I found out earlier this year that my boyfriend has a group chat with his mates on instagram where they send each-other memes and random stuff, the problem is that after having a little scroll in the chat i noticed my boyfriend had been sending them posts of two different girls in bikinis with their asses on full display (he follows them both on instagram still and says that he knows from school). One of the posts he sent to this chat he also added a message saying “She was weird in school but now she’s bad asf” Keeping in mind these girls look nothing like me, they’re both blonde and tanned and i’ve got dark hair and pale skin… i’m already insecure but this made me feel so self conscious and i sometimes still think about it today and compare myself to them and stalk them (he still follows them 8 months later…) Not only is my self esteem ruined but i also feel embarrassed… what do his friends think of me after seeing him send that? am i not good enough for him? I did confront him about it and he said he was feeling distant from his mates and just wanted to send them something that they can “bond” over… i asked him why he did it he couldn’t tell me why he just said “idk it was stupid i’m sorry i won’t do it again”. I forgave him and he thinks i have moved on, but i am still struggling with it… especially since he still follows these girls on instagram… i keep thinking does he still do it? he follows heaps of girls on insta so does he look at their posts and share them with his mates too? If anyone (especially guys) could shed some light on the situation i would really appreciate it, is this normal? do guys do this all the time? or is it not appropriate to be doing in a relationship? should i ask him to unfollow these girls for my own peace of mind?
He shares other girls bikini posts in a group chat with his mates on instagram…?
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Opinion
1Opinion
A man can still appreciate the sight of beautiful women if he's married. It doesn't mean that he wants to fuck them.
And your boyfriend and his mates are sharing those photos with each other. His reasoning about "bonding" with them actually makes sense. It's just guy stuff.
You wouldn't want him sharing photos of you with them, would you?
I've been married now for 26 years. I love my wife with all my heart and am 100% dedicated and loyal to her. But I'll confess that I occasionally watch porn. And I have a folder of photos in my computer of women with what I consider to have ideal looks. That includes sub folders of clothed, nude, faces, boobs, butts, nude paintings, etc. I think of all of it as art.
My wife know and understands. She's not jealous. She understands appreciation of the human form. She knows that I check out beautiful women in public, too, and sometimes points them out to me.
We've been walking at Venice Beach and seen beautiful women in bikinis roller blading on the bike path. We'll look at each other and go "Damn!"
One time we were on a ferry in San Francisco Bay and a sail boat came very near. Two girls on the sailboat raised their tops and flashed our boat. My wife nudged me and pointed so that I wouldn't miss it.
A couple years ago, we went to a frozen yogurt store by a lake. A girl in her late teens or early 20s was in front of us was wearing a beach top that only covered the top of her ass. She must have been wearing a thong because her particularly lush ass looked bare.
My wife and I looked at each other. Then I jokingly reached out as if I was gong to give that soft, round, plump ass a squeeze. No one else noticed, of course. But my wife chuckled.
Anyway, I don't think there is anything wrong with appreciating beauty. It's no different that appreciating landscapes, flowers, sunsets, cute puppies, or beautiful art.
Keep in mind that your boyfriend chose you. He must think you are beautiful. And why are you jealous of blond, tan girls? Maybe your dark hair and pale skin is actually what he prefers even though he and his mates joke about those Instagram girls. I prefer pale skin, myself.
I would advise you to stop comparing yourself to other girls and being insecure. Be the hot little bad ass that your boyfriend adores.
This is sad but typical.