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I made it clear to this man from the beginning that I wasn’t looking for anything casual or serious due to my past experiences. He initially seemed understanding and gained my trust, which led me to develop feelings for him. However, once I expressed my desire to take things slow, he started to pull away and make excuses.
On our date, he shifted dramatically when I still didn’t want to have sex… he became rude and insulting, and ultimately ghosting me afterward. It was clear he only wanted sex despite my boundaries, which felt predatory. This experience has been painful, and I’m still trying to process it.
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
3Opinion
He’s an asshole who only wants you for sex, not a predator.
It is best to break things off with him and never talk to him again. Don’t give him a second chance or whatever, just move on. If you find guys like this in the future just leave them be because if they can’t respect your wants & needs they don’t deserve you. You deserve the best, not a predator though an immature rude virgin.
… he is a predator..
He is an asshole, and you deserve so much better than that. You aren’t a tissue for him to cum in, you are a person who deserve dignity & respect & you have boundaries that he didn’t cross other than being an asshole to put you down to get what he wanted all along. You stood your ground and he fled with his tail between his legs. Not a predator based on what I read.
“he started to pull away and make excuses.”
& “ when I still didn’t want to have sex… he became rude and insulting, and ultimately ghosting me afterward.”
You created this poll as a way of choice, I don't know why you asked this if you already have the pre determined notion. Predator is extreme since he didn’t physically abuse you, rape you, sexual assault you, or go after a child / groom you.
I don’t see anything really connecting to predator. He is an asshole and you deserve so much better.
Saying things like “what’s the safest way to talk to you “ or “I know that you’re protecting your emotional well being but I still thought you’d be open to something serious “ or “I don’t know what all you’ve been through and I can understand if you’ve dealt with certain people but you shouldn’t punish everyone for someone else’s sins”…. Those things were safe and trusting words that made me believe he was genuine… it’s beyond hurtful and evil especially knowing that I’ve possibly been hurt … this was so hurtful and evil of him….
Yeah that is emotionally manipulating, violating, and demeaning also makes you feel foolish what that asshole did to you. You have every right to your feelings, opinions, etc. because you’ve been through so much. You deserve the best, this asshole is trash while you are treasure. Don’t settle for any less this piece of shit gave you. Period!
It is hurtful, vile, dehumanizing, and evil. I feel your pain and it is awful. You deserve the best, learn from this and you have a right to take things slow. You have a right to take things slow & no means no full stop. It is vile behavior and I’m glad the relationship is over, now it is time to heal.
Speak & spend time with the ones you love and hold dear who actually value you as a person worthy of love, do things that make you happy like going shopping or listening to music that brings you joy or watching a funny video for the 1,000th time knowing it makes you smile also laugh every single time. I wish you the best, don’t let my opinion bring you down or take away validation, you deserve the best. Go on and be happy. Assholes don’t deserve you and you don’t deserve to be pushed around by assholes. Don’t focus on guys for a bit, focus on you.
It’s been a year tho and I still can’t seem to let go… it’s like I want revenge and I’ve been exposing him.. but I still have feelings or empathy. I’m all over the place with my emotions and feelings… then I found out he’s attracted to trans bc he watches sexual trans content….
Still trying to process it over a year later... why won't you go to therapy for this?
Because she’s obsessed and doesn’t want to stop talking about this man she knew for a week🙃
@HollyK21 fuck you both. He’s a closeted gay man who is good at fooling women. YOUEE TO BLIND AND NAIVE TO SEE IT.
But manipulators are great at that
@HollyK21 *3 weeks
It’s been a week all this time, now it’s 3? Lies lies lies. You can’t help it at this point. I guess that’s what you have to do though, since the facts give you so little to work with or hang on to.
@HollyK21 I never said one week tho. Pull receipts before throwing shade
Please, I’m not giving your situation another moment of my time. You know what you’ve said, and you’re only doing this now just to start going back and forth, per usual. I’m not getting into it.
@HollyK21 thank you bc you dont know what u talking about
AT ALL
@HollyK21 and secretly you like it
@asker why are you acting like myself and @, hollyk21 haven't been present for all of these conversations? You have no credibility at this point. You keep changing your story, trying to play victim when it's been established that isn't the case. You are asking if you should 'expose' him, you've tried that, remember? Didn't go so well.
Where is the disconnect? Why aren’t you guys seeing that he’s gay and a user?
@HollyK21 I hope your fiance doesn’t play you or fuck a tranny!
Because that narrative only exists in your mind Chels, no one who knows the full contexts agrees. No one who’s seen how these lies have evolved the way myself and Spartan have, agrees with you. I wish you would just stop this shit already. If things go your way and he DOES come across all this slander and bullshit I don't know what it’ll look like for you legally.
