My ex mailed me some of my stuff, but he also sent the skirt he bought for me and then a shirt of his that I never asked for or never worn?

[Anonymous]

I have expressed I still loved him and wanted to work things out again but he clearly said he doesn’t want to anymore. So why give me his belonging along my iPad & the skirt he bought for me. I get the skirt thing, but a shirt of his? I don't know. It makes me mad & upset.

[_Maya_]

If you are upset and mad over that you need to pick and choose your battles a little better. You are broken up so just ignore it. It shouldn't make you that upset. For all you (and we) know he thought it was a shirt of yours or you did wear it. Maybe he just didn't realize you hadn't. Is it really that big of a deal to post here about how frustrated you are? What's done is done. Now about the skirt... he bought it for you. That is what you say. Therefore it is YOUR skirt and your property so why wouldn't he send it to you? What is he going to do with a skirt anyhow. Would you rather him throw it out?

[Asker]

I did not question a skirt. I need an outlet to better understand his patterns. No I have not worn that shirt of his nor have I even seen it in person. You are right, I am probably just overthinking that gesture, with whatever intention he has it shouldn’t trigger me in any way. I appreciate your blunt comment.

[_Maya_]

No problem. Just being honest with an outside view of it. Sometimes it is easier to see it for what it is when not involved emotionally.

[Asker]

Sometimes I just really need an outside perspective to better understand a scenario that may not even be that big of a deal, but because I’m in that box it’s hard to see the bigger picture. I appreciate your time & honest input!

[_Maya_]

You're welcome! I totally get what you mean by being in a box. I get the same way when it is personal stuff. Hard to step back and see things for what they are.

[hahahmm]

Ask him. He probably thought you'd want a keepsake.

[Asker]

I really do not want to communicate with him anymore. I am still hurting. I promised that as soon as he shipped my stuff I wouldn’t contact him anymore. It just gives me a hard time again to find he sent a shirt of him knowing I loved wearing his clothes. What’s the point of confusing me?

[hahahmm]

He's a guy. He did not have a big plan to upset you & if he thought it would upset you he wouldn't have sent it. Guys typically don't do things to upset you unless they're trying to get even

[Asker]

Thank you, this is comforting. He is a decent man after all. I guess I could still be bitter over our break. It is just hard to move on and forget someone who you do not have a reason to hate.