He ended the affair but hasn’t left completely?

[Anonymous]

I was part of a 10 year affair, we are both married. It wasn’t always sexual, and was emotional for the most part. Out of no where, he drops me. Hell tells me what we are doing is wrong, that he can’t have sex with me anymore, that he enjoyed what we had but he doesn’t want to risk his family, and that they will always come first. I asked if he loved me and he replied that he didn’t, but will always care about me and will always see me as a good friend. I was upset, 10 years it a long time for anyone, but I respected his decision and I walked away.

I hurt more than I have ever hurt, the deep rooted pain was something I have never felt before, I felt as if my soul had been ripped from my body and I wouldn’t wish how I felt on my worst enemy. Through all my pain, I never went to him and I suffered in silence whilst trying to rebuild my life.

we didn’t speak after he needed it got around 6 months, and then just as I started feeling better, more like myself, I began naturally smiling and laughing again, and finally felt as if I started to deattach he somewhat returns. It is nothing like the extent as during the affair, but he will send me the odd message each week, 9/10 asking if I want to join him and mutual friends out for drinks etc. It definitely isn’t sex motivated I don’t believe as we wouldn’t be alone. I’m just confused with what he expects or wants. I told him I loved him, and he didn’t feel the same, he ended the affair and i accepted and left him alone, does he really think we can return to being just friends?

i havrnt took him up on qny offers and neither do i intend too, i have never messged him since the break up, and if he has messagrd me i havr been cival bur brief. im at a loss because i miss him, he was my best friend, but i can't go through what I've just went through again as im not sure i will even make it out. im curious of what his intentions might be, and if its possible to remain platonic friends after a secret affair.

[Oliverlogan263]

Wow, I can't even imagine how painful and confusing this whole situation must be for you. Going through a 10-year affair and then having it abruptly end like that sounds absolutely devastating. You must be feeling so many intense emotions - heartbreak, betrayal, loss, and uncertainty.

It's really understandable that you're struggling with the mixed signals your ex-affair partner is sending you now. On one hand, he was the one who ended things and made it clear that his family would always come first. But now he's still reaching out and trying to maintain some kind of connection with you. That has to be so frustrating and confusing.

I think it's great that you've been trying to move on and rebuild your life without him. Putting yourself first and not letting him drag you back in is really admirable. But I can see why a part of you might still miss the closeness and friendship you had.

The question is, what does he really want from you now? Is he just trying to ease his own guilt or maintain some sense of control? Or does he genuinely believe you can go back to being just friends after everything you've been through?

Honestly, I'm not sure that's possible. The emotional bond and intimacy you shared is not something that can just be erased. Even if he doesn't have romantic feelings, trying to be "just friends" is likely to be incredibly painful and complicated for you.

My advice would be to continue to distance yourself and focus on your own healing. Don't feel obligated to respond to his messages or meet up, even if he claims it's just as friends. Protect your heart and your wellbeing - you've already been through so much.

If he continues to reach out and you feel the need to address it, you could try having an honest conversation. Let him know that you appreciate him thinking of you, but that maintaining a friendship right now would be too difficult. Make it clear that you need space and time to move on. Hopefully, he'll understand and respect that.

I know it's not easy, but you seem incredibly strong and resilient. Trust your instincts on this one. You deserve to heal and find happiness, whether that's with this person or someone new. Hang in there, girl. You've got this.

[spartan55]

We now know that AI has no moral compass considering they sympathize with cheaters.

[Danny_dan92]

Wonderful. A pair of un loyal morons




I hope both of your spouses find out, divorce you both. And then fuck each other.




Jackass

[Abbycado]

This should be mho.

[Danny_dan92]

Thanks abby. This person is a bag of dogshit

[Abbycado]

Couldn’t have said it better myself.

[Asker]

@Abbycado my husband has had multiple affairs, I’m owed this believe me.

[Danny_dan92]

OR… I don't know. File for divorce? Instead of being childish and doing the same bs your husband is.

Two wrongs don’t make a right

[WhitneySnow]

He’s trying to remain casual friends with you, and he probably misses the sex and wouldn’t mind doing it again with no strings attached (although maybe not; his decision to end the affair did seem sincere). But either way I don’t think you should do it. He hurt you too badly for you guys to return to being just friends. If he really cares about you he will accept your decision and not bother you anymore.

[Oldschool1981]

My wife recently had to end a LTR with her side guy for similar reasons.

[Asker]

What does LTR mean?

[Oldschool1981]

Long Term Relationship

[spartan55]

He wants to hit that again... duh

[Asker]

The situation he’s creating isn’t us alone; he’s just inviting me out weekly with mural friends… after telling me straight that he can’t have sex with me again when he ended it I believe he isn’t interested in sex

[spartan55]

That's the genius of it.

[Asker]

Well I’m definitely missing the sex, so if that’s what he wants that’s what he can have 😅

[spartan55]

If that's all he wants (and likely it is) you will end up right where you are. I'm really trying to not tear into you because of my feelings about cheating, but it's time to close this chapter of your life.

[Abbycado]

God this is pathetic.

@Agape93

[Agape93]

-_- ffs

[jahaims]

Trash