Why are men so distant and unfriendly toward me?

[Anonymous]

Women make natural eye contact with me. Men dont 95% of the time. Male sales reps never greet me with a smile, are kinda unfriendly and aren't proactive in helping me while the female customer service reps tend to be friendlier and more pro active in helping me. On public benches or cafe seats, I notice men almost never sit next to me. If they do, its always further away, at least 6 feet away. The only men who do make eye contact with me a bit more tend to be married men or old men in their 50s to 60s.

There was a time where a group of police officers boarded an elevator with me in it. Only the female police officer said hi. I said hi back

It happened again at another point where a group of male police officers boarded the elevator and none of them said hi to me.

I can't help but wonder. Am I just ugly? Is that why men are so much unfriendlier toward me?

[ClassicDropout]

I don't feel compelled at all to be friendly to women in public. If I'm interacting with another man, it's universally understood that my "how's it going?" Is a polite greeting and nothing more. There's a good chance women read too far into that (e. g this question). I also do not appreciate the way these unsociable and obnoxious women treat men on social media. The thought of accidentally being polite to one of them makes me sick. I'll just continue to say nothing since I don't really have anything nice to say to y'all.

[Asker]

I would read more into it if you didn't make eye contact. Its strange behavior

[Asker]

I would be more likely to not notice you if you made eye contact.

[ClassicDropout]

I don't know to me seeking out eye contact is strange behavior. Unless I have a reason to talk to you, I'm not going to be staring into your soul

[Asker]

Because there must be a reason why you are deliberately avoiding eye contact with others.
Strange behavior will lead me to notice you

Things like everyone else saying hi except you, will make me notice you.

[ClassicDropout]

It's not even that I'm avoiding it. I dont want it in the first place lmao. Im not saying "don't look into that person's eyes" when I'm walking past them. They don't even exist to me unless they do something to catch my attention

[Asker]

so you go around avoiding eye contact and avoiding greeting women?

[Asker]

should i just go ignoring men entirely too?
never make eye contact, never say hi.

[Anonymous]

Well first of all men don’t act like women. We don’t get all emotional. Second, sadly the way a lot of women don’t trust men like we’re going to do something to them, a lot of men these days don’t trust women. Men don’t want to be accused of something. Not worth it. Even if you’re found to be not guilty of whatever she accuses you of your reputation is shot. Women need to stop thinking men act or think as you do. Tony’s as men that’s normal, it’s not being mean or cold or whatever women think it is. Don’t expect men to act like women cause you wouldn’t have the slightest clue on how to act if you were to act the way men did in society.

[FunnyButNotFunnyHaHa]

It's probably NOT because you're ugly. Men are capable of being civil to ugly women.

Two possibilities occur to me.

One is that you're giving off unfriendly vibes, and men see you as the type of women who would scream sexual harassment at the drop of a hat.

The other is that you're physically attractive enough that it makes men uncomfortable, and maybe they even feel slightly guilty about the sexual thoughts they're having about you, and so they keep their distance for that reason.

I'm sure there are other possibilities, but that's all I can think of.

Hope this helps.

[BluesDeville]

It's probably because men in 2024-25 have either been told or learned through negative experience to treat women as a special class that needs special rules. For example, there's a chair in my office that squeaks like an embarrassing bodily function. When a guy sits in it, we point, laugh and hurl insults at him (all in good fun). My friend made the mistake of laughing when a women sat in it. Our superior pulled him aside and scolded him. I know it's just one example but the men learn quick that women are not "regular employees" and it makes group cohesion almost impossible. We don't quite know exactly where the boundaries are so we avoid them altogether. As for the police. I'm sure their training teaches them the same thing.

[Stevepro68]

Look up confirmation bias the human condition and determine if that is actually happening before asking why?

[Asker]

it is actually happening.

[Stevepro68]

Ok you framed the question am I ugly? There are too many variables in human interactions to decide if looks is the overall reason for this.. I personally rarely make eye contact with people first. Maybe they looked away. Maybe you are too hot and they don't want to creep you out. Maybe a group of policemen are very aware of how intimidating they can be and decided to afford you privacy. There are infinite possibilities. People see what they want to see and brains rewrite memories to fit our narratives. Have the memories of a goldfish..

[Anonymous]

Women are always complaining about men bothering them so I just leave them alone.