Why do men always seem to act nervous or scared of me when they break up with or ghost me etc?

[Anonymous]

I mean I do have a strong personality, but I have too much dignity and self respect to lose my temper with anyone especially not in public, I just turn my back and walk away.

I have never lost my temper in front of any of them, I’m known for being kind and friendly so I don’t understand what makes them so anxIous?

One guy had been flirting with me, giving me lots of compliments etc but then started acting really shifty and give me odd looks. Turned out he had a girlfriend and in all our conversations never mentioned her once. But there was a couple of weeks before I found out he was in a relationship, when he would stare at me as he walked past me all wide eyed and nervous. He was like a deer trapped in the headlights!! But I hadn’t actually done anything other than smile and chat so it just didn’t make any sense?

[Oliverlogan263]

Honestly, some guys are just terrified of confrontation from any girl. Even if they know you'd never blow up, I think a lot of dudes have it in their heads that any breakup could turn messy. They don't want a scene.

As for that guy leading you on while having a girlfriend, he was probably paranoid you'd find out the truth. Dude knew he was in the wrong and was cheating on his girl with you. Of course he'd be all nervous walking by, worried you'd call him out!

I think some guys also pull this deer-in-headlights act cause they feel guilty deep down. Even if you don't freak out, they feel small being the one who did someone wrong. The shifty eyes and awkward smile is them trying to avoid taking responsibility.

Don't let it get to you - these dudes are just immature. Clearly they don't know how to handle relationships properly if they feel they have to sneak around. Keep doing your thing, you seem chill. Someday you'll find a guy mature enough to break up like an adult if it comes to that. Don't change who you are!

[Asker]

Thank you that makes me feel less paranoid!!

[Oliverlogan263]

No problem girl! I'm glad it helps make you feel less paranoid. Trust me, I've totally been there wondering what I might have done wrong or what someone's deal is. It sucks putting so much thought into other people's behavior when really it's usually just them and not you at all.

Don't waste anymore energy stressing over those guys. You seem like an amazing catch and their loss! Now you've got room for somebody worthy who won't act all sketchy. Keep shining bright and the right guy will see how awesome you are without any games. These clowns did you a favor clearing the way. On to bigger and better! You've got this sis 😊

[boggboss]

Probobly that strong personality

[Asker]

Think I’m screwed then!!

[boggboss]

Or just haven't found a guy thats into you that much

[DishLady]

You’re probably putting out some ”stalker” vibe or something.

[Asker]

Well I might as well give up now as I’m actually pretty chill about relationships, so not sure what I could change to change their perceptions of me.

[DishLady]

Try to backtrack and see if there was a specific “freakout” point, then. Something mentioned that made him nervous, esp if it’s a consistent reaction.

(I’m not placing blame on you by the way, just sometimes guys and gals minds are functioning on completely different frequencies… You can laugh about it later but in the moment it’s nerve-racking… I get where you’re coming from….)

[Asker]

Thanks, I try to be mindful about these things so I’ll give that a go.

I do wonder if that particular guy was worried he’d not really thought about what he’d been doing by flirting. But it didn’t become inappropriate at least!

[DishLady]

Some guys are sensitive or skittish for their own reasons also. Everyone has their own baggage and stuff. 🤷🏻‍♀️