with someone who has the personality traits of a cheater?