Genuine question why would a guy risk losing a great woman?

[Anonymous]

My mate has just ended it with a guy she’s seeing. She meets his criteria in every aspect apart from not wanting to do anything sexual before marriage.

He does intend to settle down but not likely he’ll meet someone as great as her again

[Lliam]

I don't care how great she is, I wouldn't waste my time on a woman who was saving herself for marriage.

Compatible values, lifestyles and hopes for the future are important. And sexual compatibility is equally important. I wouldn't want to get married and find out that she was a sexual prude or something. The rest of my life would be a nightmare.

Sex isn't the only thing that is important, but it is important.

Plus, if she wasn't dedicated enough to me or didn't trust me enough to have sex even if we seemed like a perfect match and after I had proven my dedication to her, it would be she who rejected me, not the other way around. Either we love and trust each other or we don't. She is the one who isn't dedicated. Why should I trust her?

I wouldn't let a woman use sex as a bargaining chip to coerce me into marriage.

Besides, if she doesn't believe in sex before marriage, our values are not compatible. I place zero value on women's sexual "purity".

After reading your responses to other people in this thread, I see that you made this guy out to be dishonest, a player, and not a very good guy. So my question is, why would your friend be interested in him in the first place? Did she think she could change him?
They don't have similar values.

[WindAtMyBack]

What he thinks is a great woman might not be the same that you think is a great woman.

I've known a heck of a lot of couples in my life. I've learned to not second guess why a couple is together, or not together. I've known couples that it makes no sense why they are together, yet it works out for decades. I've known other couples that seemed like the perfect marriage, but they went through a really nasty divorce and hated each other.

Why they are with each other, or not, is something only they know. And even they might not understand why or how. People can list things they like or dislike about the other. But they can't explain why they like THAT person instead of a thousand other people with those same traits.

It's what we call chemistry. It's the unknown factor that causes two people to hit it off.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

What are even the benefits of prudishness really? When belief is prioritizing complicated and outdated morality takes above such a normal and humane thing as sex in a relationship. This whole priority order is unethical, anachronistic and detrimental. So, why this torture?

Yes, because Culture is a nightmare, sometimes 😬

[Avicenna]

I suspect if she could give him a general timeline rather than the vague no sex before marriage, he might be able to deal with it. Sex is important in relationships and if a guy thinks you won’t have sex with him for five years, I can hardly blame him for seeing that as a complete dealbreaker.

[Asker]

I understand, it’s important to him. I feel he shouldn’t have continued to push and see where it goes when he knows it’s a dealbreaker for me to do it and a dealbreaker for him to not have sex

[Avicenna]

Well, if she’s that special, I personally might be able to wait a year if marriage and having kids together after marriage were on the table. But most guys probably wouldn’t be willing zo do it.

[Asker]

Yeah I understand. I just find it so absolutely ridiculous that he’s saying he’s looking for something long term and serious. Then all he goes onabout is sex. Why not find someone who is willing to do that then 🤷🏽‍♀️ it’s a firm no and he knows it

[Avicenna]

Then the two of you may not be compatible.

[buzzword]

There entire reason why people go through courting rituals is to have sex. A woman that is not interested in sex is dysfunctional. There are men and women because we as a species are sexually reproductive organisms. You get to know each other in order to determine if you would be willing to hang around with the person long enough to successfully raise children produced through sex.

[buzzword]

*The

[Finchie40]

Because he doesn’t want to wait til marriage to have sex , just because she does, it doesn’t mean he does as well. So he did right thing by leaving her. People that wait for sex until marriage aren’t wrong , but they aren’t right either.

[ProbablyClueless]

Both partners have to please and impress each other in relationships. So the answer to your question in this case is that he simply recognizes that he's incompatible with your friend.

[Anonymous]

Obviously she wasn’t that great. To you she’s great cause she’s your friend. I’m thinking you don’t know the whole story of what went on. Maybe he’s not willing to wait for marriage to have sex. How old is she? She’s around your age?

