Co worker acts weird around his girlfriend? but only towards me?

[Anonymous]

I have this one co worker who trained me at my job , he was nice (he’s a middle eastern guy) he was so sweet to me during training and even after. I notice the day after he was training me his girlfriend who also works on the floor came in the next day and was like “girlll he was at home telling me he’s a better trainer than me “ then proceeded to ask “who was better and who was more fun me or him “ mind you her boyfriend who trained me is like 20 and she’s like 25 (and I am 22 F) 😭😭 and oh it didn’t end there because they both Went on break and when they got back his girlfriend also said to me “girrrrllllll somebody told me you were scared to do acuchecks “ and I’m just in my head like WHERE IS ALL OF THIS COMING FROM? I have repeatedly caught him staring at me when I would come out of a patients room , while I’m walking , or while I’m talking to other co workers he will stare but when his girl is at work HE AVOIDS ME AT ALL COSTS, he won’t look and won’t even say anything … like what’s going on? His girlfriend even called me beautiful yesterday and she does the same , she tries so hard not to talk to me when he’s around …… like? ITS ITS BEEN A CONSTANT THING FOR MONTHS & I really don’t get why they both do that and then when one of the other is gone they are more open to talk to me and nice..

Updates

10 mo

I even noticed he would have a normal conversation with the rest of my co workers but acts even scared to talk when his girl is there , it’s weird

[HollyK21]

You’re probably gonna think I’m trying to gaslight you or something and before you get that in your head please understand that we are strangers and I have zero reason to make you feel delusional or bad.


Anyway, I appreciate the detail but despite all that’s going on I genuinely do not think he’s trying to flirt with you, disrespect his girlfriend, stare, avoid, mutually both of them going out of their way to avoid, like I truly think a lot of this is in your own head. What I believe is that one specific interaction with him planted a seed in your mind, and you’ve just allowed it to grow and grow without much justification to it.


When you’re forming these thoughts you really have to consider your own behavior and what they’re both making of it. Like I’m sure you will give me some version of “nuh-uh” about this, but there have absolutely been times that he has caught you stealing glances at him as well. He’s noticed how hyper-aware you’ve become of one another since he trained you and isn’t sure what to make of the behavior. I don’t care how slick about your observations and interactions you think you’ve been — you are not agent 007 you are a human sharing the same workspace with him every single day.


So while you’re counting all these things as weird and basically suggesting that he’s developed a crush on you because you’re closer to his age and whatnot, take a step back from traveling that road. Could I be wrong? Absolutely, this is just an opinion. Could you be wrong? For sure, those are just your observations. Regardless, it’s not an appropriate avenue to explore because he’s in a relationship and you work with both of them. I would erase those messy thoughts clear from my mind.

[Asker]

Oh brother…. You’re far outside of the situation VERY FAR. I come to work and do what I NEED to do & leave , and I treat all my co workers the same including him… never said I was undercover agent 😭 he avoids me when she’s there and his whole persona changes when she is gone …. Stop giving him the benefit of the doubt

[HollyK21]

Obviously I’m outside the situation, I’m judging off what you posted here. If you’re going to be so defensive and combative in nature just because an opinion opposes what you believe is going on, then I don't know why you’re here in the first place. You’re the one who came here and asked.

[HollyK21]

How about this? We’ll get a second opinion. @Abbycado can you read the context of this post, my response and then let the asker know what you think?

[Abbycado]

Holly is right. You sound like someone dying to convince or have someone else convince you of what you WANT to be true. It smells of desperation to have what you want validated.

Holly is right and I agree with her. This sums it up from what she said “ I truly think a lot of this is in your own head”.

[HollyK21]

Thanks Abby, maybe she’ll actually listen lol

[Abbycado]

There are too many of these people that will convince themselves the guy they like drives a unicorn to work and carries a 2 karat ring just itching to pop the question if they have their minds set.

[HollyK21]

That part😂😂