@HollyK21 how do you not see it?
Because it does not exist. He didn’t prey on you and didn’t use you, he got nothing from you for either of those things to be true. Already you had to twist up the story to those other guys commenting so that they’d agree.
The moment people learn the full context, they no longer agree and you get all riled up, “how can you not see it! He’s a predator”. Like girl no he is not, not based off what I know. He himself even clarified with you in those text messages but you’re being so weird about it you’ve got to make it all mean so much more as to victimize yourself. I don’t know why you waste people’s time talking about this shit anyway. You are not healing or using those conversations to contribute to your healing. Each comment you sound just as hurt as you did when you got ghosted and it’s just bizarre Chels. It’s stalkerish, obsessive, embarrassing, all that. Her mad if you want but it’s true.
@HollyK21 then you know what.. tell the full story. You still have the pics right? Tell it. Because there’s also a lot of people who agree with me. A slew of men! After telling the whole story! It’s actually a very few amount of people who don’t believe he tried to use me like you!
When sex wasn’t on the table he changed! Even before the date … he never wanted anything serious and he knew that day one
Lmao, oh please. If your conversations with the other men in these comments is any indication of how you tell the story, then of course they’d agree. You only share the bits and pieces you think will warrant the most sympathy. The TRUE version of the whole story would have you looking batshit, especially after all this time. You never ever everrrr share your parts in this because they’re too shameful and embarrassing.
He didn’t want sex with you though Chels, he already found you unstable and said sex would make you more crazy, after you were already engaging in a conversation about sex, mind you!
He's a jerk, but calling a predator extreme. Imagine going up to rape victim and saying "yea same, let me tell you about the time time a guy tried to pressure me into having sex with him"
Same difference… I just didn’t sleep with him. No still means no
Someone forcing themselves into you is the same as a guy throwing a temper tantrum and ghosting you because you wouldn't have sex with him? Lol I dare you to go up to a real victim and say that shit, they would probably punch you in the face.
But by all means expose him for being an asshole. I'm just saying you're objectively wrong about him being a predator. That word shouldn't be thrown around lightly.
It’s literally in the same category… consent through manipulation…
Nah that's dumb lol you are a grown adult and nobody can manipulate you into doing anything. It is up to you to assert your boundaries and you did that, good on you, but you aren't a victim.
I’m a victim of verbal and emotional manipulation/abuse…
@asker
You fucking are not... 😂 😂 😂 😂 Such, a joke.
@spartan55 yes I am
Keep telling yourself that. Bye.
@spartan55 so being called crazy bc I didn’t have sex isn’t abusive especially when I didn’t deserve to be called that
No, it isn't. It's called you two aren't compatible and should move on.
He called you crazy because you were acting crazy. NOT because you wouldn't have sex.
@spartan55 HOW WAS I ACTING CRAZY? pls give me one example since it’s his “word” against mine
We've been over this already... just stop. It's really cringe.
@spartan55 can’t even answer it. My point exactly.
I don’t mind explaining any disconnect but what y'all aren’t going to do is make me feel invalidated by a man who very obviously just wanted sex.
I can answer it and have MANY times. I'm not indulging your gaslighting any further.
@spartan55 then answer it. So everyone can see what you’re talking about.. bc tbh I feel that I’m being gaslit and invalidated over a situation that happened to me.
So, all he wanted was sex... okay so what? Say no thanks and move it along. People deal with this shit every day. You act like the world is ending because it happened to you. This is seriously lightweight stuff that you've been bitching about for a YEAR. And you see nothing wrong with Ihat.
Having your friend harass him
Agreeing to have sex then backing out
Your public smear campaign about his sexuality.
All of that: CRAZY
I don't need to answer something I already have a dozen times. Fuck outta here with that.
@spartan55 So I already made it clear that I didn’t want sex. What aren’t you getting? Making it seem like you’re genuinely interested and lying to gain my trust to get it is predatory… this man never had genuine intentions… looking back I missed a lot of red flags that weren’t so evident… one red flag was he wasn’t telling me much about himself and he wasn’t honest about his name… pulling away after telling him that I would take things slow.
Only a sociopath would do something like that and it’s actually kind of scary
And because I liked him and thought he cared I would have given myself to him.
It’s coercive and he knows it.
@spartan55 I NEVER agreed to do anything with him but go out. You don’t even know what you’re talking about. ✌️
Riiight. Sure I don't. You keep using all these superlatives to make him sound 1000 times worse than he is. He's not a predator. Asshole? Maybe. But not a predator.