Why can’t I pull?

[Laylathetiger]

Frankly I feel like I’m not really likeable bc nobody has had a crush on me but a lot of people say I’m pretty what do I do to try

[MrOracle]

Are you just looking for casual sex? Because for casual sex, you just need to be pretty and willing. Getting THAT is quick and easy - but don't expect it to become any more than that.

If you're looking for a relationship, then being pretty is good but it's not nearly enough. FAR more women are disqualified (in the eyes of men) from being "relationship material" because of their personality and their morals, values, and life-goals than because of their looks.

Men have pulled WAY back from women because women grew less and less interested in being anything that men wanted and more interested in being strong-and-independent Feminists that didn't need no man, and thus increasingly saw men as little more than an ATM machine and laborer on her behalf. With the cost of relationships being so high for men, and the risk so high, with the benefits to men being so low, tons of men have completely checked out, and the ones who haven't tend to be much more aware of women's attitudes and personalities and are quick to disqualify them from "relationship" status and putting them in the "for recreational use only" status.

Still, SOME women ARE still getting relationships. HOW? Well, the first thing is: they're going after RELATIONSHIP MEN rather than Chads and Tyrones (the top 5% hot, successful, universally attractive men that most women are chasing and believe they deserve). Chads and Tyrones don't do relationships - at most, they do situationships, often with multiple women - and have no reason to change. Relationship men are typically closer to average (which most women see as "below average" because they've been trained to see men who are 8s and below as "below average"), but most importantly, they actually WANT a relationship and are looking for one.

Even these Relationship Men are only interested in women they consider to be "relationship material." Such women tend to have the following characteristics:

• Feminine (NOT Feminist!)
• Chaste/Innocent (very low body count)
• Fit (i. e., not significantly overweight)
• Friendly (optimistic, positive attitude)
• Family-oriented (rather than career-oriented)
• Submissive (willing to follow his lead)
• Cooperative

Things that won't help you or score you a single point (and could even subtract points):

• your education
• your diplomas
• your career
• your income

These are NOT positive factors in a man's calculation when choosing a relationship partner, and can be negative factors, because they generally don't benefit the man (women generally don't share their money like men do, and men generally need other things from women besides an income).

Finally, you aren't likely to meet a Relationship Man online - they tend to understand that you don't find relationships online - just casual sex. You have to meet them IN PERSON, and you have to spend some time around them, so they can get to know you, and your personality and values over time.

[Goahead76]

Well said man, I think it goes unmentioned so much of the time, men are too polite to say anything about any of this. You articulated it pretty well though.

[Avcfhcic]

Upload a photo and see what people on here say about you looks.
Then you'll know if it's your looks or who you are that's causing this.
For me, it's my looks that deter women

[_Maya_]

Try to do what? There is also like no context whatsoever. Looks alone are not everything as you kinda imply. Your personality matters a lot and perhaps how you present yourself or approach others gives off a vibe that is not attractive. It is hard to see ourselves that way. It is also hard for people close to us to judge us critically. You could ask a friend that you know would be brutally honest and ask if there is something you are doing that is giving off a negative vibe. None of us here will know since none of us know you personally. All we can do is guess and that could be a hundred things that you aren't doing right

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

You ask people out and see how it goes instead of waiting for someone to approach you. In this day and age of internet and instant dopamine, it’s better to just assume that no one will act unless you tell them what you want so just do that instead of trying to wish someone into asking you out. The worst they can do is say “no thanks”

[jorfan3]

This is a difficult question, because I don't actually know you. Some things that can detract people are acting clingy or desperate. So can being annoying or gossiping too much.

I don't really know you. Would you mind updating with more information? What have other people said?

[Nirmroth]

Maybe you ain't sending out approachable signals? Eye contact and smiling would be a good start

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Go ahead and keep making the move when they say you're pretty, it seems like you are shy.

[Pohjolan]

Do you think that we are medium's able to deduce this with zero information?

Also pull?

[rapfan107]

Maybe a few guys have a crush you just haven't noticed!! They're not gonna make it obvious

[spartan55]

You must have the personality of a car crash.

[thearchjoker]

to try what?