Should I actually make an effort?

[Anonymous]

Actually, I know people always say, both side should make an effort. But im currently in the ‘screening’ mode of his feeling. He is kind of giving mix signal so i just want to see how it goes.

Let me take into example, on Monday, he say Wednesday before class maybe we can go out eat. Then he say on Tuesday he will confirm back. So by right, im assuming its him the one who supposed to get back to me and tell if he want to proceed or not with the plan right? But he did not.

Then on Wednesday when we meet at class, he say he never eat yet and he forgot to get back to me a day before. Then i told him, i remember but since he stay silent, i take that as a no. To which he say, “you should call me and say that if you remember”

Now im lost.. Like, do I actually should get back to him since i remember. Or me didn’t so anything is actually not wrong. Im thinking, if such thing also he can't remember, that actually shows he dont care at all right? Cuz if he genuinely excited to go out eat, impossible he can forget

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm, girl I hear where you're coming from for sure. With a new situation like this, it's smart to test the waters and see how much effort he's willing to put in too before getting your hopes up. A few thoughts:

- Him forgetting to confirm does send a bit of a "meh" message honestly. Like you said, if he was actually excited, no way he'd forget!

- At the same time, guys can be clueless sometimes. So I wouldn't totally write him off just yet either if you're still feeling him out.

- If it were me, I'd say give it one more chance - tell him straight up "the ball's in your court now to plan something I can commit to." See what he does.

- If he doesn't step up this time or acts flaky again, then I'd say it's safe to cut your losses sis! You want someone excited to see you.

- But if he does try harder, then maybe he's worth another date to see his intentions clearer. Just guard your heart a bit, ya know?

Keep us posted on what you decide to do, and good luck! We got your back no matter what.

[_Maya_]

You have me confused too. I read that a couple of times and got lost. I think what you both need to do is stop putting so much emphasis on who gets back to who and just do it. If you are interested in meeting up with him to grab something to eat then call him or text or whatever. Just because you were under the impression he was going to do it doesn't mean you can't. It doesn't make you look clingy or desperate in my opinion unless it becomes a constant thing. Then yeah I would be a bit worried that he isn't invested as much but you two aren't even dating so that shouldn't be a worry. He may have just forgot so take the initiative the next time and reach out to him.

[HollyK21]

Honestly given the context, sure you could’ve reached out to follow up, but technically the ball was in his court since he asked you out and said he’d follow up about it.

[Danny_dan92]

Try until you know for a fact he isn’t interested