Guy's Behavior

I’m in love with my friends with benefits?

So I’ve known this guy since highschool and we’ve always been very close friends, and nothing happened between us in the past. 2 years ago we both came out of long term marriages at a similar time, and found comfort in each other as we was going through the same thing.
We started to see other more, and talk more throughout the day, and then somehow one night we slept together. It was the best sex I have EVER had, it was out of this world.

from there; we have been sleeping with each other on occasions, but it’s not a regular thing. Sometimes we go weeks without speaking. Sometimes we speak daily for a week. 7 months ago, I got angry at him for not seeing me for a whole, and he got annoyed back at me and told me I wasn’t his girlfriend and he would text me when he’s free. This hurt me and I distanced myself from him and stopped making effort. I assume he’s noticed, but he hasn’t apologised, and sent me a silly message asking if j was still alive. This prompted a deep conversation where I told him I loved him, he said he didn’t love me but he has feelings for me and finds me attractive, and enjoyed what we had, and that even if we never sleep together again he will always be my friend. Since we felt different we parted ways, and I haven’t reached out once, but he continues, especially recently, to text me once or twice a week, and invite me out with mutual friends. The other morning he sent me a love song he was singing, that mentioned “you know I love you, you’re the only girl I’m missing” and I’m just kinda confused.

I know he cares, it wasn’t some tinder type friendship, we have been good friends for over 15 years, but he said he doesn’t love me, why continue to stay relevant, surely the kindest thing to do would be to give me space to let my feelings and emotions die. What’s with the love song? One random Monday morning, does he really just think we can go back to being just friends?

I’m in love with my friends with benefits?
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