Will a man lose out on a good woman just to avoid being in a relationship?

[Sadie7373]

So me and and my sneaky link have been going on about 2 years now. We knew each other in high school (30 years ago) and reconnected about 5 years when I moved back home. He was married for 24 years and divorced the last 5 years and he's made mention that he self sabotages relationships and is embracing his newfound bachelor lifestyle. I'm sure he's a committment phobe due to his ex cheating on him and we've discussed a lot about both of our relationships in the past 5 years. We were good friends for 3 years before anything physical happened (he instigated) and it's been extremely satisfying in bed for both of us. He's very passionate and loving (in bed) but then out of bed, no semblence of a relationship at all. It's been a weird progression from friends to this, it's like we should have already been in a real relationship by now. We've joked about us probably ending up married to each other, but then he just avoids anything that resembles relationship behavior. I know he enjoys what we do in bed since he is the one that typically reaches out to me; I'm not chasing him or putting any pressure on him, but I'm getting to the point that something has to change. He will flirt with me and let's me know that he loves what we do and the chemistry between us is always there but it's almost like he's afraid of it. Even his kids love me and can't figure out what his problem is. Is it just time to pull the plug and give up any hope of him getting his head out of his ass? Will a guy just let a good thing go? Do guys even care about losing a great sexual partner?

[BlackBeauty90]

At 49 you'd think you would know more than what 18 year olds learn after their first two or three failed relationships. You refer to yourself as a "great sexual partner" so that means that's all you successfully contibute to the relationship. Sex.

A lasting relationship requires more than just sex.

If that wasn't the case cheating & prostitution wouldn't exist. But both occur because the relationship sucks and does not meet the needs of the other partner. Cheating is usually due to lack of emotional connection, etc. Prostitution because the sex sucks.

Ultimately

He doesn't want a relationship with you because you lack in other things he wants in a partner. Maybe he actually doesn't care to take on a partner at this age & is merely enjoying his renewed bacholerhood as he told you at the start

Either way

You are simply easy sex. Friends with benefits. And you'll likely never be more than that

[kylee2437]

Yes they would. That’s why it’s 100% important to ask what a guy wants / him actually wanting a relationship before investing your time into him because what will happen is if you don’t you will 100% doing all these things for a man that will 100% unappreciate it

[Summeroflove]

Seems he’s using her for sex. Guys like that. A woman could be amazing to him. But she doesn’t give him sex he walks out…. His loss honestly.

Then he gets degenerate hoes that treat him like shit and wonder where all the good women went

[Summeroflove]

There is men who have walked away from some amazing women. All because of sex

[ThatguyDon]

Of those 24 years he was probably happy for 4 years tops. He has probably learned anything that involves intimacy outside the bedroom is a no no. It is hard to relearn that. Unfortunately, it will take time, don't push him, give him some space and back off a bit and make him chase you. I have been married 25 years and am getting divorced. The last thing I want right now is another relationship. I feel I need some space. Timing is everything.

[coachTanthony]

Most men say they don't want a relationship and know right away when they meet someone if that person would even come close to changing their mind. Men usually aren't looking for commitment and know within 6 months of seeing someone if they want to put a ring on it.

[OlderAndWiser]

Have you ever heard the expression, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?"

[Summeroflove]

Seems like this is a using for sex……. So.

[FilmGuy93]

Yes. A man will 10,000% miss out on a good woman to avoid being in a relationship. You are giving him what he wants without requiring a deeper relationship. He has what he wants from you. Don't hope for or expect him to feel the need to make a change to something that's giving him what he needs.

[melanieeeB]

He will lose out on any that he doesn't want to be with. You can be as good as you want to be but if someone doesn't have feelings for you, they don't have feelings for you, no matter how hard you try, that won't change.

[jshm2]

Deary, you're just a side piece and cock sleeve for him. He never saw you as a part of a relationship.

You just got too attached, is all.

[Beatrix7]

yeah it sounds like your a side peace this happend to me with my ex he had a girlfriend after he cheated on me and left me i started going up just to visit as a friend znd we ended up sleeping together a good few times then more so a was just tgere for him to fuck when she was not there then he went out with soneone else aswel so he has 2 girlfriend's now and they dont know about each other then he started saying he would call but always lied it turned out he was only busy with me said i was alouc to come let me down about and cause he has 2 girlfriend's am out of the picture to see znd a mistake i made was getting to attached at rhe begining and we slept together first night we first met to be lovers wrong we didn't get to know each other my family said get away fae him ure a side peace incse his new one fails but now he has am out thd pic he's a dick so yeah it sounds like your a side peace to hunni stay away uwl do better than that

[Jamie05rhs]

How could you possibly be this naive? At 49 years old?

[LiamJHayden]

I have more than once. I still value the freedom to do what I want too much to give it up.

[Anonymous]

If he doesn't want to be in a relationship with her she's not a good woman.