Why ask me about another guy? were just friends?

[Anonymous]

I was out with friends and a guy I know told
Me he wasn’t feeling well. So I didn’t think he was going to show. So I went about my night and I was hanging out with friends and a different guy I know is sweet so I held his arm walking and stuff like that. But then I saw my friend who wasn’t feeling well did show up. So I naturally go up to him and he eventually just right out says “what about that guy your with?” I said to him we are just friends…. He didn’t even text me to tell me was coming or that he was there. Why did he even inquire about the other guy? It was so out of the blue I was shocked kinda.

[ProbablyClueless]

I feel like there must be more to this story, because the answer to your question seems super obvious. The reason he asked you about the other guy was because he saw you holding arms with the other guy.

It would be like the equivalent of wondering why someone would ask you what it's like to own a Ferrari after they saw you driving a Ferrari that you rented.

Asking something like that is extremely normal. Especially in that context, because you asked him out on a date and then he told you he couldn't make it, but showed up anyway. So he's seeing you hold arms with another guy in the context of a situation you originally intended to be a date with him.

[Asker]

I didn’t him on a date that night. He has a girlfriend the last I knew I haven’t seen her. There’s quite a bit more that happened

[ProbablyClueless]

That's some really important context.

My guess is that he asked you about the other guy because you left the other guy to go talk with him. There might be some personal issue going on in his life as well. it's tough to say.

[Asker]

This guy locks eyes with me and i have only had that happen with one other person. He had asked me about the other guy but I had talked to him more after. Saying he makes it really hard to be his friend. I could tell that upset him or made him mad. Because he was he was shutting down. And I told him I don’t think you do it on purpose but I want to be your friend. But it’s hard sometimes. And he softened and said we’ll work on it. But later the other guy asked me where I was our big group split into two different bars. And as soon as he showed up to find me it quickly within an hour led to him standing up not saying anything and just turning to leave. And I called out his name saying are you leaving? What’s wrong? He was like storming out. I followed him to the door and he told me to go away. So I texted him saying what’s wrong you just left? Why did you storm out like that. And he just texted back after an hour and said I’m fine have a good night. 🤷🏻‍♀️ he’s rejected hanging out with me. So why ask at all who I’m with. Or about them… there’s so many weird things. This was just a boil point I guess.

[ProbablyClueless]

From where I'm standing, those aren't weird things at all. It's obvious that he feels some kind of chemistry with you that he refuses to act on because it would be inappropriate.

[Asker]

I just don’t know if he ever will. I would accept it and want that. But I can’t throw all my eggs in an empty basket. 🧺 I feel i know he can but he doesn’t want it

[ProbablyClueless]

Why would he? He's in a relationship already and there's clearly communication issues between the two of you.

[Asker]

Yeah I saw him at the gym this morning. He actually ended up storming off at the end of the night. I asked him if he’s leaving? And I said don’t leave like that and I followed him to the door and he told me to go away. I texted him and he blew me off with “I’m fine have a good night” but I said something is going on something shifted and you have never treated me like that you wouldn’t even look at me. He never responded. This morning refused to look at me, say hello, I know he saw me but he’s angry with me. He was clenching his jaw as he walked by and did it was very obvious that I should stay away. So I did. But wtf is that. Why confront me like that. We are not dating, he’s rejected getting together in the past. He ended up storming off shortly after the guy that was in question found me at the bar I was at with him and friends. But what am I being punished for? So I’m leaving him alone. I have to go back to ignoring him. Which I’ve done before. But this isn’t a normal tension between people who are friends.

[ProbablyClueless]

Yeah, it sounds like you're dealing with a child. You should probably see this for the landmine that it is and back away.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

I think he would enquire if he's romantically interested in you or in the other guy (yes, I'm trying to account for many possibilities!). It would be also possible he's concerned about your security.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

*security/safety

[JSkye]

From the behavior, he likely assumed that you were with the other guy and leaving your "date" behind.

Additionally, it is possible he is invested in you if he cares who else you were with. Guy etiquette also would tell him not to steal attention from your perceived "date."

[spartan55]

All of your 'guy friends' want to fuck you