Should I worry about these little lies?

[Anonymous]

I’ve always told my boyfriend about my past, including everything I did with my exes from serious stuff to silly stuff, I think it’s important that we knew everything about each other since trust is fundamental and I tell him everything he wants to know even if it might hurt his feelings, but I have caught him in little lies about silly stuff, he was in a serious relationship before me and had a fling too, I always ask silly things like “am I the first girl that has been in your car?” and stuff like that but jokingly, but there has been various times that I found out he lied about those silly things some examples are the car thing he said I was the first girl and then I recently found out I wasn’t, or one time he told me that he never spent his bday with his exes and then I found a picture of him and his ex on his birthday and every time I confront him he says he lied to not hurt my feelings it has happened a lot of times now and I don’t know how to feel. what should I do?

[kylee2437]

Do you honestly think this man really cares about what you and your exes have done? Have you ever asked him how talking about this stuff makes him feel? It seems like from this paragraph alone, you only really seem to care about how it makes you feel. You feel like it’s important , but if he’s fibbing, that’s suggestion that just maybe 1. He actually hates sharing info about his exes , 2. He hates hearing about your exes. Now what makes you feel like this is a healthy dynamic that you are the only one in this relationship that likes talking about this stuff?

[Asker]

the birthday example I didn’t even ask he told me that, sometimes he is the one the forces me to tell him intimate details of me and my exes. So it makes me mad that he lies

[Asker]

I think you should back off. at least first ask before making the assumptions you are making

[kylee2437]

@asker stop talking about exes. Just stop. Stop comparing your relationship to what he has done with others. People DO not need to do things with you that they did in their last relationship. Maybe next time, ask him why he doesn’t prefer spending time with you on his birthday. Maybe ask if there is another day where you could celebrate because you care about him enough to celebrate.

[kylee2437]

@asker girl nah I’m speaking from experiences from my ex hounding me about my past and expecting me to be A, B, and C because of my past. It’s not healthy and it does not give chance for both people to move on in a clean slate and make up compromises and such based on their current relationship

[Asker]

I don’t think you understood the birthday thing. on his birthday I gave him a bunch of gifts and I spent it with him and he told me I never asked. and I quote “this is the first time a girl has given me a gift for my birthday and spent it with me.” a couple days later I find a picture of him and his ex together at his birthday and he tells me she gave him a gift. I do not force him to tell me stuff I just wanted advice on what to do since he seems to lie about small things to make me feel better about myself which I don’t care if he’s done the same things with others girls I just don’t like liars.

[kylee2437]

@asker okay I get it. But more than likely, he just wants you to feel special. In the very beginning of your paragraph you said that you tell your man every detail of your past and such , and just maybe the constant fishing about his past and telling your past because you think it makes up your honesty is not a healthy dynamic. Just be happy he wants you to feel special regardless of what he has done with other people.

You can feel whatever you want, but in the end I think this is sincerely a bit silly to continue to be upset about. “Hey I forgive you for lying, I think it’s best I stop with the past stuff and we move forward. I appreciate that you are trying to make me feel special”

[DishLady]

I personally don’t date liars or cheaters. There’s no reason to have that energy in my life. It’s not something I recommend for anyone.


I’d drop this guy if I were you. Someone who lies about a small thing will be lying about bigger things as well.

[spartan55]

Have you reacted badly when he admitted other things?

[Asker]

no, I usually tell him I don’t mind those things and that I know it’s normal that he did it with other girls and I tell him what hurts me is that he lies about small stuff

[spartan55]

Are you sure you've never reacted that way? Does he have an Ex that freaked out about stuff like that?

[Danny_dan92]

Pay close attention to his behavior

[kylee2437]

Nope, she still hasn’t seem to gotten that he despises this topic in general, but does it to appease her.

[Danny_dan92]

Let her learn the hard way

[Asker]

you are not understanding. I don’t force him to tell me anything, he is the one that forces me to tell him INTIMATE stuff about em and my exes and if I don’t tell him he gets mad at me, so forgive me for getting mad that he lies about stupid things.

[Danny_dan92]

So he gets mad if you do or don’t tell him how you fucked your ex’s?

Am I reading that correctly?

[Asker]

if I don’t tell him.

[Danny_dan92]

He sounds like a cuck. Probably has a fetish of seeing his girlfriend getting fucked

[MrFrenchFry]

Why do you want him to lie to you