Is this normal behavior from a male friend?

[Anonymous]

I have a guy friend, i recently started to date someone and i told him about it. I know he is talking to a girl as well but it's not as serious for them as it is for me since i am in a committed relationship with my boyfriend and they have just started to see each other. My problem is, i didn't tell him so much details about my relationship i only told him the main information if we are together or not and answered the questions he asked about my boyfriend. So i made sure i didn't rub my relationship in his face and only answered him things he was curious about. Even with this effort of me being cool about it and him having a girl which i support and i listened to all kinds of stories about this girl he told me about, he still pulled away from me. If i text him he answers quickly and he is enthusiastic about the conversation, he keeps it going, but never reaches out first anymore. He used to want to talk to me all the time and since i had a boyfriend it stopped. Just because i have someone it doesn't mean i don't care about my friends. Is this natural for a guy or what is his problem? Could it be that he is not reaching out because he is afraid my boyfriend wouldn't like it? Although he has no problem with my friendship and i don't want to lose this friend. I stopped reaching out because i am waiting for him to initiate and it's been 5 days. I start to get worried but i will not text him. If this is how our friendship ends then it's his choice. I just want to understand what thoughts are in his mind? If he reaches out what is the right way to ask him the reason why he took a step back from me without making him mad?

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm that is a bit strange that he dropped off suddenly just because you got a boyfriend. A few possibilities:

1. He may have had feelings for you beyond friendship that he's trying to get over now that you're unavailable. Sometimes distance helps with that.

2. He could be worried your boyfriend might get the wrong idea or be jealous of your friendship. Some guys are awkward about close girl friends once one is in a relationship.

3. There is a chance he lost some interest now that there's less opportunity for something romantic. Sad but true, some friendships are partly due to underlying attraction.

My advice would be - give him some more time and space. But also let him know you value his friendship alone and it doesn't depend on dating status. When/if he reaches back out, you could thank him for being respectful but also stress you want to maintain your close bond of friendship regardless. Most good friends are happy for each other finding partners, as long as the friendship is still a priority too. I'm sure it will sort itself out! Stay positive.

[Emmytexrex]

You know that if two people stay as friends for along time they start to get more closer due to emotional intimacy that's natural human psychology
The guy started a new relationship he is with someone now and you are with someone things are definitely going to change that's how life is

[DishLady]

Ok, so what's the problem? You gave your buddy the basics and not the extended Peter Jackson version of your dating escapades with your man... cool. If he's trying to get his thing with this new girl moving forward why are you making this about you?

5 whole days? My goodness... FRIENDSHIPS don't go by dating rules. There's no initiation restriction with friendship as there is with dating. If you're serious about staying friends you can text or call him, but only do ONE. If you blast his phone the girl he's seeing will get the wrong idea.

[spartan55]

Why would you think he would contact you just as much when you have a boyfriend?

[Asker]

Because we are friends? I am the same me i was before i got a boyfriend. We are not romantically involved, never was and never will. Everything should be the same for us as before, me having a boyfriend shouldn't have an impact on our friendship.

[spartan55]

Unfortunately that's not how it usually works in practice. Your boyfriend should be your top priority atm.