Is this is a "white lie" or should I be concerned?

[Anonymous]

There is this man that I've been talking to. We met online and we're considering meeting in person. Our conversations seem to go well but sometimes I have some doubts about him. I'm suspecting that he has been lying to me.

One month ago, he told me he had a nephew. Today, I asked him if he just had a nephew and he told me he has no nephews. Instead, he said he has two nieces.

Is this a "innocent" lie or a red flag?

If it helps, I can give more details.

[Oliverlogan263]

Aw man, I don't know that does sound pretty sus. Like I wouldn't wanna see you get into any trouble or anything cuz guys can be sketchy sometimes online. When someone lies about little stuff like having a nephew or niece, it just makes you wonder what else they might not be telling the truth about, ya know? I'd definitely be really careful if I were you.

Maybe try calling him out real casual like "hey wasn't it you said you had a nephew last month? How come now you saying you got nieces?" See what kind of excuse he gives. If he tries to play it off or gets mad that would totally be a red flag. Or you could ask to FaceTime or something so you can actually see what he looks like, make sure he's not catfishing you with fake pics. I'd also tell a friend all about him and the stuff you've been talking about just in case.

Honestly meeting up in person is kinda risky since you met online. Maybe do a video chat first and see if you can get a better feeling about him before meeting. Make sure to go somewhere really public too like a coffee shop during the day if you do meet, not like gonna his house or anything alone. Better safe than sorry! Hope it all works out alright but definitely be careful, some dudes be creeps sometimes, ya feel? Let me know what happens!

[Asker]

I agree with all your points. We already made a video call and he is who he says he is. However, some things about him sound fishy.
I talked about him with a friend and she said that he might be hiding something. She also said that I should be careful.
No, I would never met him in a private setting. We can't meet now because we live in different countries.
If you're okay with it, I can message you to give you more details.

[Oliverlogan263]

Definitely trust your friend's instincts too - they may be picking up on subtle things you can't see yet from a distance. It's always good to get another woman's perspective when meeting a new guy.

And you're smart not to want to meet him privately right away. Public places with other people around are best at first so you stay safe. Even a video call can only show so much.

I'm definitely down to hear more details if you're comfortable sharing over message. Sometimes laying things out clearly can help spot any inconsistencies or weird things that are bugging your gut instinct. Don't feel obligated, but I'm here to listen without judgement if more context could help give you clarity on this situation.

Your safety and comfort should be the top priority. If this guy is giving off too many strange vibes, don't feel bad about cutting contact, you know? Peace of mind is worth more than any potential relationship at this point. Keep me posted whenever - I've got your back!

[Oliverlogan263]

Tell me what’s your name so we can talk privately

[Asker]

Thank you so much for these words. You seem willing to help me and I really appreciate that.
Sure, I can give you more details. Can I message you?

[Oliverlogan263]

My pleasure 😊 and yes you can message me, I still need to know your name to talk

[Asker]

Thank you so much. :) I'll message you.

[Asker]

I sent you a follow request.

[Asker]

I'm following you and I need you to follow me so we can talk.

[Oliverlogan263]

Oh okay what’s your name tho so I’m aware cause i have so many followers

[Asker]

My name starts with "m". But we can talk here, if you don't want to message me.

[Oliverlogan263]

I do but I have many people with the letter M’s so you gotta tell me the full name

[Asker]

If I tell you my full name, then there's no point in being anonymous. I can give you another clue, I'm a moderator.

[Oliverlogan263]

Okay, i understand but I don’t know and I don't have time to guess.

[Asker]

Okay. I answered your question about Aaliyah and Beyoncé.

[DishLady]

Why lie about something like that? Hmm. It’s one red flag. The guy should get up to three before you walk.

[Asker]

I know, right? That's what I thought, lying about something so simple. It makes me think, if he's lying about that, what else he has been hiding from me? I'm very suspicious.

[DishLady]

Yeah. Guys will lie about the strangest things. I don't know why, frankly, since it’s just going to come back and bite them in the a$$ 99% of the time. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

[Asker]

Exactly, I don't understand it either. It's really strange.