Breaking the ice or just accept the awkardness?

[Anonymous]

I recently had a awkward one night stand with an ex colleague. we had been flirting when we worked together but nothing never ever happened as he got back an ex briefly whilst we were in this flirting stage. however as it had recently ended with his ex we recently matched on hinge and hooked up. However when I went round to his he said that his flatmate was coming back shortly, i didn't think anything of it until after we had sex, when he mentioned again that the roommate was coming back. I took the hint and awkwardly left and whilst i was leaving he said he felt sleazy kicking me out. We kind on ended it on okay terms, however when we next saw each other it was a bit awkward and I didn't really make eye contact. however we had a chat and we agreed that we were both in different places for what we wanted.

as we have a few mutual friends, we have seen each other every now and then, i feel like i have tried to be friendly and say Hi/start a conversation, however apart from the general Hi or how are you we haven't really spoken and it felt like he was avoiding me in group settings

We were at a friends party recently and he was a bit more chatty, and felt like moving past the awkwardness a little. But i randomly saw him today at the pub i used to work, at where he works after few months of not seeing each other. I was on my phone on a instagram scroll so didn't see him right away, but when i did we said hi/how are you as he walked past, however as he was working he didn't stop to chat much. I then noticed that he kept ignoring me the whole time, didn't look at me at all, kept his back towards me. This made me feel a bit anxious and like i couldnt start a conversation
I do want to reconnect as friends but am not sure how to break the ice and it feels like we can't get past the awkward stage.
i get a bit awkward as i still fancy him so not sure if its the same with him. Has anyone got any tips on breaking the ice.

[Oliverlogan263]

Ugh, I feel your pain sis! Breaking the ice after an awkward situation is no joke. A few thoughts:

- Give it some time. The awkwardness may fade on its own as you both get more distance from the hookup.

- Next time you're somewhere casual like the pub, compliment him on something non-threatening like his outfit to break the touch of ice.

- Bring up a funny/light mutual friend to remind him you're still friends at heart under it all

- Propose a friendly group hang with your shared pals so the pressure is off being one-on-one till you've smoothed things over

- Shoot him a text asking a casual question about work/an event to signal you're trying to make a fresh start

- Flirt a tiny bit if you can do it playfully with no expectations so he knows it's in good fun

Baby steps, chick! With some breezy interactions to take the edge off, hopefully you can get back into platonic groove soon. If he's not reciprocating the effort then maybe just give him space and know you did your part. You got this! 💪

[Asker]

Thank you!!
My friend said the same thing, the issue is i rarely see him, we only seem to bump into each other everyfew months when i meet up with friends and even then its rare as he might be working.

I dont know if its because i am not always instantly chatty, that he was a bit off but i do want to give him space so do keep my distance.

He is doing a reference for me for a new job, when thats done i may drop him a message.

My friend said to just like him on hinge, if i do want to try again with him and see if he likes me back as then i’ll know and be able to move on from him but i think thats a bit risky.

She said to do it, as it might then encourage a meet up just with us too to have a chat and see

[Oliverlogan263]

Nah I wouldn't recommend messaging him on Hinge right now. That could potentially make things more awkward if he's not into it. I think your friend had the right idea originally of taking it slow and keeping interactions light in person first before directly trying to hang out one on one. Since you don't see him that often anyway, there's no need to force anything. Just focus on being friendly and relaxed if you bump into each other. Once he gets more comfortable seeing you're cool as just friends, he may open up more on his own over time. But hitting him up on a dating app could risk putting pressure on him or making it seem like you don't really respect his pace at moving past things. Let him get the reference done without any added weirdness, keep doing your casual hey's in group settings, and see how it goes naturally from there. No need to rush or overthink it. You got this!

[chrissykerdock]

it's very odd he had no interest in you especially since you had sex with him i'd say forget him asap

[spartan55]

Pro tip: ONS are NOT for you.