Is it a “red flag” that he has female friends that are bikini models?

[Anonymous]

He has different groups of friends and I’m a new addition in one , so I completely understand that he’ll be closer to others , I really don’t have a problem with him having female friends or even bikini model friends. But what I’ve been concerned about is their behaviour around him. I find it a bit inappropriate. Some of these girls have bfs, and even husbands and they have flings on the side which to me is a red flag. They are self promoted half naked models on IG, and they partake and host bikini car washes, and some other vulgar activities. Some of them touch him inappropriately and one girl even sat on his lap and looked directly at me when she did it. He was visibly annoyed and told her to not do that, she moved but laughed it off. Am I overthinking this or is it actually a red flag?

He’s not my boyfriend, but the way things have been moving, we probably might take this friendship to the next level. I don’t wanna date and then breakup after because of my issues with his friends’ behaviours. So that’s why I’m thinking of taking a step back from now? I also have been contemplating asking him about them but I don’t wanna seem controlling, especially since he’s been friends either then way before me. He’s a great guy and I rather keep him as a friend than completely loose him if things get weird.

[TommyMountainFigure]

Ignore the fact they may or may not be after him.. The real question is do you trust him? If you do, then they can hit on him all they like and you will know he will turn them all down!

I know because I have been in that position on an almost daily basis when I worked nights. My Wife knew she could trust me, and quite rightly so because I would never so much as look at another woman, even when they would change clothes or get undressed just to try it on!

[Asker]

Hi, thanks for the response.

100% trusting someone is something I’m working on , due to past experiences it’s been a work in progress. But I do trust him more than my other friends, and saying that he’s a potential boyfriend is huge for me since I haven’t thought about dating in 6 years. Deep down I think he won’t be unfaithful, so I have my hopes up for the best. Also, it’s great that your wife trusts you and you’ve never broken that trust, it’s quite rare to have those qualities nowadays. I admire that!

[TommyMountainFigure]

Thank you, I appreciate it. I hope you both have what we have too in the future!

[Danny_dan92]

If he flirts with them and or hangs out with them without inviting you? Yeah. More than likely

[DishLady]

Folks need to look up the term RED FLAG before using it. He’s not your boyfriend so who cares if he has friends who are models or nudists if anything else? Come on….

[Asker]

Thanks for the response.

I used “red flag” in quotations in the question since I know it’s not the most accurate word. It’s just the term that a lot people online tend to use these days. Also, yes I know he’s not my boyfriend but we spoke about dating and I think it’s gonna happen soon. After we start dating, is then a good time to communicate my concerns?

[In_Trance]

He's not your boyfriend...

[Asker]

I know, but he can possibly be in the near future. We even spoke about dating before but the timing wasn’t right, things are aligning now. Should I wait till we start to date then to discuss it?

[In_Trance]

No you shouldn't