Why do (some) guys withdraw after being emotionally vulnerable leading to hot and cold behaviour?

[Crimsyjo]

I've gotten used to the ebb and flow of his moods (and he withdraws less and apologises) but I'm still left feeling sad after big moments of intimacy and feeling closer after him showing vulnerability? How do I reassure him it's OK? Or initiate contact to show its fine, I won't bring it up so he doesn't have to feel awkward.

[Juxtapose]

We are constantly taught to not be vulnerable or we will pay the price. Time and time again we are reassured that it is okay to be vulnerable but then our vulnerabilities are used against us later in some bullshit argument.

Men really, really hate that. Women should know better than to do that (just like men should know better with a lot of things as well).

Personally I am comfortable with being emotionally vulnerable.. for a guy xD I hardly ever leave myself completely open and at somebody's mercy.

[Crimsyjo]

Aww. Well I know he's very private about himself and life and what's bothering him. I offered him advice. Maybe I shouldn't have. I guess he's just processing.
There's nothing more endearing to me than a man who can show his vulnerable side. Makes me just wanna nurture and comfort even more. Wrap my arms around and head on my chest. Maybe guys want that too but feel weak or submissive to admit it.

[Juxtapose]

Aww that sounds play like a therapy session. I would feel so happy being nurtured like that, I have never had a girlfriend that affectionate before.

I hope he lets go eventually and just accepts the help.

[Juxtapose]

*sounds like a therapy

[Crimsyjo]

He said he feels really bad today. Feels like dying. ☹️ wish I could do more.

[Juxtapose]

We all have those days & good people are remembered in them.

[Crimsyjo]

😔 there's no good emoji for the expression I wanna make lol.

But thanks. And aww I reckon the best relationships are ones where "strong" men are nurtured behind closed doors by their partner. Having a safe place to be vulnerable and not exposed is so special.

[TadCurious]

I don't know for sure but I wonder if he's pulling away/becoming less emotionally vulnerable after he cums with you. If so, part of that may be due to his refractory period. With time and more experience he'll probably get more comfortable being open right after he cums.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

One of the ways to show acceptance is to show your vulnerabilities in return. "To horizontalize things", especially in a case where there is verticality to compensate for

[Crimsyjo]

Oh I show my vulnerabilities a lot. Maybe that's why he sometimes feels safe enough to show me his.

As complicated as it is... I do love this dance of emotion and learning and growth between us!

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Maybe? Surely I'd say :)

[Bklynbadboy12]

I think that embarrass some guys

[Crimsyjo]

But girls love it! I love when a guy let's his walls down. Esp if it's in private and just the two of you. It's so intimate and special.