[Asker]

Well he straight away got sexual with her so don’t think her qualities even mattered to him? She’s 28. Yeah he sleeps around all the time

[Opinion Owner]

Ok so she almost 30. She’s still a virgin? Ok so yes I read in a response you said she is a virgin. Something tells me that there is something about her that she can’t meet someone who wants to be in a committed relationship w her. I can see if a girl is early, maybe mid 20s who’s still a virgin. But a lot of times a girl who is much older, especially almost 30 has something going on w her. Especially if she’s pretty, a lot of men would pursue her. Most women want marriage as well as kids. So if she’s cute she has a good chance of a lot of men trying to court her. But if she’s got issues these men aren’t going to want her for something long term. Her being a virgin as well as her age most likely indicates she’s got some things going on.

[Asker]

She just hadn’t found the right person and got a bit older she doesn’t have issues. Obviously finding someone for long term & marriage is going to take time. A lot of guys that wanted to pursue her turned out to be liars/ cheaters were already married etc. and for some she just wasn’t attracted to them.

[Opinion Owner]

That’s my point. Something about her that men only wanted something sexual w her. You think she’s fine cause you see her through the lens of a female. Men see her different. Women who are usually meant to be wives, mothers, are swooped up right away. Especially if they’re pretty like I said. So something about her is keeping her from that. She will co tongue to find these same type of men.

[Asker]

Ah okay or maybe she’s just attracting some of the wrong guys or going for the wrong ones? She’s really pretty and has a nice figure aswell. Maybe she needs to look for someone outside organically rather than the apps. Most guys on the apps go for her looks

[Opinion Owner]

All guys go for looks. That’s what draws a man in to begin w. It’s the personality that keeps the man. That’s why I’m saying something is more than likely wrong w her personality wise. She has no problem meeting men from the sound of it. But something about her is deterring men from committing to her.

[DrPepper12]

ANYTHING? AT ALL? Yeah that's a deal breaker. No sale without SOME kinda road test even if it's not the eventual destination - Intercourse Pennsylvania!

[Asker]

Yeah if we was in a relationship I probably would do some sexual stuff not sex though. However I’ve found out from a girl that she’s been sleeping with him and she’s not even in a relationship with him! She says when he can’t get the sex he goes elsewhere to get it. She was seeing him for over a year and he’s basically used her for sex and he says she’s a psycho

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

What is the difference you see between sexual stuff and sex?

[FunkyMonkee]

That's like M. C. Esher: "I think it's upstairs in the basement, I'll go down to the attic and look for it."
If I'm about to get into a relationship, how could I possibly stay single?

[Berethor]

She virgin? I don't think that he intend to settle down, he only wanted to use her for sex.

[Asker]

Yeah she is and I just mean he does want to have kids in the future and get married. However don’t think he’d find someone as good as her. He’s also had a girl he was engaged to in the past who did drugs which he had to break off. Why would he let the opportunity go

[Berethor]

I guess that he don't plan to marry and have kids anytime soon, so that is why.

[Asker]

Ahh I understand!

[Vegasrunner]

If a girl isn't having sex w/ you there's no point in being w/ her. He's definitely better off.

[beefcakebradybatson]

Stupid, fragile male ego which would lead him to think he can do better.

[Asker]

Ah I get you. Well he was engaged for a bit to someone who was on drugs. He knows also I’m very mentally stable in my life

[beefcakebradybatson]

Hope they're now sober.

[Nerdvana]

Some people won't know what they got, until it's gone.

[Asker]

True :/

[LiamJHayden]

Many people assume that someone better is just around the corner.

[Anonymous]

1. She not a great woman

2. She is and he simply doesn't see it. Men and women alike sometimes need to learn things the hard way.

[Jamie05rhs]

He's a fucking retard.

[Asker]

I agree ://

[Jamie05rhs]

Yep 👍
You should probably just date Christians only.

[Yannae]

She wasn't great enough to him to stay.

[noohair]

You see great, he does not.