What do you think about a guy not knowing a place so close to his home?

[Anonymous]

I started dating a guy who I met lately and one of our first dates was in a very famous and busy place of my city. The place is only 700/800 meters from his home…

The guy didn’t know how to go to this place first. He was lost. He leaves in this city for 2 years now…so I find it concerning. I mean it’s one of the 3/4 biggest and most famous places of the city.

what do you think? How is it possible?

[Anonymous]

It’s possible for a lot of reasons. Maybe he doesn’t go out a lot. Maybe he only hangs out in certain areas. Maybe he’s not interested in whatever type of business it is. Maybe he works a lot so is always between work and home. Why is this such a big issue? Sounds like you’re more into things like being seen, being on social media, being where everything is at as far as attention, things like that. There’s a lot of things in my area that I didn’t know about. Mainly because I don’t care. Not only that when you’ve lived in your city for so long you’re not really all that impressed anymore. It’s like big deal it’s Phoenix. Yes I live in Phoenix. Maybe he’s not interested in famous things. People have other things in life they like. They don’t have to all like the same thing or know all the same things you do. What exactly is it famous for?

[Asker]

He’s currently not working and had a cool job before.
When I said « famous » I mean it’s a very well know place, where people use to meet each other (intersection point) it’s a big place where most of students (but not only) go and there are several bars around. There is a big tortoise 🐢 lol which is a meeting point over there.
It’s a bit like living in Paris for a while and not knowing where the Eiffel Tower is you see?

[Opinion Owner]

Ok maybe he’s not into all of that. I know insta away from a lot if popular spots just to avoid people.

[BoopBoopBeep]

Maybe it's not his scene. Is it a restaurant? Bar? Club? Hardware store? Organic Grocery? There are tons of different places in nearly a kilometer radius of my house. I haven't been to all of them.

[Asker]

Just explained in previous comment. :)

[BoopBoopBeep]

Even when I was a student, I didn't hang out in places students when to hang out like the brickyard or this place that has a giant tortoise for you. You think it's weird because you're from a subgroup of people who would find this environment enjoyable/unique/intriguing/fun/whatever it is you think about it. For me it's just an intersection with a tortoise. That's no more important than that really good bagel place I found in a city I'm never going back to. As the other reply said though, I do find it incredibly strange that you put so much importance on it. That's west of his house, maybe he just always went east from the door. Maybe he thought there was too much traffic there. Maybe he actually did go once, and found it so underwhelming and unremarkable that he didn't remember it, just like I might not remember some dry cleaner you showed me off the highway.

[Asker]

« because you're from a subgroup of people who would find this environment enjoyable/unique/intriguing/fun/whatever it is you think about it. »
You minsinterpret what I’ve said. I m not especially a super hang out perso since I’m now 36 yo. And I’ve never really been. I think I have balance between going out nd staying at home because I also enjoy a lot nice evenings @home.
I just say that everyone knows this place, especially since it is a big meeting place, for staying or not in it. There is the tramway stopping there as well.

Apparently since he s not working at this time he’s spending a lot of time on video games so I find it concerning that he doesn’t know his environment in 2 years.

[BoopBoopBeep]

Okay. Don't date him. Problem solved. Everybody wins.

[BoopBoopBeep]

You said you've never been, but it's odd that he's not aware of this great place... that you haven't even been. If there was a hangout space for people like that less than a mile from my house, I'd likely only know about it as a place to avoid.

He hasn't worked for all of that two years? How is he affording to live?

[Asker]

Hey! I said « I ve never been (a super hangout person) ». Lol. The place concerned I go very often and I ve been there tonight!

No he worked and finished his last contract a few months ago.

[Anonymous]

He doesn't go out much. That's all it is. Break up with him if it really bothers you that much.

[Asker]

Yes but I mean it’s very close to this home. Meaning no social life or so…maybe depression?

[Opinion Owner]

Or, maybe he just doesn't enjoy going out a lot. I'm the same way. I live in with girlfriend, go to the gym, work, and occasionally see my friends. I'm not depressed, I'm just not 16 anymore.

[Asker]

Yes when you live an established life I understand. But I’m pretty sure you know all the most famous places of your city especially the ones around your home.

[Opinion Owner]

It's small and I've lived here my entire life so yes, I know where everything is.

[spartan55]

I think this is something that would never even cross my mind, much less occupy lots of it's space.
Why does this matter to you? Weird.

[Asker]

Meaning he has no social life

[spartan55]

You are assuming a lot and connecting the dots in the dark...

[Asker]

It’s just logic. Like virtual world > real world in his mind.

[DryGermanGuy]

I knew a gamer once (addicted to WoW) who also had no clue about his surrounding environment. Quite baffling, actually. 🤷‍♂️

[Danny_dan92]

Doesn’t go out

[Asker]

In 2 years …? How is it possible?

[Asker]

I mean he also had a job

[Danny_dan92]

Trust me. Literally that

[Asker]

I trust you. But how would you explain this?

[Danny_dan92]

Because I’m the same way

[Asker]

Really? 😂 why?

[Danny_dan92]

Because all I care about is work, gym and sleep

[Asker]

At least your are driven by something !

[Danny_dan92]

Always.

[Asker]

That’s a good thing ! The guy I met seems a bit depressed and spending time on video games…

[Asker]

Also strangely, he doesn’t have social media. 🤔

[Danny_dan92]

Nope. Video games are an escape from this fucked up world lol I do the same thing. Seems this guy been through the same bs I have tbh

[Danny_dan92]

The social media I do have, but have come close to deleting it. Several times, each time leading to me simply not opening the app for a long period of time

[Asker]

Yes exactly for the video games. But it’s not comforting for what I need, a grown man.
What makes you want to escape reality so much? I mean time is not extensible in this world I wouldn’t spend so much time in a virtual world.. maybe more in constructing a positive alternative. :)

[Danny_dan92]

It’s entertaining. Video games (if they’re well made) provide any degree of escape. Such as playing in a world you wish existed etc.

End of the day, some people like watching tv. Some like to play video games. Video games are simply a form of media/entertainment.

Good point, but let me ask you something. Do you think the world we live in isn’t perfect? Do you think things are getting worse?

If so, do you realistically see things getting better?

[Asker]

I send you a private message so that we can continue the discussion without diverting too much the initial subject. It’s getting philosophical lol

[Danny_dan92]

Go for it