I want to talk or make a move on my crush but I don't know how to?

Question

Ok so I was scrolling through Instagram randomly stalking someone's following and I saw this very attractive guy. I followed him the very day and we became mutuals. I tried to dig in some information about him and I got to know that he is serious about a girl. He keeps trying to make a move on her. In such a situation, should I start talking to him or just, you know, let it go?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Don't ignore an instinct (though, neither be sure you know what should be done or what it means).

As long as you "read the room" when it comes to "making a move" then you should allow yourself to find out where your crush might lead (not talking about getting involved sexually or anything, that's a whole different thing, just to be clear; Just meaning better to find out there is maybe nothing there than to regret forever in an illusion of what might have been had you tried).

There is only one mistake in life (in my experience) and that is betraying oneself. Too often, we second guess ourselves because we are concerned to "do the right thing", but what I learned is that whilst we continue to operate in this way of thinking we always get it wrong (and its also easier to KNOW this than LIVE this). I'm not suggesting throwing caution to the wind, or being irresponsible, what I'm saying is recognise that you have an instinct / attraction here and you can't really know what it means (yet). So, let yourself be comfy with both facts, 1) your attracted to someone, 2) you don't know yet what is. Then, just relax, forget about it, spend time with all the people your attracted too, listen to them, remain neutral and see what transpires (aka find what is real).

If you find yourself "day dreaming" of possible futures, shut that down and just go with the present. If everything about you calls you to 'see what might be romantically' with the guy, assess if you feel close to them (e. g. is it something real in the sense its based on continued interaction and sharing, vs getting in your own head regarding him); If there is something real there, just communicate how you see them, then see what happens. The important thing is not to let yourself down, meaning that its letting ourselves down if we try to crush our feelings before they have time to resolve themselves; Its equally letting ourselves down if we let them spiral out of control without a solid response from the other person involved.

V_Injector · Accepted Answer

If you're going for a top tier guy you're going to share with other chicks anyways. Shoot your fucking shot. Get your bone cave boned the way you want it to be boned.

You know you want to... just do it.

osmanthus · Accepted Answer

I'd say that in such a situation if the woman and man are serious about each other it's not advisable for a third party or somebody outside, not directly involved, to get involved, suddenly, and create a lot of tension and unnecessary trouble and there's no guarantee that if you approach this man that the attraction is mutual and even so there are plethora of other men out in this world that you can actually be attracted to and form a very healthy and long relationship with; that being said, there is no problem with being attracted and just to let know transiently mentioning that you were attracted to the person. I mean for all you know there could be a fallout later in their relationship and the man would refer to you later but I wouldn't hold out any hope for it so in such a situation I usually recommend moving on from it and finding somebody else. Getting into the thick of trouble usually isn't worth it especially if the two have formally made a commitment to each other whether by exchanging rings or having a written or other verbal agreement that other people are not privy to knowing about.

SugarSugarplum · Accepted Answer

There are at least 3 red flags here.
1. If he does agree to see you and she accepts him, that wooshing sound you hear will be him leaving.
2. You being with him will make her want him more.
3. You need to figure out how to make a move, and just do it. Not figuring this out will condemn you to a pattern of becoming interested, watching him fall for someone else, pining for him, and watching him get with her (or agree to be with you until she wants him).

There are 2 possibilities when you approach someone. Yes, or No. Don't think of it as risking your future, think of it as information gathering.

Makeushiver · Answer

If you know Jim from somewhere specific e. g. like a class in school or simply school in general ask them if they like or what they think of it. When I've been a roaches by women in the past its often a compliment but not overboard. Something along the lines of ' That short really looks hood on you in brings out the blue I'm your eyes. Something like that which is a vague compliment but always makes recipient feel good and acts as an icebreaker. Good luck.

FunkyMonkee · Answer

Try the Tommy The Cat method. Say, baby, do you wanna lay down with me? Say, baby, do you wanna lay down by MY side? Say, baby! SAY, BABY!!

Sunnysunny123 · Answer

I would say make the move, first of all if he replies to you make sure he is not in a relationship and no one thinks they are in a relationship with him. If he is single and is flirting with you too ask for a date.

SeriouslyNotSerious · Answer

Well.. They are not exclusive, you can still drop that pen in front of him sister! 😉😜

on_my_knees · Answer

"Boy, you are my slave, And you will call me by my title Which is Mistress. Is that clear, boy?" Works. Every. Time.

luvstoned4him · Answer

let it go because clearly his interest is in her at the moment. Dont chase, what is for you must find you

slatyb · Answer

Say hello. Then invite them to coffee or lunch or whatever.

LaurenM1997 · Answer

I’d leave it and don’t interfere with what he’s doing go find someone else to be with

noohair · Answer

There is no harm in trying to talk. You can sort of see on social media what is going on so he can't fool you totally.

Cheerfull009 · Answer

Invite him for coffee when he is with you, give view of your boobs and pat his thies and talk

chrissykerdock · Answer

offer him a blowjob

UnicornLobotomy · Answer

Talk to the guy you know thats not on Insta or fb

Anonymous · Answer

Just go for it have heart

MasterKS · Answer

follow your heart!

I want to talk or make a move on my crush but I don't know how to?

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