How come my co worker doesn’t mention his girlfriend to me?

[Anonymous]

I’ve attracted to him and I believe he knows (I wouldn’t make a move because he had a girlfriend but we are friends and co workers that’s all)
We’ve had very personal conversations about stuff outside of work related stuff and in multiple scenarios where he could mention his girlfriend and his relationship but never does, he talks about bunch of things with me except HER. I find it really strange cause I enjoy talking to him and being friendly with him. I’ve never flat out asked him because I don’t want to seem too pushy. The only reason I know he has a girlfriend is because I’ve heard about him talking about her to others and even a male friend of mine who’s also a co worker had said he was in a relationship.

He’s super super sweet and friendly to me and even compliments me on how good I smell and how he likes the hairstyles I do on certain days. We stare at each other quite often and I’ve even him caught him checking me out a few times but again I’m not sure why he doesn’t mention his girlfriend to me or tell me to back off if I’m being too much and he doesn’t like it?

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm, that does seem kinda strange that he never mentions his girl to you. A few possibilities I can think of:

- He might be tryna keep you interested by not bringing her up, which isn't cool if he's really taken. Guys do jerky stuff like that sometimes.

- Could be going through relationship problems and not that into talking about her right now. But still shady to flirt at work then.

- Maybe she's long distance or they've grown apart, so it doesn't feel relevant. But he should be clear about where they stand.

- He may just see you as a friend and the compliments aren't meant to lead you on. But still, red flag to not talk about his partner ever.

I'd be careful getting too close until you know what's up for sure. Trust your gut - if it seems off, back off a little. You deserve a guy who's honest and single! Maybe casually ask about her sometime to see how he reacts. But don't go chasing taken dudes. You're awesome - save your energy for someone available!

[Anonymous]

Maybe because he feels there’s no need to. I talk to a lot of women at work, well certain women who I know for sure maybe 2 of them like me. But I don’t tell them about my girl, that’s my personal business. Does it mean I’m hiding it from them so I can string them along or something? No. It’s my business.

[DishLady]

First of all... now that you know he has one, just stand back and don't be bothered with him... You clearly are developing feelings otherwise you wouldn't be here going on and on about him.

Next, possibly he doesn't mention her because it's none of your business, Miss "We Are Friends and Coworkers That’s All"... who are you kidding?

Lastly, if there's an actual mutual attraction, then he hasn't mentioned her because he at least wants to get into bed. Once he's done that he'll probably suddenly have a million reasons to top chatting with you.

[Booklover_90]

Honestly, I wouldn’t worry about it. Plus, I wouldn’t entertain the fantasy of being with him, if that’s what you’re doing. As you said, he has a girlfriend.

[LiamS95]

Possibly his relationship is not working out snd he thinks you'd make for a great girlfriend once his current relationship is broken but doesn't want to mention a failing relationship.

[Asker]

Thanks for the answer! You beautiful eyes by the way!!

[spartan55]

Like I said, he doesn't want to ruin any shot he thinks he has with you.