Why would a guy tell you “I’m not ready for a relationship “ when he’s the one who made the first move?

[Anonymous]

Making someone almost fall for them and they change… making it seem like he really wanted something in the beginning then do you wrong in the end

[MrOracle]

Lots of guys just want casual sex, not a relationship, but they still have to "make a first move", right? Girls aren't just going to walk up to them and say "want some pussy?", so of course those guys are going to be out making moves on girls.

The reason you are confused as because you don't seem to understand that it's up to YOU to differentiate a man's "interest" in you: is he looking for a serious relationship, or is he only looking for casual sex? If you just assume that all male interest is "relationship interest", you're going to get used - a lot.

Women are the gatekeepers of sex - which, trust me, you want to be the case, because if MEN were the gatekeepers of sex, you'd probably have time for nothing else in your life - but as the gatekeeper, it's YOUR job to VET the men who show interest in you and to FILTER OUT the ones who don't have the same morals, values, and life goals that you are looking for. That means you're going to have to disqualify plenty of guys - INCLUDING guys you find VERY attractive. If you don't, you will get used. Your job is like the job of a doorman at a club: you can't just let in anyone, and if you make a bad choice and let a problem person get through the door, there's likely to be some big trouble in the club. Keeping problem people out is YOUR JOB, and your results are going to be heavily influenced by how well you do your job.

[Asker]

My issue is that he made it seem like he wanted something serious in the beginning. He seemed interested then on the date he changed…

[MrOracle]

This is why it's important to move slowly, especially if you haven't known that person for a while, because even if a stranger is generally interested in a serious relationship, that doesn't mean they'll want that from you in particular. He's got to get to know you well enough before he's going to know if he knows if you'd be a good match for him (just as you need some time to get to know him for the same reason). This is why you move slowly - why "dating" (what used to be called "courting") is important. And you need to understand that the early stages of dating are like the recruiting process for a job - you might have gotten an interview, but that doesn't guarantee you the job. It takes time before you're going to know each other well enough to make a commitment, and until you GET the commitment, you shouldn't count on getting it. That has nothing to do with you - this applies to absolutely everyone, man and woman alike.

This is less of a problem if you're dating someone you've known for a while - they'll already have a good idea of who you are as a person - but a stranger is going to need time to make an assessment, and so will you. Don't rush to get too emotionally invested in someone before you know if you are a good match.

[spartan55]

No, no, no.. making the first move has nothing to do with wanting a relationship. Where are you even getting that idea? "Making it seem like he really wanted something" What does that mean?
You have agency to cut things off, require a commitment, whatever THE WHOLE TIME. Don't act like you all of a sudden had the rug pulled out from under you.

[Sasquach]

Doesn't sound like he broke up w/ u. He probably is very comfortable with the life he's living

[Asker]

He’s probably closeted

[Sasquach]

😂😂😂 maybe

[Asker]

But why do that to women. Why bother them

[Sasquach]

Ask him?

[Asker]

He probably won’t say it but ik that he’s attracted to trans women

[Sasquach]

How'd you figure that one out 🧐?

[Asker]

Here’s the girl he follows

ibb. co/MPSCrrm

[Asker]

I’m sorry

https://ibb.co/DPFm7S3

[spartan55]

@sasquatch
That's her evidence: he follows her on social media! AHA BUSTED...🙄 So stupid.

[BarryLiverstone]

He didn’t change. He wasn’t ready for a relationship

[Asker]

Why you block me

[BarryLiverstone]

You asked anon

[Asker]

No I didn’t

[BarryLiverstone]

Actually you did. It said you are anonymous. Don’t lie

[Asker]

I tried messaging you

I sent you a pic of the tranny and you said gross

[BarryLiverstone]

Ya that’s gross. Why send me a pic of a tranny?

[Asker]

Is that why you blocked me?